Need a little advice to keep interest up

[Noeltech8907]

Hey guys, I have run into a small problem. i have been going for this girl for some time now, we were accually friends for awile and i managed to break away from the friend zone about a month ago. Everything has been great so far up until very recently. heres the thing just as of last week we were hanging out, having an good time and the last time i was at her house about a week ago we were holding eachother, she was laying on my chest, and we were making out. But here is the problem, i feel like suddenly she may be losing interest and i dont know what to do to correct this. I want to get her alone so i can work some magic but this week she is very busy and i dont know if i will be able to. So here is the question, how can i raise her interest level back to were it was before without getting any alone time with her, just about the only place i can see her is at school. Now im not even sure she has lost interest, maybe im just paranoid but any advice would be great.

 

[tmpgstx]

If you haven't had sex with her, you're still in the friends zone. She is unsure about this and maybe kissing you was enough in that it felt like kissing her brother.

 

[Noeltech8907]

no i dont think that was the case because she would have made that decision long ago, we didnt just kiss that one time its been going on for quite some time now. If when we kissed she thought is was like kissing her brother i dont think she would have kept it up for a month.

 

[Tazman]

You'd be surprised what they're capable of my friend. Sounds like you may have to cut your losses. If she lost interest, I don't think you want to try and reverse it, that almost never works.

 

[Noeltech8907]

Well i hate to do this but i have to confess that i have really fallen for her and i cant really just cut my losses so im going to have to try something, so if you do have any ideas please help me out. And agian im not even sure she has lost interest because i havnt go to talk to her much recently so i havnt been able to gauge her.

And maybe i should take a different approach, how about giving me some advice to keep her interest level up not try to regain it.

 

[Tazman]

But here is the problem, i feel like suddenly she may be losing interest and i dont know what to do to correct this.

Actually, what makes you think she's losing interest all of a sudden?

 

[aftershock]

Back away a little.

 

[Noeltech8907]

I feel like she may be losing interest because she hasnt really acted the same towards me lately, like how she talks to me. but now that you mention it i am begining to think more and more that i am being paranoid, because i really havnt had the chance to talk to her much at all so maybe ill just wait and see, im just frustrated because i cant get any alone time with her nearly this whole week so i might not know if she lost interest for a while. still any advice to keep interest would be appreciated.

 

[Tazman]

Your mentality isn't healthy right now and it's going to start affecting your behavior. Stop worrying about something you don't even know is true. For now, just chill man. A week isn't a long time. If she says she's busy, she might be telling the truth. If you pester her or anything you'll come off as desperate (which it seems you might be right now). If she stays "busy" and it becomes excessive than you have reason to believe she's not interested anymore.

Give it more time and stop sweating it. If she isn't into you anymore, trust me, you aren't going change it.

 

[The Juan and only]

"i have really fallen for her and i cant really just cut my losses so im going to have to try something"

RED ALERT capt'n...the oneitis scanners are going crazy..ahhhhh*boom*

ok, maybe its not that bad but ironically a oneitis-style mindset can keep you from getting that one thing you're after (a relationship with the girl "of your dreams")

Probably the best thing you can do is tell her you don't tolerate that kind of crap (kissing one minute, walking away the next) and make fun of her for her flakey behaviour.

In other words you need to start using C&F, start following the basic DJ principals and most importantly, start being a MAN.

 

[Noeltech8907]

Hey guys thanks, those last 2 posts were helpful and i think im just going to lay low for a bit and give it some time, i think that i just overreacted.

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by Tazman
Your mentality isn't healthy right now and it's going to start affecting your behavior. Stop worrying about something you don't even know is true. For now, just chill man. A week isn't a long time. If she says she's busy, she might be telling the truth. If you pester her or anything you'll come off as desperate (which it seems you might be right now). If she stays "busy" and it becomes excessive than you have reason to believe she's not interested anymore.

Give it more time and stop sweating it. If she isn't into you anymore, trust me, you aren't going change it.

I agree with Tazman. Stop worrying so much, i've been there...it just poisons your thoughts. So the best thing to do is to assume the best of the situation, and things are going the best as they always have.

However, life can get the best of us...even girls can be busy too!
A few hours ago i txted this girl how her day went. Then she vented to me how so screwed she's going to be if she doesnt finish her final project by tonight (cause it's due tomorrow). So i just back off and give her space...let her contact me when she's in a good mood.

However if a girl gives you a busy crap without a good reason, then they are most likely BSing you. Give her some space and if she's still interested, she'll find you.

Remember, you dont want to be aroudn when things are hectic with her. Girls can associate bad things with you if you're around.

 

[Noeltech8907]

^^ good points man, thanks.