Need a few ideas for making things more 'fun'...

[Ronin]

Hey gents!

Got myself into a bit of a bad situation here... This new model chick that jsut became my actualy girlfriend a month ago is VERY indipendant. lately we have seen each other almost every day since I got back from a trip (a week ago) and she has been sick. Because of this, she says she feels somthered and unexcited to see me. She says shes still super attracted to me and likes me, but she needs space. I told her that I have been feeling the same way (that weve been seeing too much of each other) and that I too think we should back it off a bit. Which is good. So thats what we decided on: that were gonna stay together as b/f and g/f but back it off and try to make things fun by seeing each other less and talking a little less.

So heres the big question of the day:

How do I make things more fun like they used to be. Were both still attracted to each other so I think there's still hope. I think I caught this one before it took a noze dive for the worst. All of a sudden, since I got back from my trip, we have seen each other a lot. It's gotten to the point where she and I aren't super excited to see each other and she and I want it to get it* back so that we are excited to see each other like we used to be (somewhat).

So besides not calling/seeing her as often, what should i do to make it fun again? It's just kinda blah right now for a few reasons. (shes sick so we cant go anywhere or do much and we have seen a ton of each other lately)

Cmon guys inspire me and out relationship with some ideas.

Thanks in advance!!!

~Ronin

 

[jbbrain]

Hey Ronin,

From my point of view, you can really do 2 things to make a relationship fun again.

Challenge/Mystery-Challenge is necessary in a relationship. But its not what many ppl perceiveiy to actually be. It's not about playing games and "acting" to not see her/care about her. It's actually about being active pursuing your passions and the things in life that mean something to you. If you're ambitious and you're both interested and interesting, you'll just come across as a natural challenge. Which is what everyone should strive for btw. I'm not there yet. I ean sometimes, I catch myself pretending I'm busy when I'm not. In the end, just keep yourself busy, so you wont have to worry about lying.

Just finding fun things to do together-I like this method much more than the incorrect perception of what ppl here see as challenge (waiting to phone a few days in order to "up" her IL), keeping the phone call really short because you're acting lie your busy when really u have nothign to do)..The point is, instead of focusing solely on YOU, focus a bit on HER. Bring her to do fun stuff. Have amazing, varying sex, take her on action dates. Go on trips with her etc etc.

 

[Ronin]

Perfect budy, thats exactly the type of advice I needed! That was what I was thinking about doing (somewhat) anways but I really like your idea about persuing the things I want to do and really become busy as opposed to faking like I'm busy and 'mysterious'.

Because I have found that when you try to fake it you eventually give in to "AFCish tendencies" eventually whereas if you are actually busy you are a mystery.

I think part of this is bad timing because now that I'm not in school I have a lot of free time on my hands. Things were alot more fun when we were too busy to see each other more than 3 days a weekish. School will start up again soon and things will be better.

Anyways enough rambeling....anyone else have anything to add or any ideas on how to bring hte mystery and fun back to the relationship.

I just want her to be excited to see me again....!!! And I don't think it's too late!

~Ronin

 

[jbbrain]

Ronin,

Another way to interpret challenge and mystery in my opinion anyways is not only to be "unavailabe" to talk or see eachother. That was the 1st type of challeneg and mystery I mentioned. Of course you can be that guy by actually having a life, like I also mentioned before.

But another helpful way of achieving mystery and challenege is not through the frequency in which you spend time togther, but ALSO by becoming a more interesting person altogether. You can achove this through self improvement and by LIVING LIFE. What you'll find is that the more you do this, the more layers you will have to your "man"hood and overall disposition. You become a challenege when you're not quickly figured out. This is not gained by faking being busy, but also by encouraging and manifesting your many "facets" into your personhood. I dont know if you understand what I'm saying. If you don't, drop me a line.

 

[Ronin]

I totally understand what your saying!

And even though i have been making efforts to become a more interesting person I still should make that even MORE of a focus in my life.

Tell me if I'm on the right track.

Things I have been doing lately:

Reading literature - I'm all about sports and partying so I wanted to gain that much more knowledge (life expearience kinda stuff) so I can have an opinion on more elaborate topics and have something thats applyable to my life in everyday situations.

Been persuing my Djing - In my spare time outside of University and Hockey i have been stiving hard to become the next big Dj. This is more for myself and my love of music than anyone else.

Took up rock climbing - its fun, works on strength and its differe then the sports I play. it's something that not a lot of people do and it's EXTREME and fun!

Workin out - Slowly starting to get back into the pattern of a constant workout routine.

Am i on the right track here?

I'm also thinking about learning how to cook and stuff like that. Sound good?

~Ronin

 

[jbbrain]

That is exactly what I'm talking about!
IMO, being amazing with women requires you to master the internal as well as the external.

It's the combination of these two things that makes you irresistible. By internal, I mean you have to learn to respect yourself and have confidence. This is achieved by living your life the way you want it and improving yourself every single day. It's funny that so many ppl have the misperception that having yourself mastered and "mastering" girls are in completely different realms. The point is, the better you become, the more you appreciate yourself and life in general..getting woman's attention because of this direct consequnce should be seen as icing on the cake..

Anyways, I'm rambling. In short, by focusing on yourself, not only are you making things more interesting for the women you encounter in everyday life, but you also become a better, happier person.

What you have planned sounds great. But don't stop there!

 

[Grey Fox]

If your going for the less is more approach, next time she wants to go on a date, cancel one day in advance or something like that. Make the time you spend together shorter, and if your feeling real risky suggest seeing other people. This advice is very risky, but it certainly makes you a challenge or you could go for the simpler route.
When you go out, don't go out because you feel as if you have to. Go out because you both desire to spend quality time with each other. Don't speak for the sake of speaking, compliment for the sake of complimenting. Your right in the fact that you have to play as if you were just going out. Its going to be difficult because she is a model and therefore very pretty, used to having her way and therefore high maintaince. So to keep her attracted your qualities need to seem so fleeting that she believes that no other guy can match you. I think thats what your aiming for.

-Grey Fox

 

[Ronin]

Thanks for the help guys. ANyone got anything else to add?

 

[Charisma]

me man, I got something to add

I only read your title and your last reply. But be spontaneous (is that written ok ?). Do weird ****, on appropriate times. I stayed in a penthouse for a year, so that means you're on the top of a very high building, and in my case nobody could see what I'd be doing on the terrass (don't know what it's called in english, it's the place outside of your appartment, like a balkony but bigger). I ones got to dance nekid like an indian up there, with a nekid girl laughing like a hyena (no not laughing at me ) That's something she won't see every day. Of course many people will think you're a freak, but we just saw this movie the previous night about indians doing that stuff lol, so in the morning it was raining, she was kinda moody cause she had to work, it was raining, and I just went for it. I always do things like that, not as drastical of course, but just .. don't let it become a 9-5 relationship if you now what I mean (eat, sleep, talk, drink, go out on friday every other week etc...) Instead go do some insane stuff, but only do things you enjoy, don't go working your ass off to get her to enjoy herself, you have to like it too of course, don't take this in an AFC way. I got a glance on 'rock climbing' I think in this thread, take her with you, and put something fun at the top of the route etc... Those are always good memories