need 2nd (well, more) opinions on something

[Ian1983]

really, just want some extra nails in the coffin.

Working with a girl taking classes, she's new at it (KB), and I met her somthing like 3 weeks ago.
2nd meeting, apparently after i had left she was asking if I had a gf (same time I got her no. to run her through some drills the next day).

After that, we sort of hit it off, kino (I was in shorts sitting down and she was running a pen on the inside of my thigh), making her laugh etc. That was tuesday (she was in a funny mood monday, and to recipricate I was being a ****, being sarcasitic etc.).
Thursday I was giving her a lift to another demo that we were doing, and shes talking on her phone and it transpries that she has a bf and had met someone while away on holiday and he and some friends were coming down her way and they were all going to go out.
Basically, this put me in a bad mood, and I showed it (I don't like women who cheat, and she slept over at his on the tues when I rang to see if her foot was alright...I know, slap me)
Before I leave I ask her if Billy is her bf, she says yes, but on and off (which she added is a good thing for some reason?).
Picked her up yesterday and she said I was being moody (I'm frustrated at a few things generally at the mo, and she's one of them, so......).
Today, picked her up, guy ring her mobile and their basically shouting at each other, says she doesn't know why she puts up with him etc, and I'm like, ' well, women don't like to give up on someone when they've invested so much time'
and she said some thing along the lines of its not that and kicking him to the curb blah blah blah.

So, after all that bollocks, my question;
she had high HL initally, but I may have changed that through my actions. Should I basically not be bothered one way or another and be friends, or actively try something (I did have plans to teach her and take her out for food on sat gone, but after thur I just couldn't be bothered).


or just tell me to **** off, eithers good I guess

 

[kel]

I'm but a low disciple of the DJ arts but I can pick out a few things you've done wrong.

When you got visibly upset that she had a boyfriend, you probably blew the whole thing. That demonstrates all the wrong behaviour; that youre easily upset, that you care enough about her status that it'll affect you, etc.

You probably ought to just start treating her like a guy friend. Joke around with her, give her a hard time, and dont' give a fack if she has a boyfriend or not. That's not your concern.

Just keep adhering to the principles of the Don Juan. If you're the prize, why would you be taking her out to lunch after she told you she has a boyfriend??? Ya wouldn't.

It also sounded like you were trying to convince her to break up with her boyfriend...which is a bad idea, since this reeks of despiration and approval-seeking. If she still had ANY interest level in you, running it like a normal DJ situation should get you on track, but don't obsess over it. She's one girl in a million.

Hope that's some help.

 

[Ian1983]

see, I've tried the general treat them like guys approach, and it doesn't seem to work for me.
The idea of getting them to be my friend initally seems (to me) counter productive (ie friend zone).

Plus, i have a abrasive personality, so.....

 

[MrCode]

You treat them like guys only in the sense of not kissing their asses or trying to put them on pedestals, etc. Tease them like they are your bratty little sister.

But soon after meeting them you need to get them alone and perform a kiss test. Now just don't kiss her out of the blue, you need to build up to it by starting with subtle touching then moving in when the moment is right.

If she reciprocates the kiss, you are past the friend zone.

There is still plenty of room to screw things up, but the above still seems better than what you have done so far.

 

[Ian1983]

right



she is now my little ***** and I'll wait and see what happens (ie IL goes up).

Thinking about it, I was really treating her like I do my sister (pissing her off, mucking her about) until that thursday.

What can I say, I'm emotionally imature



So, if I do get her alone (is there like a time limit that I should try and kiss her by before I venture into FZ), should I just feel out the situation and go in when it seems right (ie kino), or try and do it before I venture into aformentioned no **** zone

 

[Ian1983]

done and done

Had to bloody drive her home and for the 40 minutes mad: , I'd better get money for that) I just picked on her


Actually, at this rate, my IL is going down


and for some reason she kept telling me about how she is normally faithful blah blah blah (' I'm not your agony aunt').