Near constant texting

[pavlov]

So I went out with this girl for the first time last week and ever since she's been texting me all day, every day, literally. Obviously in some ways this is good because I like her and this tells me that she is interested but it's just too much.

I have been answering her messages pretty consistently (which was my mistake) so I don't feel like I can just abruptly stop responding because that might put her off a little bit.

How do I get her to cool it without her stopping completely or me looking like an ass? Also, we kissed on the first date but what are the chances that I'm becoming a friend?

 

[AlmostThere!]

I'm curious to know where did you meet her? What kind of game did you spit to her? How would you rate your looks and her looks?

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

So I went out with this girl for the first time last week and ever since she's been texting me all day, every day, literally. Obviously in some ways this is good because I like her and this tells me that she is interested but it's just too much.

I have been answering her messages pretty consistently (which was my mistake) so I don't feel like I can just abruptly stop responding because that might put her off a little bit.

How do I get her to cool it without her stopping completely or me looking like an ass? Also, we kissed on the first date but what are the chances that I'm becoming a friend?

No, it's not good.

Do you really want a girl that's up your ass right away? 6 months now you'll be out trying to play poker with the guys and your phone will constantly be receiving texts. "where are you, where are you, are you sleeping with some *****, do you love me blah blah blah".

Second, she's already got control of you. You're already in the mode of walking on eggshells for fear of displeasing her.

Break out of it. Tell her you don't appreciate having to constantly stop what you're doing to read text messages. Be brave.

Oh yeah, and Texting sucks unless you're already in a relationship or you've got booty calls that text only when they want to get it on.

 

[CarlitosWay]

Ugh hate texting sometimes. Last girl made me feel just like another friend with most of them (I kissed her second time we met up) IL I felt was great but it slowly died down, as we met up more(I went AFC and became to "available").

So I just started ignoring her texts. I will see if her IL goes up or not within a week or two of this. No actual phone call, movin' on up...!

 

[NSUballer]

Yea texting can get outta control sometimes. Girl sounds immature and needy, typical traits in college age girls.

I'll admit. when I first started using text about a year ago I would get all self conscious and **** when some girl i wanted do talk to didnt respond in, what I thought, an appropriate amount of time or even reply at all.

My friend cory is a texting master. He rarely needs to even speak to girls on the phone for more than a few moments to get them to meet him, go out with him and what not. Text game is key these days.

 

[pavlov]

I'm curious to know where did you meet her? What kind of game did you spit to her? How would you rate your looks and her looks?

We are both good looking and reasonably athletic. If you saw us walking down the street you would probably think "that's about right." I do have a smile that probably gives me the edge though haha.

Do you really want a girl that's up your ass right away? 6 months now you'll be out trying to play poker with the guys and your phone will constantly be receiving texts. "where are you, where are you, are you sleeping with some *****, do you love me blah blah blah".

Second, she's already got control of you. You're already in the mode of walking on eggshells for fear of displeasing her.

Break out of it. Tell her you don't appreciate having to constantly stop what you're doing to read text messages. Be brave.

Oh yeah, and Texting sucks unless you're already in a relationship or you've got booty calls that text only when they want to get it on.

Haha. You remind me of an Iraq war veteran who sees a plastic bag on the street in Iowa and immediately thinks "IED!" Just joking, thanks for the input!

You might be right about that situation 6 months from now but for now it's just fun, flirty messages. Yeah, I know texting is lame and against the flirting rules, whatever. If it ever switches gears to obsessive behaviour then I will deal with that if it comes.

I'm not worried about displeasing her, I'm worried about making her feel stupid. I want to tell her to hold back a little bit but I want to make it a joke rather than being weirdly confrontational.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Haha. You remind me of an Iraq war veteran who sees a plastic bag on the street in Iowa and immediately thinks "IED!" Just joking, thanks for the input!

Actually, that's a quite accurate observation. If it has some characteristics of an IED, I'm going to tread more carefully because women are in IOWA and IRAQ.

But, it's more like "consider and contemplate" for the thinking. It's just something to keep in mind of course. If you see other types of obsessive behavior then more red flags should pop up for you. Or, it's that she's really excited, but in that case, she'll burn out if she isn't restrained a bit much like if she wanted to have sex with you and you had sex 8 times a day for 3 weeks...she's going to slowly burn out on it and look for a challenge.

I'm not worried about displeasing her, I'm worried about making her feel stupid. I want to tell her to hold back a little bit but I want to make it a joke rather than being weirdly confrontational.

I can understand how you're seeing that but also realize that if you treat a woman like she's fragile glass, she'll tend to be fragile glass, but if you're dominant, don't care what people think, and she feels safe, she'll strengthen up.

What I mean is that if she's looking up to you as full of strength rather than you looking down as her being weak it really changes the dynamics and it makes women feel more secure, interested, and attracted. ie: if she feels you're paying more attention to her feelings more than she's looking up to you as a confident/cool guy, attraction will decrease.

 

[pavlov]

Okay. That all makes sense to me. The part about burning out really hits home.