NC help for newbie

[DonnyJuanny]

Hey everyone. I'm new here. Long story short my ex broke up with me and gave me the bait of being friends. Tried that for a month and was terrible. Told her that she was free of me and didn't have to worry about me any longer and she replied, "k." Thought that was the end of it but apparently she thought we would be texting still. She texts me the next day, NC. Get's really angry. Texts me the following day apologizing for day before, NC. Goes on for a week or so until she sends me this message on FB (from which I have defriended her but not blocked.)

"Hey, I know this last month hasn't been a very good one and I take the blame for that. I have put this off for too long and it has caused a lot of trouble. But I'm finally ready to give you some answers and even though I know it is too late now, at least you'll have the answers you've been asking for.
I came to college not wanting any kind of relationship. Relationships and I just didn't get along, and I wanted to enjoy myself my freshman year. Obviously God had different plans for me. I met you and I'm so glad I did. You immediately made me feel comfortable. Even though I was still skeptical about the relationship thing, I went with my heart. You made me fall in love with you. You made me feel so special. Even when things were rocky with us, I couldn't be mad for long. I had the most amazing freshman year because of you. Then finals week came along and I was stressed about keeping HOPE. I went home that weekend and I don't know why but I had a terrible feeling about us. It was the weirdest thing. I just knew something wasn't right. So when I was coming back to college and we started arguing, I just got pissed and ended things. Yes, I did it out of anger, but deep down, I knew I really did it because of that weird feeling I had. After finals when I was home for good, I just sat down and thought about what I needed and wanted with my life. DonnyJuanny you are an awesome person and I still love you to death, but I realized that you aren't what I need. My brain was telling me I needed you, and my heart was telling me I didn't. I just think we are 2 different people than we were when we first started dating. I was fresh out of high school and just wanted to be accepted by new people. I may not seem very different now, but I feel so different than I did then. or maybe it's not that I'm different, it's just that my perspectives on life have changed. I think that's a better way of putting it.
Here's the thing: my whole life, I've had my image of what my life would be like. I have my husband drawn out to exactly how I want him. and this may sound harsh, but you're not what I had planned. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you because there isn't. I dated you for 9 months and you were amazing but when it comes down to how I want to spend my future, I don't wanna settle for something that's not what I have planned for myself. especially when I haven't even looked for my husband.
The reason I knew it was time for me to finally be honest with you is because yesterday during church, my preacher was talking about fathers and he said girls need and want their daddies' approval for everything. and that's exactly how I am except with my dad, brother, and Pops. They liked you. I know they did because of how they have acted in the past and how they acted with you. But when I see how happy my entire family is when my brother's' girlfriend is around, it makes me want that so much. and if I can't get that approval from my family, I'll never be truly happy. I really hope that doesn't make me sound shallow, but that's not my intention. I just want my life to be a certain way and I didn't see that with us.
I hope this gives you some of the answers you were looking for, even if they don't matter anymore. Also, i've realized that we probably can't be friends. We've never been friends, so we have nothing to go back to. We met and instantly started dating. I don't know how to be friends with you. and the way the last month went, i think that's a pretty good indication that we aren't the best of friends. with that being said, i am here for you if you ever need me. i know we said we were best friends but it was because we were in love each other. so i will be here for you because i do still care. I'm sorry for the bottom of my heart for all of this. I never in a million years wanted to hurt you. and I know you'll never forgive me but I am sorry. Have a great life. I'll see you at college. I'm not changing my history class, but you can if you want to. I'll give you the space you need.
I know you probably won't reply, so I'm telling you goodbye now. You are an amazing guy. I know you will find someone that is perfect for you. I'm just sorry it wasn't me. I do love you and I will for a long time. That doesn't just change. For mine and your sake, I'm going to block you on here and block your number. It makes it easier for me knowing that I can't contact you, so if you do ever try to get in touch with me, I'm not ignoring you. I just won't be getting your stuff. I'm not gonna block you until later so you can reply if you want to. I wish you would just so I know you read this and hope it helps you understand why I did this. i know it had to suck to go this long without answers. thats why i feel so bad about it. I'm really sorry. just reply if you want to. if not, i'll see you around. goodbye.

So what is my play here, fellas? I still really like her and I'm just not sure what to do. I feel like if I break NC then that is exactly what she wants and I gain nothing from it and she gets what she wants. If I don't break NC then she's blocking me and this very well could be the last time I hear from her. Of course we do have class together in the fall. Do I just keep NC and move on and just see her in the fall?

 

[SoSuave666]

These cookie cut responses are not why she broke up with you. I bet her "ideal" man looks like Ryan gosling, is as rich as bill gates, and as sweet as a fvckin lollipop. She broke up because somewhere along the road, you dropped the ball as a man. No need to try and seek answers. All you will get are half a$$ed emails from a girl pretending to care about you behind a computer screen in her room where she is banging the bad boy from down the hall you were always jealous of. Do yourself a favor and don't reply to her and remain no contact. This chick isn't worth it. I'm sure you're a good dude, so just go out and find someone new. You're in college so my final recommendation is to not get in a relationship at all bro. Live it up and party.


I bet some time next year while you're back at school shell try and hook up with you again. It's all about what you can do for her now, and since school is out you can't do sh1t. At least she wrote you a message though, sometimes you dont even get that courtesy.

 

[Skalioppe]

Of course you still like her, she's rejected you. That's what happens to us when we're rejected, we cling, throw emotions at them, keep dreaming about being back together, anything to keep them with us. Fvck the flaky game playing b1tch - her whole monologue stinks of bullsh1t excuses whilst trying to keep you on her b1tch leash for her ego.

She wants you as a crutch but not as her man, but it won't work, simply because your relationship dynamic changed beyond repair. She wants some idealistic notion of a man who daddy loves, is going to earn a sh1t load of money and keep her in diamonds, holidays to the French riviera and hand feed her peeled grapes.

You've got oneitis at the moment, you're diseased. Man the fvck up and draw a line under it, I'm sorry man but it's done.

You know what you've got to do, you shouldn't need to ask. Continue with NC, remove all trace of her, phone numbers, emails, pictures, keepsakes, and ignore this emotional blackmail bullsh1t email, go through the pain, it'll hurt for a couple of months but then you'll be fine. You'll think about her a lot, you'll be tempted to cling to all the good times and that will give you a notion it's saveable - it isn't.... IT'S DONE. << Read it and read it again.. IT'S DONE, you need to come to terms with it. Move on, chase other women.

If you see her about in college always look like you're having the best fun ever. NEVER ever look down or upset - that is absolutely imperative to fvck her up, and whatever you do, don't go changing your life for her, so no dropping out of mutual classes or whatever.

If she approaches you at college and tries to talk to you, be polite and say "Hey, there's nothing more to talk about, is there? It's done and in reflection I'm happy, so all the best." and walk away with a smile like you couldn't give a fvck.

Hit the gym and get out looking for Miss New, ASAP.

 

[HalfAddict]

Advice for NC huh?

STOP MAKING CONTACT

I don't even need to read that wall of text... Go outside and do something and stop talking to her.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

well i haven't made contact and i don't plan to. i guess the jist of this thread was more hoping to get encouraging words to stay the course, which most have responded with, than to make contact. I know that it is over. Sometimes it can jst be difficult when you've talked to someone and they've become such a part of your life. Thanks everyone for the kind words. Oh and btw I've lost twenty five pounds andi've quit smoking since breaking up. :rockon:

 

[Skalioppe]

I know that it is over. Sometimes it can jst be difficult when you've talked to someone and they've become such a part of your life. Thanks everyone for the kind words. Oh and btw I've lost twenty five pounds andi've quit smoking since breaking up. :rockon:

Man, it's hard to accept, we've all been there, but better to walk away with your head held high than be used as some crutch whilst she looks around for her new man. You've manned up and smelt the coffee. It's a big step, and very well done on the lifestyle changes, something fantastic to be proud of!

 

[betheman]

.....

So what is my play here, fellas? I still really like her and I'm just not sure what to do. I feel like if I break NC then that is exactly what she wants and I gain nothing from it and she gets what she wants. If I don't break NC then she's blocking me and this very well could be the last time I hear from her. Of course we do have class together in the fall. Do I just keep NC and move on and just see her in the fall?

WELL DonnyJaunny..what a bag of cr@p she has prepared for you! she got upset when you did go NC which spured on her to draw a bit more blood hence the 'visible from space' wall of text.
she is offering you absolutely nothing in that text, nothing! she is telling you there is no future for you two, she ,merely wants to know she has destroyed you, its a power trip.

my advice...a simple reply on FB...."k"... then block her, delete her trat her as if she lives on the f ccukling moon.

p.s. there is another guy/guys

 

[headFirst]

that would be epic.. "k." Make sure you add the period too. Lol good stuff.

 

[\O/]

Keep your dignity. Do NOT answer. Don't even bother with replying K. Just ignore and move on with your life. Never look back, always forward. Don't give her the satisfaction of appearing to care, even if you do. Next please.