DonnyJuanny
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2012
- Messages
- 43
- Reaction score
- 1
Hey everyone. I'm new here. Long story short my ex broke up with me and gave me the bait of being friends. Tried that for a month and was terrible. Told her that she was free of me and didn't have to worry about me any longer and she replied, "k." Thought that was the end of it but apparently she thought we would be texting still. She texts me the next day, NC. Get's really angry. Texts me the following day apologizing for day before, NC. Goes on for a week or so until she sends me this message on FB (from which I have defriended her but not blocked.)
"Hey, I know this last month hasn't been a very good one and I take the blame for that. I have put this off for too long and it has caused a lot of trouble. But I'm finally ready to give you some answers and even though I know it is too late now, at least you'll have the answers you've been asking for.
I came to college not wanting any kind of relationship. Relationships and I just didn't get along, and I wanted to enjoy myself my freshman year. Obviously God had different plans for me. I met you and I'm so glad I did. You immediately made me feel comfortable. Even though I was still skeptical about the relationship thing, I went with my heart. You made me fall in love with you. You made me feel so special. Even when things were rocky with us, I couldn't be mad for long. I had the most amazing freshman year because of you. Then finals week came along and I was stressed about keeping HOPE. I went home that weekend and I don't know why but I had a terrible feeling about us. It was the weirdest thing. I just knew something wasn't right. So when I was coming back to college and we started arguing, I just got pissed and ended things. Yes, I did it out of anger, but deep down, I knew I really did it because of that weird feeling I had. After finals when I was home for good, I just sat down and thought about what I needed and wanted with my life. DonnyJuanny you are an awesome person and I still love you to death, but I realized that you aren't what I need. My brain was telling me I needed you, and my heart was telling me I didn't. I just think we are 2 different people than we were when we first started dating. I was fresh out of high school and just wanted to be accepted by new people. I may not seem very different now, but I feel so different than I did then. or maybe it's not that I'm different, it's just that my perspectives on life have changed. I think that's a better way of putting it.
Here's the thing: my whole life, I've had my image of what my life would be like. I have my husband drawn out to exactly how I want him. and this may sound harsh, but you're not what I had planned. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you because there isn't. I dated you for 9 months and you were amazing but when it comes down to how I want to spend my future, I don't wanna settle for something that's not what I have planned for myself. especially when I haven't even looked for my husband.
The reason I knew it was time for me to finally be honest with you is because yesterday during church, my preacher was talking about fathers and he said girls need and want their daddies' approval for everything. and that's exactly how I am except with my dad, brother, and Pops. They liked you. I know they did because of how they have acted in the past and how they acted with you. But when I see how happy my entire family is when my brother's' girlfriend is around, it makes me want that so much. and if I can't get that approval from my family, I'll never be truly happy. I really hope that doesn't make me sound shallow, but that's not my intention. I just want my life to be a certain way and I didn't see that with us.
I hope this gives you some of the answers you were looking for, even if they don't matter anymore. Also, i've realized that we probably can't be friends. We've never been friends, so we have nothing to go back to. We met and instantly started dating. I don't know how to be friends with you. and the way the last month went, i think that's a pretty good indication that we aren't the best of friends. with that being said, i am here for you if you ever need me. i know we said we were best friends but it was because we were in love each other. so i will be here for you because i do still care. I'm sorry for the bottom of my heart for all of this. I never in a million years wanted to hurt you. and I know you'll never forgive me but I am sorry. Have a great life. I'll see you at college. I'm not changing my history class, but you can if you want to. I'll give you the space you need.
I know you probably won't reply, so I'm telling you goodbye now. You are an amazing guy. I know you will find someone that is perfect for you. I'm just sorry it wasn't me. I do love you and I will for a long time. That doesn't just change. For mine and your sake, I'm going to block you on here and block your number. It makes it easier for me knowing that I can't contact you, so if you do ever try to get in touch with me, I'm not ignoring you. I just won't be getting your stuff. I'm not gonna block you until later so you can reply if you want to. I wish you would just so I know you read this and hope it helps you understand why I did this. i know it had to suck to go this long without answers. thats why i feel so bad about it. I'm really sorry. just reply if you want to. if not, i'll see you around. goodbye.
So what is my play here, fellas? I still really like her and I'm just not sure what to do. I feel like if I break NC then that is exactly what she wants and I gain nothing from it and she gets what she wants. If I don't break NC then she's blocking me and this very well could be the last time I hear from her. Of course we do have class together in the fall. Do I just keep NC and move on and just see her in the fall?
"Hey, I know this last month hasn't been a very good one and I take the blame for that. I have put this off for too long and it has caused a lot of trouble. But I'm finally ready to give you some answers and even though I know it is too late now, at least you'll have the answers you've been asking for.
I came to college not wanting any kind of relationship. Relationships and I just didn't get along, and I wanted to enjoy myself my freshman year. Obviously God had different plans for me. I met you and I'm so glad I did. You immediately made me feel comfortable. Even though I was still skeptical about the relationship thing, I went with my heart. You made me fall in love with you. You made me feel so special. Even when things were rocky with us, I couldn't be mad for long. I had the most amazing freshman year because of you. Then finals week came along and I was stressed about keeping HOPE. I went home that weekend and I don't know why but I had a terrible feeling about us. It was the weirdest thing. I just knew something wasn't right. So when I was coming back to college and we started arguing, I just got pissed and ended things. Yes, I did it out of anger, but deep down, I knew I really did it because of that weird feeling I had. After finals when I was home for good, I just sat down and thought about what I needed and wanted with my life. DonnyJuanny you are an awesome person and I still love you to death, but I realized that you aren't what I need. My brain was telling me I needed you, and my heart was telling me I didn't. I just think we are 2 different people than we were when we first started dating. I was fresh out of high school and just wanted to be accepted by new people. I may not seem very different now, but I feel so different than I did then. or maybe it's not that I'm different, it's just that my perspectives on life have changed. I think that's a better way of putting it.
Here's the thing: my whole life, I've had my image of what my life would be like. I have my husband drawn out to exactly how I want him. and this may sound harsh, but you're not what I had planned. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you because there isn't. I dated you for 9 months and you were amazing but when it comes down to how I want to spend my future, I don't wanna settle for something that's not what I have planned for myself. especially when I haven't even looked for my husband.
The reason I knew it was time for me to finally be honest with you is because yesterday during church, my preacher was talking about fathers and he said girls need and want their daddies' approval for everything. and that's exactly how I am except with my dad, brother, and Pops. They liked you. I know they did because of how they have acted in the past and how they acted with you. But when I see how happy my entire family is when my brother's' girlfriend is around, it makes me want that so much. and if I can't get that approval from my family, I'll never be truly happy. I really hope that doesn't make me sound shallow, but that's not my intention. I just want my life to be a certain way and I didn't see that with us.
I hope this gives you some of the answers you were looking for, even if they don't matter anymore. Also, i've realized that we probably can't be friends. We've never been friends, so we have nothing to go back to. We met and instantly started dating. I don't know how to be friends with you. and the way the last month went, i think that's a pretty good indication that we aren't the best of friends. with that being said, i am here for you if you ever need me. i know we said we were best friends but it was because we were in love each other. so i will be here for you because i do still care. I'm sorry for the bottom of my heart for all of this. I never in a million years wanted to hurt you. and I know you'll never forgive me but I am sorry. Have a great life. I'll see you at college. I'm not changing my history class, but you can if you want to. I'll give you the space you need.
I know you probably won't reply, so I'm telling you goodbye now. You are an amazing guy. I know you will find someone that is perfect for you. I'm just sorry it wasn't me. I do love you and I will for a long time. That doesn't just change. For mine and your sake, I'm going to block you on here and block your number. It makes it easier for me knowing that I can't contact you, so if you do ever try to get in touch with me, I'm not ignoring you. I just won't be getting your stuff. I'm not gonna block you until later so you can reply if you want to. I wish you would just so I know you read this and hope it helps you understand why I did this. i know it had to suck to go this long without answers. thats why i feel so bad about it. I'm really sorry. just reply if you want to. if not, i'll see you around. goodbye.
So what is my play here, fellas? I still really like her and I'm just not sure what to do. I feel like if I break NC then that is exactly what she wants and I gain nothing from it and she gets what she wants. If I don't break NC then she's blocking me and this very well could be the last time I hear from her. Of course we do have class together in the fall. Do I just keep NC and move on and just see her in the fall?