Myths about the friend zone and LJBF

[DJnomore]

Alot of guys think there is something wrong with being close friends with a woman. Personally I don't think there is any truth to this. There is a really good post on how to escape the friends zone floating around here at sosuave but I can't remember who wrote it. But it convinced me that there is no friend zone just AFC zone.


OK lets put ourselves in womens shoes for a second.

Imagine you have someone of the opposite sex who you like hanging out with. You seek out their company, call them every week etc. If you lost their friendship you would really feel a loss.

Now imagine they wanted to kiss you.


What would cause you to tell them that you don't want any of that and you want to be ONLY or JUST friends?

ONLY and JUST are diminishing words they are used to describe something that is limited or inferior. If you are only friends that is a step below friends. Likewise with just friends. To me this signifies a state BELOW friendship.

I would only tell a girl I wanted to be just friends if...

1) I was not attracted to her
2) I don't really like her enough to spend the rest of my life with her or the rest of the weekend for that matter
3) I had other romantic commitments
4) I was sure she would leave me and the relationship would take away my friend. (nah I would go for it but some would not)
5) I am attracted to her non-romantic side but once they is attracted to me she turns into a pathetic loser.

OK now if you agree with the above on how you would act. Lets flip this around to why she just said LJBF.

Most guys assume that they are in state 4 but in reality most LJBF guys are in state 1 , 2 or 5.

However if you are honest with yourself you can often escape the LJBF zone. by addressing the root cause.

1) Improve your appearance and desirability
2) Have courage. Enough courage to admit if she isn't into you then she isn't the one.
3) You have access to compete with other guys if that is the cause
4) You can convince her you are really into her and won't leave or just cut her off she will come back.
5) Work on being less involved once you start to like the girl and be willing to fail and take risks.


If a woman values your friendship you are half way towards getting her for a LTR. Sure she won't want a one night stand...
But most girls who say LJBF don't really respect you. You are not being penalized for being too good....you are being penalized for nto being good enough at the right things.

Anyway have fun

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

My two best female friends are VERY good looking girls... If they asked me to kiss them I would NOT (Even though I met them through onenightstands....). Another one of my very close female friends, I'd never do anything with her even thoug I never have either....

I cherrish my female friends, I love them. Hugging them, holding them, partying with them, going clubbing with them, exchanging christmas gifts. Yepp, they are a big and important part of my life and they also introduce me to alot of girls so it's even better!

 

[ManOMan]

I think sometimes women show initial interest ina guy, then when they realize there is no spark, they do LJBF

but there is always an imbalance on who likes the other person more.

A guy may get pissed off that a girl showed some IL, then later wanted to be friends.

There is simply NOTHING wrong with that, if the chemistry isnt bilateral, its no reason to get pissed at the girl.

 

[318 Most Hated]

bump

.....

 

[Austin Allegro]

There's nothing wrong with having female friends.

They are a great source of social proof and a way of meeting other women.

One of my female friends has set me up with women she knows and has also acted as a wingman for me.

As long as you treat them, and they treat you, exactly like a male friend you will be ok - ie no flakey behaviour, no using you as an emotional tampon, no supplicating, etc.