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Mystical Powers of Juggling

Jariel

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Contrary to popular belief, not all women are villains who abuse guys for their own amusement. They are just emotional and erratic beings who let their hearts control their decisions and don’t always know what they want. They say they want a charming and classy guy who will treat them like a princess, yet they spend days obsessing over repulsive losers who treat them badly. One day they’re calling you every other hour and telling you how special you are, the next day they act like you don’t exist. It’s nothing personal - it’s just their nature.

Unfortunately for us men, this is hard to understand. We see things in more logical terms: you like someone or you don’t. Black or white. Even more unfortunate is that decent guys get hurt by the indecisiveness of women. When a woman turns cold, many of us look for a logical cause and end up making the situation worse for ourselves by treating it as a problem that needs to be fixed…because that is our nature.

You must stop expecting women to behave rationally or “fairly” and just prepare for the day they stop returning your calls. The best way to do this, in my experience, is to keep your options open.

Take a look at all the successful players and seducers. Do you think they pin all their hopes on one woman and sit at home waiting for her to call? Of course not. Even if there is one special lady they are pursuing, they always have a contingency plan. That is the key to their success.


The Player Mentality

Just like we do, a woman will get confused when a guy is attentive one minute and distant the next. She will feel on edge when a guy forgets to call, takes his time replying to her texts or when he’s too busy to see her. She will get frustrated when he ignores her games and walks away from her tantrums. A beautiful woman will find it perplexing if a guy can be cool and carefree around her while other guys put her on a pedestal and kiss her a$$. Women find such men unpredictable, mysterious and challenging, and these are the building blocks of attraction.

Of course, you can try to fake this behaviour, hold back your desperation, pretend to be cool and act indifferent, but such a façade is based on rehearsed lines and tricks, and most people can see right through it. It is much better if it happens naturally.

One way to develop this behaviour in an authentic way is to adopt the player mentality. Keep talking to women, flirting, getting phone numbers, making dates and building prospects. Never forget that until you are in a commited relationship, the game is still on.

When you start juggling prospects you soon realise you don’t need any of them. If one woman isn’t answering her phone, call another. If one flakes out on a date, make a date with another. If one turns cold or starts playing mind games, focus on someone else for a while. The odds are good that she’ll come crawling back sooner or later. What’s more, you will find yourself caring less about saying the “wrong” thing and will feel more confident speaking your mind and being yourself. Afterall, if you scare her away you just move onto the next prospect. Every time you talk, flirt, date or even fail with one of these women you gain valuable first hand experience, allowing you to hone your conversation and seduction skills. You will also find rejection becomes easier to deal with, so approaching women will start to feel less daunting. You’ll soon find that you’re the one in control and that your value keeps rising.

Nice guys don’t believe in playing the field. They consider it “immoral” and dishonest and worry about hurting a girl’s feelings. But we all know what happens to nice guys don’t we?

If this seems wrong to you then it’s time to wake up and stop being so naïve. Women have guys hitting on them, texting, calling and asking them out all the time. Do you really think you’re the only guy she talks to? Do you honestly think that she stops finding other guys attractive just because you’ve been on a date or two? You better believe that she’s keeping her options open and if you don’t measure up she’ll be kicking you aside and moving onto the next.

Is it wrong then for us to do the same thing?



Winning back her heart

A lot of guys (myself included) come to forums like this seeking help with one girl in particular - a girl who is not like the others, who is really special and who was really interested, but has since gone cold for some reason they can’t understand…or so the story goes. They want someone to reassure them that it’s not a lost cause, to tell them a magical phrase or technique to win her attention back. They usually get their answer and it’s always the same: “Start seeing other women”.

These guys don’t like this answer, however, and are convinced there is another way. What they fail to consider is that most of us have been in that same predicament at some point and our advice comes from experience. Not only will seeing other women help you to move on and break your infatuation, it is your best shot at winning back the interest of a lost love.



Invisible Attraction

There is another, somewhat mysterious effect of juggling prospects that makes you even more alluring to women. Have you ever noticed how you get more female attention when you are in a relationship or you’re unavailable? Well, the same thing happens when you have multiple prospects.

It’s as if women can sense when a man doesn’t need them and, for some reason, that makes him irresistable. Maybe it’s a confidence thing, reflected in our body language, such as standing taller, smiling more, or maybe it’s some subliminal vibe we give off. It makes little sense, but remember, women are not motivated by logical thought processes.

Playing the field has a snowball effect. As you gain momentum, the prospects will just keep building and building, as will your confidence and your ability to handle women.



How to build your prospects

It really doesn’t matter if you get a girl’s number from a cold approach, a friend of a friend or whether you’re just exchanging emails over Facebook or Myspace. As long as you are talking and flirting with women, you are in the game and you have prospects to work with.

Not all of them will end up wanting to date or have sex with you, you will certainly come across rejections along the way, but that’s one of the benefits of expanding your options.

At no point should you stop and think that you have enough prospects. You don’t have to see every one of them or even call every one of them on a regular basis, but if you take their details, you can keep them on the backburner for a rainy day. And you never know, that next girl might end up proving herself to be the best of the bunch.
 

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Jariel

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Personal Experience

5 years ago I was an active member of this forum and with a lot of help from my DJ friends, mine was a real success story. Among many lessons, I had learned the importance of keeping my options open and not getting too attached to one prospect. At that particular time there were 4 girls I was seeing on a regular basis. It just so happened that one of these girls went on to become my girlfriend for the next 5 years.

That relationship came to an end and earlier this year and I found myself back in the dating game. My confidence had taken a beating during my break up, but after a brief time out I started looking up female acquaintances and sending icebreakers out to attractive single ladies on Facebook. I started going out with friends and made a point of talking to girls. I got rejected, I got ignored, I even had a date walk out on me, but what mattered most was getting back into my game mindset and building prospects.

Gradually, I started getting more numbers. My phone started filling with texts and ringing regularly, and I started arranging dates. In some cases I got lucky, but I got the dreaded LJBF from a girl who was struggling with her recent break up, a girl who went cold and just stopped calling, lots of mindgames, and had a woman cancel a date on me at the last minute. The great thing was, it was no big deal to me. Though mildly disappointed, I just shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention to other women.

A few days later the latter of these women emailed me to apologise for cancelling our date, then called me to offer alternative days she could meet. I gave her another chance and she turned out to be really cool. We have been seeing each other on a weekly basis since. While out shopping the other day, I ran into the girl who went cold on me. I said hi to her, but kept moving. The next day she began calling me again and wants to see me. Miss LJBF also came crawling back, started flirting shamelessly with me, tried to initiate phonesex and asked me out. I continue to keep a bit of distance, however, but the more I back off the more she chases and has even offered to fulfill one of my sexual fantasies when we next meet up.

There are others too, including two women I see as potential relationship material. It is difficult keeping track of all the texts and emails I’m getting and I have to ignore some calls too. To be honest, there are times when I just want my own space to do my own thing and forget about women altogether. Without actually planning it or using any kind of games, I realise that I’m making myself scarce and increasing my value in the process. There is no neediness on my part and I feel confident talking to these women, flirting and raising the stakes without worrying about causing offence. I used to fear coming on too strong, that somehow it would scare them off, but I’ve suggested coming back to my place to a few of these women, even after one date, and not been turned down yet. And what’s the worst that could happen anyway? In the unlikely event they are outraged and reject me, I just move on.

Perhaps I sound like a jerk, but that’s not how I’ve been treating these women. On the contrary. I compliment them, tell them how much I enjoy our conversations and let each of them feel as if they are the only woman in my world. This might sound like textbook AFC behaviour, but when you back it up with confidence, unpredictability and some suggestive sex talk, you have a formula that drives their emotions wild. In fact, most of these women seem to have developed a deep connection with me - they say I understand them better than most guys. Yet, at the same time, I’m getting them aroused and putting a healthy distance between me and the friend zone.

Meanwhile, I seem to be exuding some mystical allure. I’ve started noticing more eye contact directed my way, more smiles and more attention from women I work with. They’ve been flirting with me, complimenting me, and one woman even came out and confessed that she has feelings for me. A few days ago my friend and I were at a petrol station and saw this 6ft blonde who looked like she’d just come off a catwalk. She came over and asked me directions. I made a few little quips and she laughed politely, I told her what she needed to know and left it there. My friend told me he’d seen her look me up and down and pointed out how she looked directly at me and was playing with her hair a lot. I decided to go talk to her again, making up something about a better route to avoid traffic. I asked her where she was from, teased her about having a foreign accent (despite coming from a neighbouring town) and asked if she went on nights out nearby. She told me of a local club she was going to Friday and suggested that I should come along and that I seem like a guy worth getting to know. I should’ve got her number, but I didn’t. It may be a missed opportunity as I won’t be able to make that club Friday night, but it’s not the end of the world.

On the whole, I have found that my experience of building prospects has helped me develop more confidence with women and is a natural way to defeat the inner AFC. Issues such as when to call, how to ask her out, when to kiss and even rejection aren’t even issues now. So get out there and start juggling your prospects.
 

falcon814

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Great read!

I can vouch for the confidence sky rocketing when you have multiple plates at the same time.
 

Ease

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Props.

My relationship is on the decline right now and the prospect of being back in the game is looming. I hit a point of about a month ago where i completely gave up on game and got very lazy. I would be leaving my gf in 5 months to move away, so i didnt care about the progress of the LTR. Untill it actually hit me and she started showing major signs of interest level decline. One of the biggest factors that drove me down was my subconcious dependancy for my gf. I havent had any new options in months, and my last side option fizzled out months ago. I took for granted the importance of having options and subconcious super-effect it has on game. Probably a big lesson for me, one of the biggest things for LTR maintanance is keeping other side options running.
 
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Czar

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I can imagine this post becoming like a part of me, things like this should be second nature
 

Jariel

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smoofle said:
how does juggling work if you're in a relationship?
If you're in an established and trusting relationship, then you really shouldn't be dating other women. That's not fair to your gf and if she found out it would ruin everything.

BUT, even when you're in a relationship you should stay in touch with women, continue being a flirt and keep your head in the game mentality. Complacency is a DJs worst enemy and it pays to keep your skills sharp.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

Jariel

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Another update....

I started seeing "the girl of my dreams" about 6 months ago after she left her boyfriend for me. All was going great, her interest has been high and we always had fun together. However, as Christmas approached I sensed some distance growing between us and I knew her ex had been in contact. She assured me she wasn't interested in getting back with him, but admitted her head was all over the place.

I did what I knew I must: I suggested we take a break over Christmas and I gave her space. We barely had any contact and I confess I woke every morning feeling depressed. After a couple of weeks, I decided to hell with it and went out, started getting girl's numbers, I went on a few dates, started chatting up hot women on Facebook and building prospects.

As if by magic, girls from my past start contacting me (maybe the xmas period has something to do with it) and the female attention started to grow. I was starting to accept that I will be moving on and was feeling good about it. Then yesterday the girl I was on a break with contacted me, apologised for being cool with me, explained herself and asked if we could pick up where we left off.

The strange thing is, I was head over heels for this girl until a month ago, gutted that I might lose her, now I have options I feel more sense of power and might just keep things casual with her.

It's not easy moving on after a break up or rejection, but the sooner you go out there and build prospects, the sooner you will regain your power and your options, and you may even get the girl back.
 

tyciol

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For some reason I thought by the title this would actually be about balls :) In a way, I guess it is. Enjoyed reading this, some sensible points made.
 

gaspipe

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Very good read Jariel. Its pretty much in line with my own experiences.
 
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