What is more effective in your opinion...adding a bunch of chicks? or sending out your spam message to a bunch of chicks? Of course if you just add, you are going to have to go back and message, but you've filtered out some already.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Myspace: add them or message them?
- Thread starter Zero Hero
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,620
- Reaction score
- 186
- Age
- 47
It's more effective to meet chicks in real life. MySpace, due to its popularity, is probably even HARDER to meet chicks on these days than real-life. I know girls who have signed up for Myspace and decided to cancel their accounts a week later because of the mess of unsolicited and downright vulgar come-ons from guys. It's like a nightclub that "word got out" about...and it's murderous work to break down a b!tch shield over E-mail...women have the upper hand.Zero Hero said:
Personally, I don't add anyone I haven't talked to. Most girls just want to run up their friend counts anyway. I don't know why...that's just one of the ways chicks are dumb. You're going to have a hard time displaying value over 1000s of messages to chicks who are still unsure whether they want to date someone from the Internet.
A friend of mine says he actually has better success just randomly searching for girls on YIM and sending them messages than he does on MySpace.
I'd say if you wanna pull on MySpace, put up your best pics and be honest...there's no C&F line or fancy BS you can pull that she hasn't gotten before. Just say "hi"...if she thinks you're hot enough to respond to, then run your routine like you normally would.
Or just sell yourself via your profile...update it every so often so it bumps you up to the top of the search lists. You'll get hits here and there.
In the meantime, BALLS to MySpace. Go out and meet real women.
well, it helps first to message them. if u add them, they will add u, but they most likely wont talk to u. people, and im guilty of this too, add anyone nowadays. they dont have to know u, they jus click accept. if u message them first, if they wanna talk to u, they reply back. message them first, then add later.
drmeathead
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2004
- Messages
- 490
- Reaction score
- 6
- Age
- 48
just get rid of myspace once you get a girl. it will save you a **** load of hassle
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
I've never had any problem with myspace and talking with girls, infact it can be too easy to get close with women on there at times. Many of my friends to have met people through myspace, dated, got into relationships, one night stands, made friends that lead to meeting more people and great times... so after all this i can not understand why so many people here have a problem with it.
Personally though, i'd keep myspace due to the fact it's a great place to keep intouch with those you know for when your not in town. And perhaps meeting new people. I wouldn't rely on it to pick up women, but i'd rely on it to be one in many ways to keep intouch with friends.
As for message or adding, i always message. Why add someone you don't know?
Personally though, i'd keep myspace due to the fact it's a great place to keep intouch with those you know for when your not in town. And perhaps meeting new people. I wouldn't rely on it to pick up women, but i'd rely on it to be one in many ways to keep intouch with friends.
As for message or adding, i always message. Why add someone you don't know?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
md3sign
Senior Don Juan
K I'm just gonna bump this up real quick, maybe get another perspective, but here's my experience.
Like lost said your pic/pics are your most important asset. Either you're hot enough to talk to, or you're not. Doesn't seem like it matters what you do first, if you look good to them they'll talk back to you.
Case in point:
When I first got my new profile around May I had 1 pic up .. it was around the time I started bodybuilding. Now I have about 10+, a lot showing progression, but the "main" ones just me posing for the cam half naked. Hey that's what bodybuilders do
I haven't randomly messaged a mass number of girls in about 2 months. The last time I did it I just had my old progress pics, fully clothed. Out of 30-40 emails I would get maybe 3-4 replies, and only met 1 girl in person (which went quite well might I add, but I decided not to get into a relationship with her).
Now, just last night I was bored and feeling extra good so I said f it why not. I sent out about 15 messages. I can't check myspace here at work, but according to my email client I have 9 messages waiting for me. And this is in less than 24 hours. Most of them were just cut & paste "hey what's up, let's chat".
I still think it helps if you mention something personal though. When I was browsing last night I was looking at this girl's pics and saw one of her in the Smokey's. I was there this past spring so I brought it up in the message and asked her how she liked it. 30 minutes later I get a somewhat lengthy reply, at the end of which she's asking me what else I like to do, that she went to a BB show once, etc etc.
So far my opinion is that your photo is the #1 seller, so hit those weights!
Also you have to "seem" popular I think and "pay your dues". With a bunch of "friends" and 200+ comments and a decent amount of comments on pics, you have some social proof - as stupid as that sounds when talking about cyberspace. Or maybe you just don't seem creepy.
To answer your question, I would message first then add later maybe, or accept if she adds you. Unless you just want a bunch of random chicks as your "friends" (I think it's good to have a few).
I could be wrong about all this
edit - I just read some other threads. I realize the hatred for myspace nonesense on this site. We can leave it be, just thought I'd share.
Like lost said your pic/pics are your most important asset. Either you're hot enough to talk to, or you're not. Doesn't seem like it matters what you do first, if you look good to them they'll talk back to you.
Case in point:
When I first got my new profile around May I had 1 pic up .. it was around the time I started bodybuilding. Now I have about 10+, a lot showing progression, but the "main" ones just me posing for the cam half naked. Hey that's what bodybuilders do
I haven't randomly messaged a mass number of girls in about 2 months. The last time I did it I just had my old progress pics, fully clothed. Out of 30-40 emails I would get maybe 3-4 replies, and only met 1 girl in person (which went quite well might I add, but I decided not to get into a relationship with her).
Now, just last night I was bored and feeling extra good so I said f it why not. I sent out about 15 messages. I can't check myspace here at work, but according to my email client I have 9 messages waiting for me. And this is in less than 24 hours. Most of them were just cut & paste "hey what's up, let's chat".
I still think it helps if you mention something personal though. When I was browsing last night I was looking at this girl's pics and saw one of her in the Smokey's. I was there this past spring so I brought it up in the message and asked her how she liked it. 30 minutes later I get a somewhat lengthy reply, at the end of which she's asking me what else I like to do, that she went to a BB show once, etc etc.
So far my opinion is that your photo is the #1 seller, so hit those weights!
Also you have to "seem" popular I think and "pay your dues". With a bunch of "friends" and 200+ comments and a decent amount of comments on pics, you have some social proof - as stupid as that sounds when talking about cyberspace. Or maybe you just don't seem creepy.
To answer your question, I would message first then add later maybe, or accept if she adds you. Unless you just want a bunch of random chicks as your "friends" (I think it's good to have a few).
I could be wrong about all this
edit - I just read some other threads. I realize the hatred for myspace nonesense on this site. We can leave it be, just thought I'd share.
specialed
Don Juan
gj m3...see you read some of my email
keep going buddy!
keep going buddy!
Myspace is a very effective way of meeting girls. As in real life, most of what's out there is not quality, but if quality were so common then we wouldn't be on the internet talking about how to tag quality chicks now would we?
I do neither of what you asked about, and here's why:
1. adding a chick to your friend list makes you look desperate for attention, and shy. You come across as a meek little internet fella looking for approval from a girl. Not only that, the only type of girls that will add you without having ever uttered a word in your direction are the type that add EVERYONE, like its some sort of game. Most quality girls won't add you to their friendlist if they don't know you. Therefore, this move is ineffective.
2. I never spam. Spamming again makes it look like you have NOTHING BETTER TO DO, and are therefore asking EVERYONE AT ONCE if someone can keep you company because otherwise you'd be alone on the internet all night as per usual. It's like advertising that you're a loser.
What I do is individual messages. Short but sweet. Doesn't even have to mean anything, as long as its not frank supplication. If you don't look like some sort of freak then you will get a reply.
I've met many girls on myspace: most were not what I would call dating quality(because of their personality), but strangely enough the best girl I have ever dated I met on myspace as well.
Personally I keep my friend list relegated to my actual friends.
Those who dismiss myspace, or the internet in general, as an ineffective way to meet girls are probably angry that they couldn't do it effectively.
I do neither of what you asked about, and here's why:
1. adding a chick to your friend list makes you look desperate for attention, and shy. You come across as a meek little internet fella looking for approval from a girl. Not only that, the only type of girls that will add you without having ever uttered a word in your direction are the type that add EVERYONE, like its some sort of game. Most quality girls won't add you to their friendlist if they don't know you. Therefore, this move is ineffective.
2. I never spam. Spamming again makes it look like you have NOTHING BETTER TO DO, and are therefore asking EVERYONE AT ONCE if someone can keep you company because otherwise you'd be alone on the internet all night as per usual. It's like advertising that you're a loser.
What I do is individual messages. Short but sweet. Doesn't even have to mean anything, as long as its not frank supplication. If you don't look like some sort of freak then you will get a reply.
I've met many girls on myspace: most were not what I would call dating quality(because of their personality), but strangely enough the best girl I have ever dated I met on myspace as well.
Personally I keep my friend list relegated to my actual friends.
Those who dismiss myspace, or the internet in general, as an ineffective way to meet girls are probably angry that they couldn't do it effectively.