This is a post I made in the mature man forum and I figured I'd post it here as well. My view is that there are two camps: men who think if the girl is not a perfect princess from the get-go, then she should be immediately disqualified, and men who realize that women use nature-made strategies to separate a man she should invest in, from a man she should forget. Feel free to agree or not.
Look---all of us accept that women are never wrong, everything they do is completely justified and serves a larger purpose. They can do whatever the hell they want to us men and STILL be kind, sensitive, feminine women. Or I should say, we accept that this is how a woman views herself in the world.
Women DO test. They DO push your buttons. They DO try to see what you are made of.
Some guys are saying that the girl should just be sweet and nice off the bat, otherwise.... she's a bytch. What they don't realize is that they are not really interacting with the REAL girl. They are interacting with a defensive, false self she has constructed to PROTECT her real self from being burned by AFCs and phony macho men (AFCs in reverse) who THEMSELVES approach her--AS PHONIES!
If it is her expectation that the majority of men who approach her are going to be artificial and "not themselves".... then she will likewise create a false self that can deal with THEIR false self. The real girl inside is thus protected from wasting her emotional investment on a dead end.
How is she to know if you are the real deal if she doesn't find ways to pierce your armor? If you're like most men she meets, your confident exterior that is supposed to unlock her femininity is AN ACT.
How many women do you know that are OVERT about what they want or need from a man? No. It's all covert. They say what they want to say by saying something other than what they are intending to say. They act in the opposite way of how they feel, on purpose. All to see what you will do.
When you are STRONG--when you maintain your frame, and either laugh the test off or wisely, (and in a conscious, deliberate manner) withdraw your affection and attention (not respect)--- you can see the woman completely change her ways and ENTER YOUR FRAME.
While we should never make excuses or rationalize poor behavior from a woman, I think it's unrealistic to think that women are going to be upfront and direct in the way a man would. If they find a weakness in you, they WILL exploit it until they see that you cannot be exploited. And then, they have their answer. Your frame is dominant. She tried to pierce your armor, she failed, she enters your frame, which is exactly what she wanted to happen in the first place. She WANTS you to blow her tests out of the water.
The entire point is to destroy these artificial barriers she places between her real, authentic, feminine self, and all the other AFCs and phonies who are attempting to access the real person inside. If you can't break these walls down, you will never see the real her. Only the men who know what they're doing get that far.
Women are testing. This is how it is. It's not pretty, and in a perfect world it wouldn't happen... but human nature is not pretty and it's not perfect.
To expect a woman to not weed out men by her tests is to expect human nature to be something that it isn't. To me saying women who are quality should not test is to give yourself comfort while you bail out, thinking it's getting a little too hot in the kitchen.
Look---all of us accept that women are never wrong, everything they do is completely justified and serves a larger purpose. They can do whatever the hell they want to us men and STILL be kind, sensitive, feminine women. Or I should say, we accept that this is how a woman views herself in the world.
Women DO test. They DO push your buttons. They DO try to see what you are made of.
Some guys are saying that the girl should just be sweet and nice off the bat, otherwise.... she's a bytch. What they don't realize is that they are not really interacting with the REAL girl. They are interacting with a defensive, false self she has constructed to PROTECT her real self from being burned by AFCs and phony macho men (AFCs in reverse) who THEMSELVES approach her--AS PHONIES!
If it is her expectation that the majority of men who approach her are going to be artificial and "not themselves".... then she will likewise create a false self that can deal with THEIR false self. The real girl inside is thus protected from wasting her emotional investment on a dead end.
How is she to know if you are the real deal if she doesn't find ways to pierce your armor? If you're like most men she meets, your confident exterior that is supposed to unlock her femininity is AN ACT.
How many women do you know that are OVERT about what they want or need from a man? No. It's all covert. They say what they want to say by saying something other than what they are intending to say. They act in the opposite way of how they feel, on purpose. All to see what you will do.
When you are STRONG--when you maintain your frame, and either laugh the test off or wisely, (and in a conscious, deliberate manner) withdraw your affection and attention (not respect)--- you can see the woman completely change her ways and ENTER YOUR FRAME.
While we should never make excuses or rationalize poor behavior from a woman, I think it's unrealistic to think that women are going to be upfront and direct in the way a man would. If they find a weakness in you, they WILL exploit it until they see that you cannot be exploited. And then, they have their answer. Your frame is dominant. She tried to pierce your armor, she failed, she enters your frame, which is exactly what she wanted to happen in the first place. She WANTS you to blow her tests out of the water.
The entire point is to destroy these artificial barriers she places between her real, authentic, feminine self, and all the other AFCs and phonies who are attempting to access the real person inside. If you can't break these walls down, you will never see the real her. Only the men who know what they're doing get that far.
Women are testing. This is how it is. It's not pretty, and in a perfect world it wouldn't happen... but human nature is not pretty and it's not perfect.
To expect a woman to not weed out men by her tests is to expect human nature to be something that it isn't. To me saying women who are quality should not test is to give yourself comfort while you bail out, thinking it's getting a little too hot in the kitchen.
