"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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my valentines day AFC mistake.

sapphire

Senior Don Juan
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Sorry dude. But her cranky and bytchy behavior means that you interrupted some intimate moment she was having with some guy the night you decided to invite yourself to her place.

Yes it was AFC, but take it as a valuable learning experience and as the others said just move on.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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squirrels

Master Don Juan
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Dude....

You were BANGING ON HER F**KING WINDOW!!

She worked a double-shift at work, had her phone off so she wouldn't be disturbed, the lights were out, the door was locked...

and you were BANGING ON HER F**KING WINDOW!!

You are a CREEP!

Don't EVER go to a girl's house unannounced unless you're officially dating her and you KNOW she'll be cool with it.

Don't EVER go to a girl's house on Valentine's Day if she doesn't know you're coming.

And don't EVER bang on someone's window when the lights are out and they're not answering the door.

If she WASN'T getting d!cked by some other dude that night, she probably will be NOW, after you made yourself look like a lunatic.
 

Chemistry

Master Don Juan
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You shoulda picked her locks or climbed in through an open window...

Snuck into her room and quietly shook her to wake her up...

She might not have minded as much then, lol...
 
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