"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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My ultimate question to the "successful" ones:

floydb25

Master Don Juan
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Just based on what you said...

Lose the entitlement attitude. Nobody owes you anything. Successful people put themselves out there, assert themselves, and make things happen. You can't expect for everything to come to you. It takes hard work and effort. Even for friendships - you can't remain passive, hang out a few times, accept their invitations, etc - then complain that you have no friends. Dedication is required.

Take yourself off the pedestal. How you view yourself isn't how everyone else views you. If you were everything you claim to be - you wouldn't have so many problems. There's no such thing as being too good - that's not why you fail. It's because you aren't as good as you think you are.

This is a common problem with people. They whine about all these people getting with "losers" - when they're so great and wonderful and overlooked. So, they conclude that they're too good, and people are just intimidated, or looking for something worse. Truth is, they're not as great as they think they are. That's why they're overlooked.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. This isn't a competition - its about personal success. Who cares what anyone else has, or is doing? Don't focus on other people - only yourself.

This applies to stories you read about other people. Just because they fail - doesn't mean you will. Do not compare yourself to them. You can do the same things they are doing, and still succeed. There isn't some rulebook you have to follow - where x and y works for EVERYONE, and r and s works for NOBODY. Everything is different for everyone.

Which might be your problem - trying too hard to fit into this ideal person - while losing yourself in the process. Are you coming off as too fake and shallow? Playing everything by the book? Not being genuine? This only works on fake and shallow women.

Eliminate the desperation. I can see it from your post. Chances are, women see it too. It doesn't matter if you THINK you're not coming off as desperate - because you probably are. This isn't something you can fake - it WILL show. The only cure is to not be desperate. Same for being insecure, weak, etc. You have to not be these things - not just act like you aren't.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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mustfirstregister

Master Don Juan
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what car do you drive and what brand appearal/shoes do you dress?
how tall are you? are you bald? or you muscular?
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
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floydb25 said:
Just based on what you said...

Lose the entitlement attitude. Nobody owes you anything. Successful people put themselves out there, assert themselves, and make things happen. You can't expect for everything to come to you. It takes hard work and effort. Even for friendships - you can't remain passive, hang out a few times, accept their invitations, etc - then complain that you have no friends. Dedication is required.

Take yourself off the pedestal. How you view yourself isn't how everyone else views you. If you were everything you claim to be - you wouldn't have so many problems. There's no such thing as being too good - that's not why you fail. It's because you aren't as good as you think you are.

This is a common problem with people. They whine about all these people getting with "losers" - when they're so great and wonderful and overlooked. So, they conclude that they're too good, and people are just intimidated, or looking for something worse. Truth is, they're not as great as they think they are. That's why they're overlooked.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. This isn't a competition - its about personal success. Who cares what anyone else has, or is doing? Don't focus on other people - only yourself.

This applies to stories you read about other people. Just because they fail - doesn't mean you will. Do not compare yourself to them. You can do the same things they are doing, and still succeed. There isn't some rulebook you have to follow - where x and y works for EVERYONE, and r and s works for NOBODY. Everything is different for everyone.

Which might be your problem - trying too hard to fit into this ideal person - while losing yourself in the process. Are you coming off as too fake and shallow? Playing everything by the book? Not being genuine? This only works on fake and shallow women.

Eliminate the desperation. I can see it from your post. Chances are, women see it too. It doesn't matter if you THINK you're not coming off as desperate - because you probably are. This isn't something you can fake - it WILL show. The only cure is to not be desperate. Same for being insecure, weak, etc. You have to not be these things - not just act like you aren't.
great post and spot on
 
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