Flabbergasped?
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 14, 2005
- Messages
- 539
- Reaction score
- 12
Before I start, I'd like to disclaim that I will be making some broad statements. Take them at face value. They are backed by scientific research (I'm a psych major) and I have an exam on many of these findings in a week. I'm not going to include sources in APA format because I'm not a tool and don't need a reference section for a forum post.
A couple of findings:
-Attractive people are seen as more successful, intelligent, hard-working, and socially polished. This is called the physical-attractiveness stereotype. It pretty much means that what is beautiful is good.
-In an experiment where incoming college freshmen were paired up with dates for a dance, took aptitude and personality tests before the exam, and rated their dates on likability, whether they wanted to see them again, etc., the only reliable determinant of "second dates" was physical attractiveness (as previously rated by the experimenter)
-Warm and friendly people are seen as more attractive.
-Facial physical attractiveness matters less as time goes on in a relationship (to quote the experiment, "blemishes disappear").
*Important*- Passionate love is defined as "biological arousal brought on by an attractive mate." It's pretty much when you want to bone someone, so your heart races, pupils dilate, etc. Another concept is the two-factor theory of emotions, pretty much, it means that all emotions are essentially the same physiologically. The only difference is the label that is applied. In other words, if you are physiologically aroused (with drugs or w/e), and someone gets in your face, you will be angry. If instead, they give you compliments, you will be very happy.
-According to the matching phenomenon, people choose partners that are closer (or not too far ahead) in physical attractiveness than they are.
What does this imply?
1) MM describes interactions in three stages. Attraction-comfort-sex, I think. Well, notice that everything above describes attraction. Looks are a way to build attraction. So is arousal, warmth, friendliness, money, status, etc. The one advantage looks have other the rest is that they make a great <i>first impression</i>, especially after the physical-attractiveness stereotype kicks in. Sure, people can infer that you are friendly because of your smile, but the first thing they acknowledge (it's a near-instataneous process, it takes about two-tenths of a second to make an impression at face value) is general appearance. Character traits come later.
2) Good looks do not substitute for personality. It just means that, all things held constant, you will be seen as more attractive/desirable if you are better looking. Real-world examples abound, I know a rich, handsome dude who gets no action because he's really shy, reserved, and lazy.
3) Notice the blurb about arousal. It's what Mystery talks about with buying temperature, and all this "strike while the iron is hot." If the chick is aroused (presumably because of some emotional reaction you brought about with your DHV story lol), but HAS NO LABEL to attribute it to, she will find one, i.e. you. That's where personality, routines, stories, negs, C&F, etc., come in. In the absense of all of the above and good ol' conversation, there is little to create attraction except for looks, money, status, etc.
3a) Therefore, looks are supremely important when you have NO GAME, because they provide the attractiveness that you otherwise display through DJ skills. There is no less honor in using looks to get poon; it's just another way of building attraction, the same way money, status, techniques, a big cawk, and more can work. However, if all other things are held constant (same income, fame, level of DJ game, etc.), someone who's better looking will be more attractive.
What to take away from this post:
1) If you are "ugly", personality, money, game, and any number of factors will create the attraction that looks could have otherwise provided. You are not screwed because you aren't good-looking. If you are not having success, work on your game.
2) Remember that looks aren't set in stone, the way height is (and then again, you can surgically change your height). I'm not talking about plastic surgery. A big part of looks involves the body, not just the face. For example, a waist/hip ratio of .7 is ideal and is considered when men judge attractiveness. Women can alter that depending on how they lose weight. Similarly, musculature, grooming, body language, and more can be altered. If you would fvck a butterface (tip-drill, whatever they're called, girls with smoking bodies but ugly faces), then presume women would do the same. Get a nice bod and use that.
3) Looks (especially in the face, which is the hardest to physically improve) matter less when in a LTR. In fact, it's really only a big deal when you're first meeting and courting a girl. Afterwards, its importance diminishes. On the flipside, looks would be more important if you have lots of ONS, since you'd be going through first-impression/short-term stints a lot more. Of course, that is because they build attraction. Being stanking-rich would get you lots of ONS. So would having game. However, unlike wealth or personality, looks diminish in importance with time.
4) The matching phenom suggests that there is a point at which having horrendous looks cannot be overcome. If you are deformed, very fugly, or just too unkempt (you look like Chewbacca), it will be hard. However, few of us are in such bad shape.
Final conclusion:
Looks matter, but a lot less than you'd think. And it's no surprise: it's easier to see a hot dude pull girls (all you need to do is look in their directions), whereas you can't do the same with money or game. Therefore, you see looks as a contributing factor more often, and assume it is the most important. It's not.
I'm still worried about my looks though :crazy:
A couple of findings:
-Attractive people are seen as more successful, intelligent, hard-working, and socially polished. This is called the physical-attractiveness stereotype. It pretty much means that what is beautiful is good.
-In an experiment where incoming college freshmen were paired up with dates for a dance, took aptitude and personality tests before the exam, and rated their dates on likability, whether they wanted to see them again, etc., the only reliable determinant of "second dates" was physical attractiveness (as previously rated by the experimenter)
-Warm and friendly people are seen as more attractive.
-Facial physical attractiveness matters less as time goes on in a relationship (to quote the experiment, "blemishes disappear").
*Important*- Passionate love is defined as "biological arousal brought on by an attractive mate." It's pretty much when you want to bone someone, so your heart races, pupils dilate, etc. Another concept is the two-factor theory of emotions, pretty much, it means that all emotions are essentially the same physiologically. The only difference is the label that is applied. In other words, if you are physiologically aroused (with drugs or w/e), and someone gets in your face, you will be angry. If instead, they give you compliments, you will be very happy.
-According to the matching phenomenon, people choose partners that are closer (or not too far ahead) in physical attractiveness than they are.
What does this imply?
1) MM describes interactions in three stages. Attraction-comfort-sex, I think. Well, notice that everything above describes attraction. Looks are a way to build attraction. So is arousal, warmth, friendliness, money, status, etc. The one advantage looks have other the rest is that they make a great <i>first impression</i>, especially after the physical-attractiveness stereotype kicks in. Sure, people can infer that you are friendly because of your smile, but the first thing they acknowledge (it's a near-instataneous process, it takes about two-tenths of a second to make an impression at face value) is general appearance. Character traits come later.
2) Good looks do not substitute for personality. It just means that, all things held constant, you will be seen as more attractive/desirable if you are better looking. Real-world examples abound, I know a rich, handsome dude who gets no action because he's really shy, reserved, and lazy.
3) Notice the blurb about arousal. It's what Mystery talks about with buying temperature, and all this "strike while the iron is hot." If the chick is aroused (presumably because of some emotional reaction you brought about with your DHV story lol), but HAS NO LABEL to attribute it to, she will find one, i.e. you. That's where personality, routines, stories, negs, C&F, etc., come in. In the absense of all of the above and good ol' conversation, there is little to create attraction except for looks, money, status, etc.
3a) Therefore, looks are supremely important when you have NO GAME, because they provide the attractiveness that you otherwise display through DJ skills. There is no less honor in using looks to get poon; it's just another way of building attraction, the same way money, status, techniques, a big cawk, and more can work. However, if all other things are held constant (same income, fame, level of DJ game, etc.), someone who's better looking will be more attractive.
What to take away from this post:
1) If you are "ugly", personality, money, game, and any number of factors will create the attraction that looks could have otherwise provided. You are not screwed because you aren't good-looking. If you are not having success, work on your game.
2) Remember that looks aren't set in stone, the way height is (and then again, you can surgically change your height). I'm not talking about plastic surgery. A big part of looks involves the body, not just the face. For example, a waist/hip ratio of .7 is ideal and is considered when men judge attractiveness. Women can alter that depending on how they lose weight. Similarly, musculature, grooming, body language, and more can be altered. If you would fvck a butterface (tip-drill, whatever they're called, girls with smoking bodies but ugly faces), then presume women would do the same. Get a nice bod and use that.
3) Looks (especially in the face, which is the hardest to physically improve) matter less when in a LTR. In fact, it's really only a big deal when you're first meeting and courting a girl. Afterwards, its importance diminishes. On the flipside, looks would be more important if you have lots of ONS, since you'd be going through first-impression/short-term stints a lot more. Of course, that is because they build attraction. Being stanking-rich would get you lots of ONS. So would having game. However, unlike wealth or personality, looks diminish in importance with time.
4) The matching phenom suggests that there is a point at which having horrendous looks cannot be overcome. If you are deformed, very fugly, or just too unkempt (you look like Chewbacca), it will be hard. However, few of us are in such bad shape.
Final conclusion:
Looks matter, but a lot less than you'd think. And it's no surprise: it's easier to see a hot dude pull girls (all you need to do is look in their directions), whereas you can't do the same with money or game. Therefore, you see looks as a contributing factor more often, and assume it is the most important. It's not.
I'm still worried about my looks though :crazy: