"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

My Thoughts on Social Proof

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

M

Mr. Fingers

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HAHA! I just love the fact that my social proof thread has received no replies..
:D
the irony of this is just cracking me up!

*sigh* this is a sure sign that I need to get out tonight. Time to get my mack on. Catch you crazy fools later.

Mr. F
 
S

stallion

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Well, I thought you posted the same stuff in your other thread which I ENJOYED thoroughly.

So isn't that the reason why?
 
M

Mr. Fingers

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Yeah, you are right. I was hoping to spark up a discussion about this on a seperate thread. I am beginning to think I should have posted into the tips section. Ah well, live and learn. Sheeit, at least I got one response though, LOL

glad you enjoyed the post!

:)
 
D

Duke

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Hey! Sorry for the lapse, man! Thanks for taking the time and putting in the effort to lay it all out. I see what you're saying about everything being intertwined. A mack-daddy stew as you say.

I'd like to narrow it down a little more, though. How do I 'earn' social proof with crowds that are influential but I don't particularly like? I want to be that guy who walks into a party and EVERYBODY says "Hey, Duke, what's up ma main man?"

But instead, it's more like I walk over and greet my 5 or so close friends and then get around to different individuals throughout the party.

There are some people I just don't talk to on a regular basis, and it would be awkward for me to say hi after 3 or 4 months of silence. I suppose the problem is that my image is low-key. I'm not loud or obnoxious--I'll say hi and make smalltalk if someone greets me, and I'll initiate the "Hi" with people I like, but I don't go out of my way to tell everyone "Hi." Should I be? Even if I don't like them? Just for the social proof?

How about earning social proof from girls you don't know, but you aren't romantically interested in? Is there some simple set of methods to this? Is it that I just have to keep a big smile on my face and treat everyone like the center of my world for a few seconds? That's difficult for me to do.

Ok Captain Planets, it's time to save the day!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

M

Matt Rogers

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Mr Fingers, you have made some very profound observations. Social proof is absolutely crucial. All the ladykillers at college I know (with the exception of a few jerks, jocks etc) despite not looking that special have that ability to make you like them instantly. They are nice to everyone, and have a way of getting instant rapport with everyone they talk to. Look at politicians (well good ones anyway) and how they work the room. This is what I want to be able to do.

How did you progress from the stage where you have to force yourself to say hi but come across as unnatural and nervous and do not really have the enthusiasm and cheerfulness to make it work, as 80% of this stuff is about non-verbals. I am dedicated to learn this skill, as it will serve me in every area in life, and any further advice you could give would be most welcome.
 
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Mr. Fingers

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It's funny you mention this matt.

Read my new post on Social Phobias and it should answer your questions.

Check it out

http://sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=29968

Also do a search on "Master of the Universe" He has some amazing posts that I have learned a great deal from...highly recommended!

Thanks for the feedback man. I have also noticed that the best mack daddies were never pretty boys or rich kids. They were just smooth-ass motherfu¢kers who had the uncanny ability to be cool with everyone. A useful skill indeed!

Damn I am real tired yo...Been a longgggg day. time to hit the hay

ZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz

Fingers out
 
M

Microphone Fiend

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after reading the 1st page of the second link, I just copied and pasted str8 in2 my archives and I'm gonna log off and read it, very nice post
 
D

Duke

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Bump for old time's sake! :D Awesome info in that link.
 
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