My thoughts, and journey so far!..

[Demonicale]

Ok so long story short, as nobody wants to hear me go on...

Ok so i've only ever had ONE relationship that lasted ... wait for it ... 3 month's.We went the full nine yards as in sex .. so this thread is'nt about that.

Since then i've had alot of one night stands with women who are "Below Average" .. and i've gone into the desperate zone recently ... doing thing's i never thought i'd do.

I feel at this time i'm looking for a relationship with a girl as i'm starting to think something is wrong with me as i'm an average looking guy, and i'm 26 .. ok i have a babyish face .. but i'm sick of being left out when all my other mates have women.

i've been offered relationships with girls, but none i'd care to be with .. "Like that"

So basically i've gone through a few thing's in my head, like grow facial hair and goto the gym .. the gym i decided i won't bother with now and the facial hair i'm still thinking about ... i guess i'm thinking the wrong way about looks.

OK SO HERE IS WHAT I WANT!

Apart from a "meaningful" relationship i want to be able to approach a girl i like without feeling like a *****... So i want you guy's to pass on your advice as to what works best with this?.. i've read the dj bible and loads of thing's .. i've even approached .. but it last's a few night's then i get approach terror again.

Anyway, anyone else who's in the same boat and needing an ass whipping to get em going?

 

[Kailex]

I feel at this time i'm looking for a relationship with a girl as i'm starting to think something is wrong with me as i'm an average looking guy, and i'm 26 .. ok i have a babyish face .. but i'm sick of being left out when all my other mates have women.

Dangerous grounds you are treading on.
Don't look at other people... look at yourself. When you post something like this, what I read is:

I think I need a woman to be happy.

And that is a terrible mindset to have.
There is NOTHING wrong with you. If there is, then there has to be something terribly wrong with me. I'm almost 30 and I'm not in any LTR's at the moment. Don't try to rush anything just for the sake of being in a relationship.

i've been offered relationships with girls, but none i'd care to be with .. "Like that"

Like what?

So basically i've gone through a few thing's in my head, like grow facial hair and goto the gym .. the gym i decided i won't bother with now and the facial hair i'm still thinking about ... i guess i'm thinking the wrong way about looks.

Why don't you want to bother with the gym now? This just exudes laziness.
I mean... why bother with something that can give you a physical, mental, and emotional advantage over the current you and in the long term can help you as well as a person. What's facial hair going to change? It's not going to change your game to do this, but if it has a placebo effect for you, go for it.

OK SO HERE IS WHAT I WANT!

Apart from a "meaningful" relationship i want to be able to approach a girl i like without feeling like a *****... So i want you guy's to pass on your advice as to what works best with this?.. i've read the dj bible and loads of thing's .. i've even approached .. but it last's a few night's then i get approach terror again.

Anyway, anyone else who's in the same boat and needing an ass whipping to get em going?

Meaningful relationship?
What's a meaningful relationship to you? Someone who is your girlfriend? Someone who will do your laundry? Someone to go to the movies with?

This whole thread just reeks of: I'm not happy with my life and I need a woman to complete me.
Forget the meaningful relationship crap for now, you're only 26.

What works best for approaching?
I'd say hitting the gym can definitely help build the confidence you need, first and foremost. Second, try just saying HI.
Third, determine where it is you want to approach and what kind of girls you are looking to attract. Fourth, FULFILL YOUR NEEDS. Fifth, BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF.

Sixth, stop comparing yourself to your friends.
When I was 23, almost all of my friends were married and with children... almost a third of them are divorced, another third are unhappy and the rest have decent marriages/families.

I can guarantee the same will happen with your friends. Some might have relationships and be miserable and look at YOU with envy.

Stop trying to rush things and live day by day.

 

[Demonicale]

Kailex

I want a girl who actually likes me for who i am, the usual thing .. ok maybe not meaningful but you get the picture.

Ok you know what, i'll ADMIT IT ... i'm practically 100% OBSESSED with getting women ... it's in my mind 24/7 and consumes my thoughts and at times get's me down and other times depresses me.

I did USE to goto the gym, i loved it .. i got ALOT stronger, but as i never eat the right foods i did'nt gain much muscle so decided it was pointless.

 

[masterpiece]

Demonicale you sound like me about 3 years ago i was desperate for a relationship at the time and would get myself down by thinking something was wrong with me. When i got a g/f i got so clingy that she got fed up and ended the relationship after about a year and a half.

What really helped me was focusing on myself, i worked on my confidence and the rest just followed, i went out just to have fun and wasnt even looking for a long term realtionship. Within a few months i was spinning two plates who were all over me and now one of them is my girlfriend.

Your desperate signs are the exact reason you dont have a g/f, girls will see this and it isnt attractive to them.

What worked for me was increasing my confidence. By not caring about women you seem to find them flocking to you.

Screw your friends having GF enjoy being single. Just like kalix said you are currently thinking you need a g/f to be happy which isnt the mindset to have. You have to be thinking that when you get a g/f, she is the lucky one to have you as a b/f.

I learnt the hard way as i used to think i needed a girl to make myself happy. Focus on yourself for a while.

 

[Demonicale]

Demonicale you sound like me about 3 years ago i was desperate for a relationship at the time and would get myself down by thinking something was wrong with me. When i got a g/f i got so clingy that she got fed up and ended the relationship after about a year and a half.

What really helped me was focusing on myself, i worked on my confidence and the rest just followed, i went out just to have fun and wasnt even looking for a long term realtionship. Within a few months i was spinning two plates who were all over me and now one of them is my girlfriend.

Your desperate signs are the exact reason you dont have a g/f, girls will see this and it isnt attractive to them.

What worked for me was increasing my confidence. By not caring about women you seem to find them flocking to you.

Screw your friends having GF enjoy being single. Just like kalix said you are currently thinking you need a g/f to be happy which isnt the mindset to have. You have to be thinking that when you get a g/f, she is the lucky one to have you as a b/f.

I learnt the hard way as i used to think i needed a girl to make myself happy. Focus on yourself for a while.

Yeah your right, but downtown where i try to get with women i don't seem to act "desperate" i dunno, i feel that i'm not getting anywhere as i'm acting like a wimp.. i mean i go out and expect women to get with me.

I'm really in need to get rid of this fear of talking to women.

It's also hard not to think about getting with women when where you work your surrounded by single beautiful women.

 

[DjVita]

you know seeing soo many guy obsessed with wonen i cant help but think of that quote from Pook in 15 lessons thread:

"WHY ARE THERE SOME MEN THAT WITHOUT TRYING CAN GET GIRLS AND OTHERS CANT NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRY??"

my my. it reminds me of the Alchemy principle:
in order to have gold, one must be pure enough not to want it

SO APPLY IT WITH WOMEN!

in order to "get" a girl, you must be man enough not to NEED her, oh, yes you want her, but shes just a girl...i mean they have cooties, smell funny and have emotional upheavals!

this is what everybody is telling you..YOU must be a GREAT person. you will outshine, concentrate on yourslef and girls will not help but notice you!

example: stop trying to seek aprooval. i bet you are the kind of guy that checks out every girl like a hungry vulture, desperate for attention for women

so im DARING YOU to starve even more....you will not look at a girl or blatantly check her out

ahh! NO!, use your periferal vision, but dont focus your eyesight or body posture to be directed on her!

and watch...the girls will start to check YOU out and look at you so YOU can look at them, they will giggle in front of you and later, if you resist the temptation (as i field tested it two hours in the bus going to work, 4 HB8s) they smile at your direction...now! its time to strike!
man its that easy if you focus on yourself...

 

[moneyisking]

@Demonicale: come on, be happy you're getting laid. At least think about bunch of people who can't get laid even after hanging around in this forum for more than 3-4 years, and frustrated the sh!t out of us. You're much ahead of many, and know what's like to bang, so much ahead of game. Be happy about that.

@Kailex and Masterpiece: you guys give the appropriate and excellent advices, but what I want to ask is HOW? For many, it's not that easy to just ignore the fact that one is a "chick-repulser", and still be cool with it. Kailex tells be happy with yourself. Dam, I try being happy with myself all the time, but how? It just doesn't happen. I know it is all mind thing, but something that can't be helped just can't be helped. It's similar to telling a homeless to be content b/c he is breathing air while his son is next to him dying from starvation and immuno-compromised related disease.

@DjVita: good advice, but like I mentioned, I do someone who really really wants gold not want a gold? How can someone do that?

 

[masterpiece]

I understand what your saying its incredably hard to not care that you havent had any women, i myself was the same, i didnt have a g/f or get laid till i was 21 and from 16 till then i felt the same pain all the guys here do.

For me personally i just focus on being better and try to portray confidence as much as i can.
You cant be happy/ confident all the time i still have days where i have no confidence and feel bad about myself.



I guess its just a learning process, they say if you tell yourself something enough you will become it.

Just keep at it, you dont have to happy all the time, just try to portray that you are.

 

[DjVita]

moneyisking the saying is from alchemy, the seudocience of the middle ages , the quest to make common metals though magic or nonexistent quemical reactions gold
they had an emerald tablet, a philosophy of sorts, that in order to keep plundrers away from its wondorous "secret" said
in order to obtiain/have gold, one must be pure enough not to want it...
it was placed in the first harry potter book, how he finds the sorcerers stone, potter did not want it for its miracles, but to find it just because its what it means.....

you want wonem (be sexual), but you dint need her (clingy)
you dont have a oneitis
you are not desperate
you are comfortable with yourself
you move on immediately if things did not work out.

 

[btownbuck2012]

i want to be able to approach a girl i like without feeling like a *****...

well here's what you do. Go out during the day and keep approaching women until it feels natural. Keep doing this over and over again until it's permanent. And then once it becomes permanent.....KEEP DOING IT. it's the only way

 

[masterpiece]

Yeah your right, but downtown where i try to get with women i don't seem to act "desperate" i dunno, i feel that i'm not getting anywhere as i'm acting like a wimp.. i mean i go out and expect women to get with me.

I'm really in need to get rid of this fear of talking to women.

It's also hard not to think about getting with women when where you work your surrounded by single beautiful women.

Thats what most guys do they expect girls to come to them, the occasional ones do but theses are normally low value. YOU need to approach them showing off your confidence.

Its might not seem to act desperate but girls can read it from your body language. From your post you clearly have some game as you get a fair few one night stands.

This hot single girls at work??, why dont you approach them, build some rapport and go from there, these will be great to practise your dj skills on.

 

[S0LID]

Ok so long story short, as nobody wants to hear me go on...

Ok so i've only ever had ONE relationship that lasted ... wait for it ... 3 month's.We went the full nine yards as in sex .. so this thread is'nt about that.

Since then i've had alot of one night stands with women who are "Below Average" .. and i've gone into the desperate zone recently ... doing thing's i never thought i'd do.

I feel at this time i'm looking for a relationship with a girl as i'm starting to think something is wrong with me as i'm an average looking guy, and i'm 26 .. ok i have a babyish face .. but i'm sick of being left out when all my other mates have women.

i've been offered relationships with girls, but none i'd care to be with .. "Like that"

So basically i've gone through a few thing's in my head, like grow facial hair and goto the gym .. the gym i decided i won't bother with now and the facial hair i'm still thinking about ... i guess i'm thinking the wrong way about looks.

OK SO HERE IS WHAT I WANT!

Apart from a "meaningful" relationship i want to be able to approach a girl i like without feeling like a *****... So i want you guy's to pass on your advice as to what works best with this?.. i've read the dj bible and loads of thing's .. i've even approached .. but it last's a few night's then i get approach terror again.

Anyway, anyone else who's in the same boat and needing an ass whipping to get em going?

I'll be straight with you.... with your mind sets, work ethic and attitudes, it's all going to come down to pure luck.

You will most likely go all in with a girl you don't like and mess up your life. You will have some kid you see once a fortnight, and every now and then you'll dress up as batman, for a fathers for justice protest.

My advise (which you wont take) is, go to the gym, really go for it! Get in peak shape. Buy yourself straight legged jeans, a white T with some sort of pattern on, and a pair of flat trainers. Get some fake tan, go to Tony and Guy, get a really sexy haircut. Start wearing an expensive fragrance like jean paul DAILY. Oh and always chew gum.

A few months back, I let myself go, long hair, old clothes, and I felt like "aw I just need somebody"... yes I was still meeting hot girls, but I had a massive scarcity thing going on in my head... it's like I felt defeated by it all.

Come on man, sort yourself out, don't be a screw up. I can pretty much guarantee that if I was in your body, I'd still be getting hot chicks.

 

[Demonicale]

I'll be straight with you.... with your mind sets, work ethic and attitudes, it's all going to come down to pure luck.

You will most likely go all in with a girl you don't like and mess up your life. You will have some kid you see once a fortnight, and every now and then you'll dress up as batman, for a fathers for justice protest.

My advise (which you wont take) is, go to the gym, really go for it! Get in peak shape. Buy yourself straight legged jeans, a white T with some sort of pattern on, and a pair of flat trainers. Get some fake tan, go to Tony and Guy, get a really sexy haircut. Start wearing an expensive fragrance like jean paul DAILY. Oh and always chew gum.

A few months back, I let myself go, long hair, old clothes, and I felt like "aw I just need somebody"... yes I was still meeting hot girls, but I had a massive scarcity thing going on in my head... it's like I felt defeated by it all.

Come on man, sort yourself out, don't be a screw up. I can pretty much guarantee that if I was in your body, I'd still be getting hot chicks.

I did use to goto the gym, but you see i'm classed as a "hard gainer" basically meaning is that because i'm slim ... it's gonna be MEGA hard to get any noticable improvement.

I use to goto the gym and liked it, although the food was a problem for me as i don't eat that much and didnt know what to eat.

Also i can do the whole not looking intrested thing and ignore women, but that sounds counter productive to what i want?.

 

[S0LID]

I did use to goto the gym, but you see i'm classed as a "hard gainer" basically meaning is that because i'm slim ... it's gonna be MEGA hard to get any noticable improvement.

I use to goto the gym and liked it, although the food was a problem for me as i don't eat that much and didnt know what to eat.

Also i can do the whole not looking intrested thing and ignore women, but that sounds counter productive to what i want?.

Ha I can relate to that, I'm a hard gainer as well, I weigh 11 stone 4, but look Healthy with it.

One of my close friends is skinny. It used to work for him in his teens, you can pull the small, little boy thing off when your young... but now he's a small man, with facial hair.

I don't know you... but the image I've got ain good... I've got the image of Tom Hanks in cast away.

 

[Demonicale]

Ha I can relate to that, I'm a hard gainer as well, I weigh 11 stone 4, but look Healthy with it.

One of my close friends is skinny. It used to work for him in his teens, you can pull the small, little boy thing off when your young... but now he's a small man, with facial hair.

I don't know you... but the image I've got ain good... I've got the image of Tom Hanks in cast away.

Yeah see i'm probally gonna re-register with the gym.Gonna be hard to gain anything .. but i guess at the very least it will give me something to do aswell as improve my strength etc..

But i'm more worried about the approaching thing at the moment more than anything, i think i've become content? .. with going out and expecting women to make a move on me which just IS'NT GOING TO HAPPEN!.

I just need for my stupid ego to let go of me and stop ruining my life .. if i did'nt care sooo much and am afraid of alittle rejection my life would be a whole lot more intresting.

 

[Demonicale]

Well i'm out tonight, and i will NOT come home tonight untill i approach 5 girls ... i know i've not even approached any girls in ALONG time ..

But i think i could approach 5 tonight!, i'm just gonna kiss my ego goodbye tonight... i'm at the point of giving up on women so i think that will be motivation to say "screw you ego, i'm gonna go for it"

 

[kingsam]

I did use to goto the gym, but you see i'm classed as a "hard gainer" basically meaning is that because i'm slim ... it's gonna be MEGA hard to get any noticable improvement.

this is a compplete BULLSH.IT excuse

im a hard gainer (i weigh 164.2 llb/ 74.5 kg ) and i look very good (i havent been training hard the last year tho...) BUT the first few months i ever trained (i ate fairly straight but NOTHING special) i made a massive improvement.

im some ways being a hard gainer is AN ADVANTAGE - even tho its harder to gain mass when you do it will look very toned without you needing to do much "toning or fat loss" coz you naturally have minimal fat...

YOU ARE JUST LAZY , thats all

 

[CarlitosWay]

lol @ hard gainer comments. Everyone is different but everyone can gain!! some faster than others. Most of you all I highly doubt have put MANY years under the weights. Most of you have never pushed the threshold in regards to training many times a week and eating 1 to 2 grams X BW in protein DAY IN DAY OUT for months upon months at at times until they add up to years.

Train like and with the intensity/dedication of a natural bodybuilder and eat big like one for the next year,. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIxM2xA3utc

Than try and come back spewing this "bs" about being a hard gainer. I put money on it your whole mindset will change and that word won't be a part of your vocab anymore.

 

[Demonicale]

Thanks for the comments guy's, but honestly what i'm saying is that going to the gym and working out IS NOT THE PROBLEM as i've belonged to a gym before and went 3 times a week every week for along time.

THE PROBLEM IS the food, look it's like this ... i tryed and tryed to eat the right foods and eat as much as possible, but the thing is, everyone is diffrent .. and for me who does'nt eat much atall it was VERRRRY HARD!.

See i never get hungry, so to eat what i had to eat was just making me feel bad and uncomfortable all the time.

SO the comments about being lazy are'nt appreciated ..

 

[kingsam]

SO the comments about being lazy are'nt appreciated ..

the truth obviously hurts, the only person your kidding with excuses is yourself...the sooner you sort it out the sooner the rewards will come ... its your loss?!
nothing wothwhile is easy

it WILL be easy when you get used too it, gradually increase the amount to intake.
also do you take suppliments (Proteain shakes) coz they are just drinks and you get a lot of nutrition in a quick easy go...

you need this ...
http://www.maximuscle.com/cyclone

dont get the cheap bulk packs of suppliment from Holland and Barret its poorer quiality