"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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My Thought on Being a Man

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sambwoy

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I am still struggling with where to go in life. I have really advanced in looking for jobs, but at the moment they will only be retail (shops) as creative design/graphics jobs are hard to come by.

Also looking back I feel I have had a totally naive view of life in my teens and early twenties. Relationships or any intimacy with a girl have been virtually non-existent. At school I was made to feel outcasted and that kept me away from girls, it was not helped by the fact that many girls at the time were not the nicest I ever ran into, and this was even in college, some just gave me the dirty looks and that caused me to retreat.

I have let this go on for years not realising that this is what life is like sometimes- these are just facts of life that you get people like that, but why do I always feel shot down?

People always seem to outcast or ridicule those who aren't the 'norm' and this makes me hate people. There were a lot of social divisions in college. I had been volunteering with a friend who stayed with people with 'special needs' in her college and the exact same thing happened.

Some days I hate being a man because I was brought into this world as a man but feel I can't offer anything that is highly desired by women.

Now a 24 year old virgin, should have I altered my thinking much more when I was younger, because for years I have had no confidence or any self-respect?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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FairShake

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sambwoy said:
Now a 24 year old virgin, should have I altered my thinking much more when I was younger, because for years I have had no confidence or any self-respect?
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Yes, you should've. But how many people are aware enough at 24 to do that. Do your best to alter it now.

Fail. Rinse. Repeat.

Over and over again. You're going to fail in front of people and embarrass the hell out of yourself. Try and get used to embarrassment! Then you have nowhere lower to go you can only get better. There's alot to be said for working your way up from the bottom.
 
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sambwoy

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FairShake said:
Yes, you should've. But how many people are aware enough at 24 to do that. Do your best to alter it now.

Fail. Rinse. Repeat.

Over and over again. You're going to fail in front of people and embarrass the hell out of yourself. Try and get used to embarrassment! Then you have nowhere lower to go you can only get better. There's alot to be said for working your way up from the bottom.
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You can be honest, have I wasted much of my youth being a recluse because I was too afraid of making a mess all the time when it came to talking to girls? Some of them my age when I think of my past were not all that nice, so I thought that established my position with women, that I am not that marketable or have anything of value at all.

I have started to realise that I am getting older and I will have lesser options in the future as to who I can date, just when I was getting a better new perspective of life, too.
 
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OM4ever

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"It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you do not stop"

the only way your past can affect your present and future now should be to serve as fuel/inspiration.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sambwoy

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Thank you for linking to that post. Talking about opportunities, I am not familiar with rock music events nor am I a massive rock fan but I pushed myself to go to one tonight- I know at least one person who is going. Any tips?
 
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Warrior74

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sambwoy said:
Thank you for linking to that post. Talking about opportunities, I am not familiar with rock music events nor am I a massive rock fan but I pushed myself to go to one tonight- I know at least one person who is going. Any tips?
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Be outgoing. When I first got in the rave scene, I didn't know anything about the music or the djs or the scene, I just wanted to check it out. So I told people exactly that.

'This is new to me, I just came to check it out. Who's playing, whats this all about? This is all new to me school me on this.'

People responded to my openness and honesty with openness and honesty. The few who were snobbish or douches were the ones everyone else thought were snobbish or douches. So be unafraid, be curious and be outgoing. Talk to everyone, talk to bartenders, talk to groups, both guys and girls. Its the best way when you don't know people.
 
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Gambit

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it's never too late to change or start over :trouble:
 
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sambwoy

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Additionally, do you have any advice for being 24? I have been more preoccupied with my age since I turned 22 and I got depressed about it. Perhaps a lot of people are getting married at this age and there are going to be fewer singles. I still feel like the adolescent teen who has never had sex more than the mature male.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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