This is just going from my own past experiences and from stuff I've been learning recently.
As far as long-term relationships go, we're often taught to look for someone who's "compatible" -- e.g. having stuff in common, personal connection, similar beliefs and interests and goals, blah blah blah blah blah. I used to write relationship self-help for a living and now deeply regret most of the cr*p I wrote about "compatibility", which I wrote mainly because it seemed logical and common-sense at the time. Of course, sex and relationships have absolutely nothing to do with logic or common sense, as many of us learn the hard way...
But I'm not so sure I believe in the concept of compatibility and *rolls eyes* "soulmates" anymore. Here's why:
Men experience attraction in a radically different way from how women experience attraction, right? Men can become physically attracted to a woman very quickly and unconditionally, even if she has nothing "in common" with him or is a total b*tch.
So, when a man meets a woman who is not only attractive but seems to "be on the same level" as he is, he will think about the situation logically and naively say, "Hey, this is somebody I feel a strong click with. We're on the same page, we have great conversation, we communicate well, we'd share interests, etc. So we must be compatible! We'd make a great couple!"
All of which is based on a sad misunderstanding of how relationships work in the real world. The dark truth is that women don't really seem to give a rat's a** about "compatibility". Women constantly reject or dump men whom they know they're "compatible" with (or worse, they'll stick you in the "friends" category quicker than you can say "virtual castration"), for the simple reason that so-called compatibility is NOT the same thing as ATTRACTION.
So, in general, it's better to focus on creating attraction when you meet somebody you're interested in (via ****y/Funny or whatever), right from the start, rather than assuming that she'll be won over by how "compatible" you two are.
Frankly, I don't even bother thinking about it anymore. Sometimes I think "compatibility" is a myth that a**clowns like John Gray and Barbara De Angelis just made up so they could sell more books.
Discuss.
As far as long-term relationships go, we're often taught to look for someone who's "compatible" -- e.g. having stuff in common, personal connection, similar beliefs and interests and goals, blah blah blah blah blah. I used to write relationship self-help for a living and now deeply regret most of the cr*p I wrote about "compatibility", which I wrote mainly because it seemed logical and common-sense at the time. Of course, sex and relationships have absolutely nothing to do with logic or common sense, as many of us learn the hard way...
But I'm not so sure I believe in the concept of compatibility and *rolls eyes* "soulmates" anymore. Here's why:
Men experience attraction in a radically different way from how women experience attraction, right? Men can become physically attracted to a woman very quickly and unconditionally, even if she has nothing "in common" with him or is a total b*tch.
So, when a man meets a woman who is not only attractive but seems to "be on the same level" as he is, he will think about the situation logically and naively say, "Hey, this is somebody I feel a strong click with. We're on the same page, we have great conversation, we communicate well, we'd share interests, etc. So we must be compatible! We'd make a great couple!"
All of which is based on a sad misunderstanding of how relationships work in the real world. The dark truth is that women don't really seem to give a rat's a** about "compatibility". Women constantly reject or dump men whom they know they're "compatible" with (or worse, they'll stick you in the "friends" category quicker than you can say "virtual castration"), for the simple reason that so-called compatibility is NOT the same thing as ATTRACTION.
So, in general, it's better to focus on creating attraction when you meet somebody you're interested in (via ****y/Funny or whatever), right from the start, rather than assuming that she'll be won over by how "compatible" you two are.
Frankly, I don't even bother thinking about it anymore. Sometimes I think "compatibility" is a myth that a**clowns like John Gray and Barbara De Angelis just made up so they could sell more books.
Discuss.
