My story so far...

[Chimera]

So I started seeing this girl about a month and a half ago. Funny thing is, I never even asked for her number. She GAVE it to me and said, "If I gave you my number, would you actually call?" I honestly wasn't that interested at first, but since I hadn't been on any dates in a while, I figured I'd give it a try. A month later, I found myself genuinely interested in her. Everything seemed as if it was going fine. We spoke all the time and although I hadn't sexed her (whenever I tried, she said she wanted to take things slow), it SEEMED like she was just about ready.

All of a sudden, she calls and tells me something to the effect of, "I've been seeing somebody else the whole time as well and i think I'm really falling for him, so I can't see you anymore, but as cliche as it sounds, I think you're a great guy and want to stay friends." I responded (thanks to an article on the front page) with, "Well, if we stay friends, I'm just gonna keep on making moves on you. I know you still like me and I think you're making a bad decision." She then got all confused and said, 'I never said I didn't. I'm confused. I need some time to think about it. I'll talk to you soon."

I gave her a few days to call back and then saw her facebook status as, "***** is up way past her bedtime, but it was so worth it. Le sigh...". I assumed the worst and at this point, decided to next her. I deleted her from my phone, facebook, and AIM. The next day, I get a text saying, "You deleted me from your FB friends? Seriously?" and a call in which she said, "I'm kind of offended that you took me off your FB friends. why would you do that?". I was at a party so I said, "I'll call you back later." She said, "Well, I'm about to go to sleep and tomorrow I'm working all day. Call me back the day after."

I never called her back. I'm pretty sure the situation is hopeless at this point. NEXT. It's been a few days and I can't stop thinking about her, but I'm ready to move on. The problem is that I can't seem to attract women so easily. I mean, I'm pretty well off in every category, but for some reason, chicks just ain't diggin' it. I've been getting rejected left and right.

So every week, that girl and I go to the same bar with our friends (we're kind of in the same social circle). I want to find a rebound girl there and really rub it in. On the other hand, I'm not really sure whether I care enough to do this, but I still want to find a rebound girl. WAT DO?

 

[Chimera]

So I read it over and goddamn I sound like such a woman. Still, advice would be appreciated.

 

[slaog]

You overreacted. You should always stay calm. Your reaction was typical AFC.


All the time she was basically spinning plates. Thats what you were. I don't know if she led you to believe otherwise so I won't comment on her actions.

I honestly wasn't that interested at first, but since I hadn't been on any dates in a while, I figured I'd give it a try. A month later, I found myself genuinely interested in her.

Did you start to act differently then? Or maybe I should ask do you know how? Its likely the more you liked her the more your behaviour changed.


What you can do now is keep learning and improving. If you see her again its no big deal or at least thats what you should make of it. Say you forgot to call her back or something. Treat her like you'd treat any normal person. You don't have to be her friend but be civil. Show her you're above getting upset over her because you've more important things in life then her.


Spin other plates also.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

So I read it over and goddamn I sound like such a woman. Still, advice would be appreciated.

Haha! I'm glad you said this so I didn't have to.

Sounds like you pretty much handled everything the right way. Except that I'd strongly advise against rubbing a rebound in her face. This is something women do. It's extremely DLV.

I'd recommend going to a new bar. A change of scenery would do you some good after this anyway. New environment. New people. New women. It'll pick up your spirits.

 

[Chimera]

Thanks guys. Here's the gameplan: If I see her at the bar, I'll be like, "Oh ****. I totally forgot to call you back! Sorry 'bout that. You wanted to know why I deleted you off of FB, right? Well, I told you the conditions of being my friend and you didn't get back to me, so I went ahead and assumed that you didn't want to be friends and that'd make us acquaintances. Acquaintances are cool and all, but I can't just put anyone on my FB. Too many notifications and stuff for my taste."

Yay or nay?

EDIT: If you couldn't tell, I'm really bored and thinking out scenarios in my head to pass the time.

 

[slaog]

Thanks guys. Here's the gameplan: If I see her at the bar, I'll be like, "Oh ****. I totally forgot to call you back! Sorry 'bout that. You wanted to know why I deleted you off of FB, right? Well, I told you the conditions of being my friend and you didn't get back to me, so I went ahead and assumed that you didn't want to be friends and that'd make us acquaintances. Acquaintances are cool and all, but I can't just put anyone on my FB. Too many notifications and stuff for my taste."

Yay or nay?

EDIT: If you couldn't tell, I'm really bored and thinking out scenarios in my head to pass the time.

Yeah that sounds good. By the way its good to think out different scenarios.


It helps you understand what works and what doesn't.

 

[macallik]

You overreacted. You should always stay calm. Your reaction was typical AFC.

Disagree completely. He WAS calm.

To the OP, what you did was light years above 99% of the guys who end up in this situation. I kept waiting for the part where you would tell her how much you liked her or how you cursed her off on the phone as an act of misplaced frustration.

Instead, you realized the problem and cut it off at the knees. Congrat-u-fvcking-lations on realizing the situation and acting accordingly.

As for the situation you are in currently, don't go in like, "oh snap I forgot to call you"... anybody who isn't in their first relationship ever will likely see through that. That facebook explanation is weak too. You dont want any notifications from anyone? No. If you are gonna dance the dance, you can't be afraid to step on a few toes.

Hunt for a new girl, but not to rub it in. Find a new girl coz this one has proven that she isnt worth your time.
Edit: yea, Nexus said the same thing.

As for gettin rejected left and right, keep trucking mang. All you need is one to fall thru. I wonder if you really like this girl or she is the only sure thing that hung around a bit so she feels like the only option you can get...

 

[slaog]

Disagree completely. He WAS calm.

Actions speak louder then words. By removing her from his facebook and his phone etc straight away it showed that he was hurt. I have seen worse AFC reactions and it wasn't too bad but its also something for the OP to consider.

 

[macallik]

Yea, the facebook delete was a bit much but he isn't in it to show how calm he is at the end of the day. Him faking being calm will throw his feelings about her into question which will spike interest but at the same time looking for new, better girls will do the same thing AND has the added bonus of actually replacing this chick who has proven to be unworthy. By trying to act calm, the main objective is to get the girl, but by cuttin off complete contact it is a side effect