My story...Need DJ Input.

[seek&destroy]

Okay here goes!

I used to like this girl at my school a while back (summer of last year) and I felt really intimidated and nervous around her. Now, I realize that this was a mistake on my part since she saw through my disguise with very little effort. Needless to say, I ended up telling her how I felt about her (and we didn't even go out) because I was convinced that was what would "reel her in" so to speak (AFC, yes I know) . When I told her (it was over MSN, because I WAS too shy and intimidated to do anything in person) she just gave me the all-too-famous LJBF speech (or rather a paragraph), but I didn't think much of it. I still thought I could get her to change her mind and fall for me just like I fell for her. At first, I was kind of smothering her, trying to spend time with her, and she ended up flaking out ALL the time, and then about a month after I told her how I felt, she totally b!tcheded me out saying that we wouldn't even work out as friends, and that I should just leave her alone (yes, now I know that I went a tad bit too far with my efforts to get her). This move on her part totally devastated me (even when she LJBF'd me, I didn't feel intimidated AT ALL because I was convinced that I still had a shot at seducing her). Then I started to educate myself by reading some e-books, such as David DeAngelo's "Double Your Dating" program, and I ordered his DVD's. After that I read "The Mystery Method: Venusian Arts Handbook" and "Secrets of the Alpha Male" by Carlos Xuma (which I JUST finished reading last night at 3 in the morning lol). Now prior to reading this material, I employed reverse psychology strategies and showed a certain amount of DISINTEREST in her, almost completely ignoring her at some points in time. She came back appologizing for her behavior and said that she felt really bad about what she did. I accepted her appology and went on with my life as if nothing happened.

Fast forward to about a month or two ago...
She started talking to me, and I started teasing her and making her laugh to a certain degree. I never again showed that I could be intimidated by her, and as a result she one day told me (in class sitting beside me) that "I am one of the only people in that class that she actually likes". Once again, I didn't let that get to me and appeared as if I could care less. Then about a week later, she started asking me to hang out with her (due to me leaving school, she got to see me A LOT less than usual). Now my question is...IS THERE ANY WAY I COULD SEDUCE HER, OR GET HER TO FALL FOR ME? She seems like she approves of me much more than she did before (and even if she didn't I wouldn't care!). The strangest thing right now is that I don't like her in the same way anymore, but I still want her. I DON'T NEED HER, I WANT HER. Any suggestions are welcome.

ROCK ON FELLOW DJ's! :rockon:

 

[JC9]

Will need some more info.

Is there any sexual tension between you two, or does she seem pretty relaxed and comfortable?

Does she share more personal things with you? Does she get sort of nervous and play with her hair if you are close?

Sadly, your first impression might have stuck with her and all your interactions now how simply gained you a friend. If she views you as a friend, your going to be spinning your wheels endlessly trying to lay her and have a very low chance of succeeding.

However, if she views you at all like a man or sexually at all you have a really good chance.

Look at your interactions with her, does she treat you like a friend or does she flirt?

 

[Desdinova]

Keep doing what you're doing. When the last day of school comes, wish her a good and prosperous life, and start walking away. If she initiates anything after that, then go with it. If she doesn't just move on with your life. She rejected you, so she has to turn that around if she wants something more.

This is a former one-itis you're dealing with. How she feels about you could change, or it could remain the same. Don't put too much hope into turning this friend into a lover. To get women, you must be willing to live without them.

 

[seek&destroy]

Will need some more info.

Is there any sexual tension between you two, or does she seem pretty relaxed and comfortable?
Look at your interactions with her, does she treat you like a friend or does she flirt?

To answer your question:

How can I tell if there's any sexual tension between us??
And she sort of sends me mixed signals. She doesn't really flirt with me, but she is unsure of her own intentions and this I know for a fact. It looks like she is trying to spend more time with me, but I might be wrong.

Hmm...I have to think about the rest of your questions...
She doesn't seem really nervous around me, although she did on one or two occasions...but I'm unsure. Any signs I should look out for?

 

[seek&destroy]

To get women, you must be willing to live without them.

RIGHT ON! That hits the spot bro.

I've already shown her that I can do just fine with or without her (well more without). I think that all I have to do now is play the waiting game.

 

[seek&destroy]

Oh and here's one more thing I forgot to mention before...

I know for a fact that she was VERY comfortable around me before I told her how I feel about her. Two days before she LJBF'd me, she chose to sit beside me in class while we were watching a movie. I had a note to give to her, but my best friend advised me not to do so because that would have pushed her away, showing her that I am a wuss and can't deal with this problem in person and thus have chosen to resort to writing her a note. He was right. And also she would have absolutely no problem with accepting my hugs and such flirtatious moves before I told her of my feelings. Everything she did pointed to the possibility of her liking me back, but I just wasn't sure.

 

[seek&destroy]

anyone??

 

[JC9]

Oh and here's one more thing I forgot to mention before...

I know for a fact that she was VERY comfortable around me before I told her how I feel about her. Two days before she LJBF'd me, she chose to sit beside me in class while we were watching a movie. I had a note to give to her, but my best friend advised me not to do so because that would have pushed her away, showing her that I am a wuss and can't deal with this problem in person and thus have chosen to resort to writing her a note. He was right. And also she would have absolutely no problem with accepting my hugs and such flirtatious moves before I told her of my feelings. Everything she did pointed to the possibility of her liking me back, but I just wasn't sure.

Well, you were friendzoned before you told her your feelings, so it's not like that action was the main problem anyways. Telling her your feelings just alerted her to the fact that you wanted her, which most girls actually find pretty creepy (the friend who then expresses romantic interest).

She probably viewed your hugs and whatnot as a friendly thing, like what she does with her other girlfriends.

Re-reading your first post, you mention that now you won't let yourself be intimidated by her and that she says you're one of the people in class that she likes.

That's great that you don't let yourself be intimidated, but if you haven't changed your behavior around her to be that of a sexual male she will go back into her pattern of seeing you as a friend, which is what it sounds like to me from your posts.

Bit of a clarification on being a sexual male. What I mean by that is that she needs to feel, not logically know, that your a man who would **** her if she let's her guard down. This creates in her a desire to let her guard down, so that you as a strong alpha male can take her, but her logical mind starts to interfere. This creates sexual tension. Your DJ skills amp that tension, and when the time and place are right remove her logical mind from the equation by getting her into a hightened emotional state.

For sexual tension, mostly you can feel it since you create it, but here are some things to look for.

If you are sitting close, is her body subtly leaning into you but she appears a bit nervous. Does she blush even slightly and look away if you give her real strong eye contact. Does she brush her leg or breasts up against you, seemingly by accident, when there is no need. Does she ever bite her lower lip when you apply light kino or when you spend prolonged time close together.

Those are some signs that there is attraction of a sexual nature. However, if she gives you warm hugs, seems completely comfortable sitting next to you or laying on your bed, shares personal stories, shares feelings and thoughts, she still views you as a friend.

Now, the above things are just indicators to look for if you want to deduce where you are.

A better method is to simply make a move. Ask her out on a date, but make sure it's conveyed that way, it can't be mistaken for doing something with a friend.

Be aware though, that after this you will know how she views you, and there is no going back.

If she is attracted to you at all, she will accept the date and you can now progress with her the right way.

If she views you as a friend, she will be very hesitant to answer and kindly turn you down. Then you know she only views you as a friend. Also know, that in most cases, you will lose her as a friend completely and she will start acting very wierd and distant around you. Sort of like the first time you expressed feelings.

It comes down to what you want. Do you value her friendship enough to not want to lose that, or do you want her enough to be willing to lose her completely.

The indicators I listed above are ways to hedge your bets, so to speak, before making a move. Since if you're getting all the friend indicators you might decide it's better to keep the friendship and use her as a nice pivot or inroad to her hot friends.

But in the end, only action will reveal the truth so take it sooner than later then deal with the consequences.