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Pajeet Singh

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My life has been nerdy and studious with no regard to what was relationship. I had lots of girls who just hooked up (sharing of feeling phases). I never went past that stage into intimacy or sexual. I had no idea what to do or even think it was even necessary until marriage. I am old now(30 yo). Last rejection took the toll and made me snap. I no longer feel the need to do courtship or even care about feelings. I have this idea of just pleasuring myself and never negotiating if the partner is not giving me pleasure. This is stupid. But I can't take any chance of hurting myself. Most of the time I would take around 6-8 months to get over the girls but there is no point now. I have this idea of bumping into girls, trying to reach the "get laid" stage and keep coming at it and I would be confrontational about what I want. This is higher defense mechanism I have developed. I am going to live like this. Has anyone felt this way or know what it is going to be? Senior comments would be appreciated.
 

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samspade

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But I can't take any chance of hurting myself.
Often times there is one sentence in a post that stands out. This one, for example.

I've got nothing against quick lays and flings - they're great. But I don't recommend you wear a suit of armor the whole time just to avoid getting hurt. That's just not practical or healthy.

Since you said you're taking 6-8 months to get over a girl, maybe that's why you're going in the other extreme. Perhaps you need to work on how you recover. I can see taking that long after a 3+ year LTR. But if you're taking that long after every mini-relationship, perhaps that's what you've got to adjust...find ways to process sadness and/or get out and feel better. Just a thought.
 

mrgoodstuff

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My life has been nerdy and studious with no regard to what was relationship. I had lots of girls who just hooked up (sharing of feeling phases). I never went past that stage into intimacy or sexual. I had no idea what to do or even think it was even necessary until marriage. I am old now(30 yo). Last rejection took the toll and made me snap. I no longer feel the need to do courtship or even care about feelings. I have this idea of just pleasuring myself and never negotiating if the partner is not giving me pleasure. This is stupid. But I can't take any chance of hurting myself. Most of the time I would take around 6-8 months to get over the girls but there is no point now. I have this idea of bumping into girls, trying to reach the "get laid" stage and keep coming at it and I would be confrontational about what I want. This is higher defense mechanism I have developed. I am going to live like this. Has anyone felt this way or know what it is going to be? Senior comments would be appreciated.
So your general "social" side is not strong? Sex will be a byproduct of a good social life.
 

Reyaj

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My life has been nerdy and studious with no regard to what was relationship. I had lots of girls who just hooked up (sharing of feeling phases). I never went past that stage into intimacy or sexual. I had no idea what to do or even think it was even necessary until marriage. I am old now(30 yo). Last rejection took the toll and made me snap. I no longer feel the need to do courtship or even care about feelings. I have this idea of just pleasuring myself and never negotiating if the partner is not giving me pleasure. This is stupid. But I can't take any chance of hurting myself. Most of the time I would take around 6-8 months to get over the girls but there is no point now. I have this idea of bumping into girls, trying to reach the "get laid" stage and keep coming at it and I would be confrontational about what I want. This is higher defense mechanism I have developed. I am going to live like this. Has anyone felt this way or know what it is going to be? Senior comments would be appreciated.
I don't normally recommend him but in your case I think you should read Anti Dump's material on here. It will take you to a different extreme but you can then hone your outlook and approach throughout your experiences.
 

MrWood

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I had lots of girls who just hooked up (sharing of feeling phases). I never went past that stage into intimacy or sexual.
to note: OP is a virgin and seemingly has never gone past "second base" (does cricket have a equivalent?)
 
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stormrider

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So your general "social" side is not strong? Sex will be a byproduct of a good social life.
For me, sex is 100% a byproduct of a good social life. It could be something simple like showing up to a gym/fitness class or doing some work at a coffee shop or even traveling. I once bought a bowflex home gym and cancelled my gym membership and lost every single plate.

I went through months not knowing why I was struggling. It was unusual. I thought I had lost my charm or something. I counted all the ioi's I was getting and traced it back the black hole period where I stopped going to the gym (my gym has tons of college chicks always making eye contact and flirting. Almost like a club environment). So I quickly renewed my membership and saw the serendipity and "out of nowhere" ioi's and chicks flirting with me instantly manifesting again. And not just at the gym either, but everywhere.

There is absolutely such thing as an abundance vibe and its polar opposite, needy energy.

Yet so many guys on this forum insist on being nomadic no life seducers whose only access to women is the night clubs, while spending most of their time incubating in their dungeons.

That's not even normal. That's something a PUA would do. Throw away social life and purpose and rely 100% on weird tactics while carrying around a needy vibe.

Some guys can pull of the nomadic seducer lifestyle. I can't do it. I need positive momentum, abundance, inspiration, passion, purpose, energy, social life, and vibrating on a high level to be my most attractive to women/people.
 
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7onriverI f

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For me, sex is 100% a byproduct of a good social life. It could be something simple like showing up to a gym/fitness class or doing some work at a coffee shop or even traveling. I once bought a bowflex home gym and cancelled my gym membership and lost every single plate.

I went through months not knowing why I was struggling. It was unusual. I thought I had lost my charm or something. I counted all the ioi's I was getting and traced it back the black hole period where I stopped going to the gym (my gym has tons of college chicks always making eye contact and flirting. Almost like a club environment). So I quickly renewed my membership and saw the serendipity and "out of nowhere" ioi's and chicks flirting with me instantly manifesting again. And not just at the gym either, but everywhere.

There is absolutely such thing as an abundance vibe and its polar opposite, needy energy.

Yet so many guys on this forum insist on being nomadic no life seducers whose only access to women is the night clubs, while spending most of their time incubating in their dungeons.

That's not even normal. That's something a PUA would do. Throw away social life and purpose and rely 100% on weird tactics while carrying around a needy vibe.

Some guys can pull of the nomadic seducer lifestyle. I can't do it. I need positive momentum, abundance, inspiration, passion, purpose, energy, social life, and vibrating on a high level to be my most attractive to women/people.
I'm the total opposite. I can sit at home for months and not even see a girl and then go out and get iois all over the place.
I have being told by girls I'm over confident.

My confidence is only based on the fact that I'm breathing.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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I'm the total opposite. I can sit at home for months and not even see a girl and then go out and get iois all over the place.
I have being told by girls I'm over confident.

My confidence is only based on the fact that I'm breathing.
if your not fvcking them then so what. If you keep listening to them i guarantee the confidence you do have will be less.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I'm the total opposite. I can sit at home for months and not even see a girl and then go out and get iois all over the place.
I have being told by girls I'm over confident.

My confidence is only based on the fact that I'm breathing.
So your game is your high confidence. Don't forget it.
 

7onriverI f

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So your game is your high confidence. Don't forget it.
No I don't believe I exist in sense. No identity as such.
Game is about turning up. You have to be around women. Then its about eye contact from across the room. Then its either them or you approaching. then its about building some rapport. perhaps some kissing. moving to another location ideally. taking them to a place to have sex.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

mrgoodstuff

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haha okay, then make it hot to the highest level...haha
It is hotter. Violating DJ laws reduce it. 1. Chasing females. 2. Putting em on pedastal. 3. Letting em control you. 4. Doing more for you than she does for you. 5. Working hard for femaled ( choosing females who didn't choose you ).

Females invest in what they value. They will climb a mountain for the man the really desire. Never ne settled for.
 
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jnMissouri

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Often times there is one sentence in a post that stands out. This one, for example.

I've got nothing against quick lays and flings - they're great. But I don't recommend you wear a suit of armor the whole time just to avoid getting hurt. That's just not practical or healthy.

Since you said you're taking 6-8 months to get over a girl, maybe that's why you're going in the other extreme. Perhaps you need to work on how you recover. I can see taking that long after a 3+ year LTR. But if you're taking that long after every mini-relationship, perhaps that's what you've got to adjust...find ways to process sadness and/or get out and feel better. Just a thought.
This. Each one I recover faster and faster. One of the girls I was in a relationship with last year for close to a year, I was soooo upset, even though I ended it. I felt so sad. 2-3 months later I didn't care at all...

There was another I had a 3 month long thing with and when we split she texted me 2 days later trying to get back together saying it didn't even seem to phase me. Little did she know I had zero feelings for her, she was just sex. Great, fun girl with great sex but I had a live in gf at home and another on the side, she was just a fling to me and I had to break it off with her anyways because I was starting to draw attention. Don't even think about her.

It helps to have a life to throw yourself into and realize your pattern; no matter how much it hurts, you will move on and find another. Focus on yourself and improve your life and NEVER focus on women as your goal in life. They come and go.
 

mrgoodstuff

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It is hotter. Violating DJ laws reduce it. 1. Chasing females. 2. Putting em on pedastal. 3. Letting em control you. 4. Doing more for you than she does for you. 5. Working hard for femaled ( choosing females who didn't choose you ).

Females invest in what they value. They will climb a mountain for the man the really desire. Never ne settled for.
This is true need to constantly remind ourselves. There are men women value and others they settled for.
 
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