"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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My shink's hamster

gov87

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I'm not sure whether BB is a troll or not but I will say this for him if he's being honest and for others who may be reading...

I understand many our against "shrinks", but please don't let these opinions keep you away from one if you think you could benefit. I really don't like the stigma attached.

As far as the shrink you seeing BB with a woman who is obviously trying to manipulate you, find a new one. You should already have a nagging inside you which is your instincts... follow it.

So, where does my opinion/advice come from on this- my experience. I started seeing a guy around a year ago and it has been tremendous, I cannot deny it. I only go maybe once a month now but I make sure to go in ever now and then to keep on track til I'm really comfortable. You have to make sure you're seeing someone you can trust tho... I cannot stress this enough. I suggest seeing a male, obviously bc they will be able to relate better.

I understand where some people see talking to a therapist as a bad thing, but you all need to understand that everyone's experience is different and that other's map to a healthier life will require different approaches. For me, I needed someone to validate my thoughts/feelings and also help me start to be able to realize where my patterns came from. Knowing that there were reasons for why I thought that way and being able to confirm this with a safe person, has helped me get to where I am becoming better and better at self-validation... which leads to confidence and all other sorts of traits that are masculine that we possess naturally. Unfortunately, the world today has several potential roadblocks that can inhibit us from embracing them.

Along with reading forums like this and other good information, I feel like I'm actually taking control of my life whereas other times I thought I was but I was actually being led by the ways of a dillusioned society.

Again, I have no hate for people against therapy but please don't discourage anyone that might benefit from a little.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Peaks&Valleys

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I honestly don't get how she's trying to manipulate him.

backbreaker said:
been going to this woman for 3 years we have a pretty good report and we shoot the **** sometimes
backbreaker said:
We got on the subject of men and women or what not and she was telling me that men think they know what women want but they don't, beucase well my boyfriend has a pot belly and he's so confident.
So she's saying that men think it's about their looks, but instead she says women are attracted to a man's confidence and what not.

I think that's good advice.
 

zekko

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gov87 said:
I understand many our against "shrinks", but please don't let these opinions keep you away from one if you think you could benefit
That's the thing, I can't imagine a situation where I could benefit from talking to a shrink. That doesn't mean no one else would, but it's not for me.

Peaks&Valleys said:
So she's saying that men think it's about their looks, but instead she says women are attracted to a man's confidence and what not.

I think that's good advice.
You could get the same observation from Reader's Digest. I've been hearing that same statement my entire life, going back to 50 years ago.

A man should have confidence, yes. But beyond that, I think the whole thing gets a little silly. Let's say I have $80 worth of confidence. But oh wait, here comes another guy, look, he has $120 worth of confidence. The girls will like him better for sure. :rolleyes:
 

taiyuu_otoko

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zekko said:
You could get the same observation from Reader's Digest. I've been hearing that same statement my entire life, going back to 50 years ago.
The fundamental dynamics of male-female relationships ARE pretty simple. Guys like young women with good looks. Girls like established men with power.

EVERYTHING that is an indication (about youth or power) is going to cause attraction.

Luckily for men, there is really NO END to the amount of attraction you can create, so long as you continue to improve yourself.

However, because this NECESSARILY involves improving your social skills which NECESSARILY requires getting out and talking to girls A LOT, most guys would prefer to make it much more complicated, imagining there's some deeply mysterious red pill theory that takes complex brain power to understand.

Which keeps them safely on the sidelines debating all the endless facets of "game."
 

glass half full

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Shrinks are different just like anyone else. I had taken my stepson to one in 2007 and I was impressed with him, he seemed to think like I did. He couldn't help my stepson, cause my sillyazz wife waited too late (he was 14) he needed to go when he was much younger.

When I needed to go, he was booked up for two months, so I saw the other one. He sucked, had a very expensive office though...

I called their home office and scheduled ahead for the good one, they wanted to now why, so I told them. Two months or so later, the guy went ape on my shrink and left all pizzed...

Like anything else, you need to shop for the "right fit".
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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