My second biggest problem...

[monster squad]

My biggest problem is the inability to approach. That's not what this is about though.

Whenever a girl seems interested in me, I downplay it. I act indifferent, or even reject them at first. I'm always so hesitant to make decisions, and I resist to the bitter end. Last girl even told me to stop being so "shy", as it was turning her on more. This seems to be some strange, untapped phenomena.

Where I run into a wall is when I reciprocate. I had a girl chase me, literally, for years. I finally broke down, messed around with her, and BOOM! I kinda filled her in on how I really felt about her, and I get the LJBF speech. More recently, I was with a girl who never stopped with the compliments and always wanted to see me. She started up with the "I'm not good enough for you" crap, and began putting herself down. Saying she needs to lose weight, saying that I was better looking than her, commenting on all these things. "I don't know why a guy like you would even like me.". She even complained in the middle of me nailing her that she doesn't think she turns me on. So I felt kinda like I was pressured into saying SOMETHING to make her feel better, and then she disappeared. I haven't seen her in almost a month and I haven't gotten a hold of her on the phone in almost as long.

I'm not talking about stupid moves, like declaring my undying love, or some dumb sh1t either. I'll just show a little more interest in them, like maybe call them rather than them call me, or just tell her I like her.

It could all be something else, but how can I get a girl to understand (or at the very least shut about it) that I'm into them without apparently scaring them off? Or should I call their bluff and continue playing hard to get forever?

 

[Soprano]

i still suck at approaching, once i'm in i'm good but i just really suck at the approaching part so i feel u on that


as far as the showing interest part, i mean obviouslyh dont start negging some girl with horrible self esteem lol. sometimes i'll meet like 6's or 7's who act like that i'll just say "pft you're fine stop whining" or something like that

 

[tmpgstx]

This is interesting .. are you considered very attractive by the majority of girls you know?

The reason i ask this is because the same thing happens with me. One girl i was screwing told me i was too *hot* for her.

Maybe when these girls get your complete attention in the relationship context and when push comes to shove, they really don't feel worthy of you for whatever reason?

 

[monster squad]

I guess. I definately don't fit into any stereotypical good looking guy mold, but girls are constantly telling me that I'm "cute". The last girl I was with told her friends she thought I was "hot" (before she stopped answering the phone when I call). Tonight I was at the bar by myself, just sitting there, and there was a girl with her BF staring at me the whole night, another girl with her BF was turning around to look at me a bunch of times, and the two bartenders (both chicks) were giving me free drinks all night. I never ask for phone numbers, but they're constantly throwing them at me. Whatever.

I've noticed that my friends girlfriends always come onto me when when I'm out with them. They give me all the attention in the world, but obviously I can never act on it.

When I look in the mirror, I don't really care much for what I see. Not to sound like I'm self-loathing, but I don't think I'm anything special. I could stand to lose some weight, for example, and I wish I looked a little older.

But enough of that. I just want to know why they bail the second I show any real interest in them. It's like as soon as they've caught me, they throw me back.