concrete jungle
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- Feb 10, 2006
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Ok, obviously this is my first post. I have read a lot though, and yes, including the bible. I’m writing this mostly for myself… to get it all off my chest. If you want to laugh at me, or scold me, or lecture me, go ahead. That’s your right for me posting here. If you would rather give me some advice, I would appreciate it. Here’s the story:
Jan 05: I start work at my first job after college. I am immediately attracted to this one girl, physical and personality, the whole deal. For the first month I don’t work very closely with her, but kinda convince myself that she likes me and would love for me to ask her out. This I know now was based on bull**** flirtatious stuff she has with everyone.
Important Event # 1 -- Mid Feb 2005: While at a bar with her and some other co-workers, we get into an argument about some comment I made about girls tending to like the movie Titanic more than guys. She takes it completely out of context and basically goes on a feminist rampage for a half hour. It ends with us having a 30-60 stare-down, which I win… she looks away first.
At this point I figure, well, maybe it was just a show, test, whatever. Maybe she finds me challenging and interesting. So taking the advice I’ve seen to “just go for it” we have…
Important Event # 2 – Late Feb 2005: One Friday at the end of the work day, I ask her plans for the weekend and ask her to go to my friends amateur boxing match with me. She seems mildly interested but says she has plans to go away for the weekend (this was true). Next week rolls around, I ask her to go to a museum with me on Saturday. She asks, “Is this a romantic thing?” I say something like, “What does that mean”. She comes back with “I don’t want to date anyone from work”. This will be a recurring theme. I don’t know what to do at this point. Anyway, she agrees to go as friends, but the next day she is visibly sick and I tell her not to worry about it.
March-May 2005: We start to work closer together (in proximity and in what we do). She acts pretty cold to me, but my desire for her just continues to grow.
June-August 2005: Things start to warm up. We talk more and joke around. Several times a day we have prolonged eye contact, without anything being said. Just passing by in the hall or something like that.
Important Event # 3 – August 2005: One day out at a bar with her and co-workers, some ******* comes over to our table and starts rudely hitting on her. He also drinks from our pitchers of beer without asking. I don’t say anything. Finally, she tells him to leave. When he hesitates, I just kind of go off and say “She said get the **** out of here.” He goes ballistic, saying he wants to fight me. I just ignore it. His friends later apologize and get him out of there.
August-September 2005 – Our relationship stays pretty much the same as it was in the months previous, but I just can’t get over the desire.
Important Event # 4 – September 2005: While at the same bar where the incident took place, it comes out that she was furious with me for interjecting myself in that way. I say I was just acting how I felt, but apologize if it made her annoyed, angry, etc. She says, “It’s OK, I actually just decided to forgive you yesterday.” WTF?? Also this night she tells me that I am funny, witty, and really smart. Whatever. Later in the night, I get a bit too drunk. I hug her from behind, turn her around and say something stupid, I don’t remember exactly what. In any event, It ends with the second case of “no one from work”. I say, “maybe one day…” She says, “maybe one day.” I leave it at that. When some guy starts hitting on her later I just decide to leave.
Important Event # 5 – October 2005: She learns that I am leaving the job in two weeks. During this period we begin to have stranger interactions. We brush arms a lot. She stands closer to me than usual. However, after being offered a lot of money to stay, I decide to stay. Apparently, no one told her about this. I learn later that she had been under the impression that I was still leaving and didn’t even say goodbye to me on what would have been my last day. I was under the impression she knew I wasn’t leaving so I can’t remember if it was me or her who left first that day.
October-January 2005: We continue to joke around with each other and have moments of brief bodily contact. Way more than the random accidents that happen with other people.
Important Event # 6 – Dec 30 2005 – I find a good time to ask her through email what her plans are for New Year’s. She gives me the worst possible answer. In summary, ‘I have plans, so don’t invite me anywhere, but I don’t know what they are yet, so I’m not inviting you’. That hurts, but it was my pre-New Year’s resolution to do what I was about to do. At the end of the day she says goodbye and leaves. A few seconds later I follow her into the hall, no one else is around. I call her back and say to her, “I’m just going to pretend that it’s New Year’s Eve at Midnight.” Then I try to kiss her. She turns her head to give me the cheek, I don’t accept it. We look at each other for a couple seconds and she says in a feeling sorry for you tone, “No one I work with”.
Where things stand right now: Jan-Feb 2006: Things get busy at work. I get a promotion and start to take on a lot more higher-level responsibilities. Our relationship is OK, in that semi-friend gray area. I’m pretty sure she’s sleeping with someone, but not in a committed relationship.
Important Event # 6 – April or May 2006: She will be leaving. She is now in the process of looking for another job.
Here is where I could use some honest advice. What do I do her last day. Why not just go for it again, what do I have to lose? Does anyone have any suggestions on how exactly I should do it?
Anyway, thanks for reading my admittedly pathetic oneitis story. Any comments/advice are welcome but try to go easy on the “just bang ten other chicks and you’ll forget about her”. I just don’t think I’m the type of person who would/could do that.
Jan 05: I start work at my first job after college. I am immediately attracted to this one girl, physical and personality, the whole deal. For the first month I don’t work very closely with her, but kinda convince myself that she likes me and would love for me to ask her out. This I know now was based on bull**** flirtatious stuff she has with everyone.
Important Event # 1 -- Mid Feb 2005: While at a bar with her and some other co-workers, we get into an argument about some comment I made about girls tending to like the movie Titanic more than guys. She takes it completely out of context and basically goes on a feminist rampage for a half hour. It ends with us having a 30-60 stare-down, which I win… she looks away first.
At this point I figure, well, maybe it was just a show, test, whatever. Maybe she finds me challenging and interesting. So taking the advice I’ve seen to “just go for it” we have…
Important Event # 2 – Late Feb 2005: One Friday at the end of the work day, I ask her plans for the weekend and ask her to go to my friends amateur boxing match with me. She seems mildly interested but says she has plans to go away for the weekend (this was true). Next week rolls around, I ask her to go to a museum with me on Saturday. She asks, “Is this a romantic thing?” I say something like, “What does that mean”. She comes back with “I don’t want to date anyone from work”. This will be a recurring theme. I don’t know what to do at this point. Anyway, she agrees to go as friends, but the next day she is visibly sick and I tell her not to worry about it.
March-May 2005: We start to work closer together (in proximity and in what we do). She acts pretty cold to me, but my desire for her just continues to grow.
June-August 2005: Things start to warm up. We talk more and joke around. Several times a day we have prolonged eye contact, without anything being said. Just passing by in the hall or something like that.
Important Event # 3 – August 2005: One day out at a bar with her and co-workers, some ******* comes over to our table and starts rudely hitting on her. He also drinks from our pitchers of beer without asking. I don’t say anything. Finally, she tells him to leave. When he hesitates, I just kind of go off and say “She said get the **** out of here.” He goes ballistic, saying he wants to fight me. I just ignore it. His friends later apologize and get him out of there.
August-September 2005 – Our relationship stays pretty much the same as it was in the months previous, but I just can’t get over the desire.
Important Event # 4 – September 2005: While at the same bar where the incident took place, it comes out that she was furious with me for interjecting myself in that way. I say I was just acting how I felt, but apologize if it made her annoyed, angry, etc. She says, “It’s OK, I actually just decided to forgive you yesterday.” WTF?? Also this night she tells me that I am funny, witty, and really smart. Whatever. Later in the night, I get a bit too drunk. I hug her from behind, turn her around and say something stupid, I don’t remember exactly what. In any event, It ends with the second case of “no one from work”. I say, “maybe one day…” She says, “maybe one day.” I leave it at that. When some guy starts hitting on her later I just decide to leave.
Important Event # 5 – October 2005: She learns that I am leaving the job in two weeks. During this period we begin to have stranger interactions. We brush arms a lot. She stands closer to me than usual. However, after being offered a lot of money to stay, I decide to stay. Apparently, no one told her about this. I learn later that she had been under the impression that I was still leaving and didn’t even say goodbye to me on what would have been my last day. I was under the impression she knew I wasn’t leaving so I can’t remember if it was me or her who left first that day.
October-January 2005: We continue to joke around with each other and have moments of brief bodily contact. Way more than the random accidents that happen with other people.
Important Event # 6 – Dec 30 2005 – I find a good time to ask her through email what her plans are for New Year’s. She gives me the worst possible answer. In summary, ‘I have plans, so don’t invite me anywhere, but I don’t know what they are yet, so I’m not inviting you’. That hurts, but it was my pre-New Year’s resolution to do what I was about to do. At the end of the day she says goodbye and leaves. A few seconds later I follow her into the hall, no one else is around. I call her back and say to her, “I’m just going to pretend that it’s New Year’s Eve at Midnight.” Then I try to kiss her. She turns her head to give me the cheek, I don’t accept it. We look at each other for a couple seconds and she says in a feeling sorry for you tone, “No one I work with”.
Where things stand right now: Jan-Feb 2006: Things get busy at work. I get a promotion and start to take on a lot more higher-level responsibilities. Our relationship is OK, in that semi-friend gray area. I’m pretty sure she’s sleeping with someone, but not in a committed relationship.
Important Event # 6 – April or May 2006: She will be leaving. She is now in the process of looking for another job.
Here is where I could use some honest advice. What do I do her last day. Why not just go for it again, what do I have to lose? Does anyone have any suggestions on how exactly I should do it?
Anyway, thanks for reading my admittedly pathetic oneitis story. Any comments/advice are welcome but try to go easy on the “just bang ten other chicks and you’ll forget about her”. I just don’t think I’m the type of person who would/could do that.