My revelation - The Death of Niceman (and what happened)

[Dysfunctional]

If you don't have the time or you're just too lazy to read iy all please jump to "The only problem is..." in the end.

Sorry for typos and wierd sentence-build. I haven't written anyting longer than ten words in english at a time since I finsihed high school.

This is my story:

Some time ago I downloaded a bundle of "how to get girls" eBooks, some titled "Penis Enlargement" (I'm not joking ) and "Double Your Dating" (0 dates times 2 still equals 0 dates), mostly as a joke seeing as how many geeks read this and still never get girls - I wanted to read stupid advice and laugh my ass off.

Anyway I didn't open these files for like a month.

When I finally did I didn't start with the ones mentioned, no need to even open those for a laugh
I opened the one named "What Girls Are Looking For". It had three passages, one about confidence, one about the 30-second rule (not sure if it's true tough) and finally the one about that girls looove a bad boy. Recently a friend of mine had told me this and a girl i had met a couple of times really seemed to like me. I automatically treat(ed) girls like crap if I want(ed) them to back off - She never backed off at all, just seemed to like me more.

Hm, I thought. There must be truth to this.

I sat up all night reading a bunch of stuff about this (how i found SoSuave) and I'm not the learn-by-reading type at all. This is what I learned:

1. Be a bad Boy, don't do stuff for them!
2. Smile lot's!
3. Be confident!
4. Girls DON'T take the first step. Like they may get really close, but you have to hug them.
5. Kino rules!
6. You ain't got nothing to lose!

Now I was (yes, WAS ) a nice guy - "Can you hand me that?", "I'm broke and I'm soo hungry *puppy eyes*", "I'm gonna die, I need a kidney". I was like "Of course (Booya, I'm soo in right now)" all the time. I never smile, dunno why really and I'm a bit shy so I never dared take the first step (like once with that girl i didn't like and I was drunk as hell). And of course I was SO amazingly scared to death of getting a no - I still am a little but I need more than two days for that one

So I wanted to put these theories to the test, right? And so I did. I'm a extremely social guy and I love getting to know people. That has resulted in me getting ti know like all of the people at work, including the girls. I always could tell if I'm liked or not and the girls missed me like a lot when I was on sick leave for a couple of days.

Ok, so they like me. That's good! Well well. From time to time I had a little kino with them so that was already in place.

So I came to work and sat down to eat some lunch when one of the girls comes in at the same time and sits down next to me. A couple of us make some small talk whilst eating and I picked up the paper to read the comics. Two seconds later she starts reading the comics as I'm holding them up. Since she was close to me at the time I had a hard time concentrating. (Pretty hot, amazing ass) So out of nowhere I throw the newspaper on the table and go like "What the hell! I can't concentrate with you hanging over my shouler! Take the goddamn paper, I'll take and read another one instead!". After some more chit-chat she leaned towards me, put her head on my shoulder and went like "Can you wash my cup, please! *puppy eyes*" She had a cast on one of her arms. Any normal guy would have said "Yes! Of course! (Booya, my time to shine!)". I just said "No way! I'm eating right now so you can wash you own damn cup!" So she washed her cup real clumsy, I even thought about interrupting her mid-wash with something like "Girl you suck! Gimme that!" but I was eating and didn't want to push it. Still had no idea if it was working or not. Later she asked me to go with her to the store and stuff, of course I said no again and again.

Then I noticed how great it had worked! As I had sat down for a cup of coffe she sat next to me, leaned towars me with head on shoulder and stuff - I didn't embrace her. Later, same thing - I embraced her. Then she came, again and again and again. All like "Please hug me, accept me, LOVE ME!". OMG, i thought, this is GOLD!

Then when we got off (work, that is ) She was talking to this guy (Typical Alpha male, gets all the girls etc. and she's like in love with him) and I just went "Hey! Let's get going!" and she said just to this guy "I have to go now! Bye!", interrupting their conversation and all. He's been pretty angry with me since i started working my magic.

Anyway. At work today, other stuff was yesterday, she was there again. This time there were other girls there too one that I know is in to me (A) and one i was a bit unsure about(B). B was all "Hii! *look at me!*" when she saw me. That's setteled then And let's call the third girl (cast girl) C. I'm not gonna tell the whole story. Basic results: A was almost pissed with me (some days before I was like a puppy around her, a female friend at work told me) for ignoring her (And even said it to my face! What a lady!)and started talking to this other guy in front of me to make me jelaous. (I still smiled at her and said hello n' stuff) B starded hitting on me in a way which could not be mistaken and C actually sat down at my workplace taking my seat and all, making small talk to the guy next to me while I was watching. I was eating at the same time in the next room. This was at the same time when A was talking to the guy in the other next room.

Basically I was enjoying lasagna and watching two girls trying to make me jelaous. Part of me was laughing but at the same time another part of me was thinking that I was in over my head here. My hands were shaking. Probably the 4-6 cups of coffe I had to drink to even have the possibility of ignoring these girls, but nevertheless shaking

And I just discovered all of this just over 48 hrs ago, WOW! It's crazy!

The only problem is that I'm head over heels for A (smart, beautiful and what a personality!)and therefore i can't keep my cool when being around her - When she confronted me about ignoring her i immediately said "I'm sorry!" (so WRONG) and got whipped. We talked a bit later and I asked her out. She said yes. (Of course) But what I'm really concerned about is the fact that I'm scared of losing her, which increases the odds for her blowing me off since I'm gonna have a really hard time blowing her off if she's using me. But I really DON'T want to lose her, she's LTR material! Not a flaw so far, and I usually find them as reasons for not taking a chance.

So what should I do? I mean, I understand that to get her I have to be willing to throw it all to hell, but what can I do (for example on our date) to avoid even the slightest risk of her not wanting to fight for my love?

 

[amethyst]

Hey bro, I wish I could help ya out but: A. I would get munched by the admins because I have been going too post happy. B. I think this is something that needs to be more personal (MSN, Yahoo or aim). and finaly C. I haven't been in a LTR in a loooooooooong time .

But what I can offer you is the chance to talk it over with me if you feel like it, and maybe I could give you some outside perspective, but remember that I am just a newbie with a lot of life experiance...

What I am getting at is that you can count on me as a friend if you need to talk anything over.

Tell me if you have any instant messanger program so we can talk...

Till then hope eveything goes to plan.

Amethyst

EDIT: By the way I am outta town from the 20th to the 26th so if I don't get back to ya during those dates you know why

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Originally posted by Dysfunctional
But what I'm really concerned about is the fact that I'm scared of losing her, which increases the odds for her blowing me off since I'm gonna have a really hard time blowing her off if she's using me. But I really DON'T want to lose her, she's LTR material! Not a flaw so far, and I usually find them as reasons for not taking a chance.

So what should I do? I mean, I understand that to get her I have to be willing to throw it all to hell, but what can I do (for example on our date) to avoid even the slightest risk of her not wanting to fight for my love?

You are putting to much into this one girl, if you keep having the attitude that you need to impress her for her to keep going out with you, you have already lost her. Treat her just like you treated the girl with the cast. If it helps think of one of her flaws and that should knock her off of that pedestal you put her on, and that should help your relationship last, I hope this helps.

 

[DinoCassanova]

The only problem is that I'm head over heels for A (smart, beautiful and what a personality!)and therefore i can't keep my cool when being around her - When she confronted me about ignoring her i immediately said "I'm sorry!" (so WRONG) and got whipped. We talked a bit later and I asked her out. She said yes. (Of course) But what I'm really concerned about is the fact that I'm scared of losing her, which increases the odds for her blowing me off since I'm gonna have a really hard time blowing her off if she's using me. But I really DON'T want to lose her, she's LTR material! Not a flaw so far, and I usually find them as reasons for not taking a chance.

So what should I do? I mean, I understand that to get her I have to be willing to throw it all to hell, but what can I do (for example on our date) to avoid even the slightest risk of her not wanting to fight for my love?


>>> I did skip pretty much to the part you told us we could skip to, sorry bout that. But I skimmed the rest; I get the general drift of it. Well, my friend, if you really DON'T (your caps) want to lose her, and you think she's truly LTR-material, then you should see to it that you don't lose her. Don't get "one-itis" with this girl , but at the same time, take her out and treat her nice. Like a lady, if that's indeed what she is. Chivalry isn't dead. Sure it's been on life support for awhile , but it's not dead. Do the right things when you go out with her. Be a gentleman. Just don't come off like a p^ssy or a puppy dog who's willing to do anything just to get to spend more time with her.

If she starts getting, well, what I call "out of pocket" (sorry, that's American slang, you might say out of line, or really b*tchy) , not that that is likely to happen on a first date but it WILL eventually, you will have to be really cool about it. That's what she'll be looking for, even if she doesn't realize it. That's when she'll be "testing" you, pushing your buttons, to see whether you're a man, or a doormat like so many other guys have probably been for her. That's the essence of what this is all about really. At least in my opinion. Refuse to become whipped. If she's giving you a really hard time one night (now, this is down the road a bit in your relationship for instance, not right away) and you guys are out having dinner, for instance, you just stop eating and you say This date is over. We're going home. YOU be the one who calls the shots. Create drama. Women feed off having drama in their lives. She'll call you later that very night to apologize for being a b*tch. And that's just one small example of how you should be if / when you get your relationship going with her. Other guys could give you a million others, but it really doesn't matter once you understand the principle. The transformation in you comes from the inside. Not just through reading, but through truly taking to heart and internalizing what is read.

If you really have feelings for her, go after her. And like I said, treat her like a lady. But if / when she eventually acts up on you, put her in her place. If you can do that, you can and will keep her interested, and keep your relationship lively as well.

~Dino

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Originally posted by DinoCassanova
I did skip pretty much to the part you told us we could skip to, sorry bout that. But I skimmed the rest; I get the general drift of it. Well, my friend, if you really DON'T (your caps) want to lose her, and you think she's truly LTR-material, then you should see to it that you don't lose her. Don't get "one-itis" with this girl , but at the same time, take her out and treat her nice. Like a lady, if that's indeed what she is. Chivalry isn't dead. Sure it's been on life support for awhile , but it's not dead. Do the right things when you go out with her. Be a gentleman. Just don't come off like a p^ssy or a puppy dog who's willing to do anything just to get to spend more time with her.

If she starts getting, well, what I call "out of pocket" (sorry, that's American slang, you might say out of line, or really b*tchy) , not that that is likely to happen on a first date but it WILL eventually, you will have to be really cool about it. That's what she'll be looking for, even if she doesn't realize it. That's when she'll be "testing" you, pushing your buttons, to see whether you're a man, or a doormat like so many other guys have probably been for her. That's the essence of what this is all about really. At least in my opinion. Refuse to become whipped. If she's giving you a really hard time one night (now, this is down the road a bit in your relationship for instance, not right away) and you guys are out having dinner, for instance, you just stop eating and you say This date is over. We're going home. YOU be the one who calls the shots. Create drama. Women feed off having drama in their lives. She'll call you later that very night to apologize for being a b*tch. And that's just one small example of how you should be if / when you get your relationship going with her. Other guys could give you a million others, but it really doesn't matter once you understand the principle. The transformation in you comes from the inside. Not just through reading, but through truly taking to heart and internalizing what is read.

If you really have feelings for her, go after her. And like I said, treat her like a lady. But if / when she eventually acts up on you, put her in her place. If you can do that, you can and will keep her interested, and keep your relationship lively as well.

~Dino

Good post man I agree

 

[amethyst]

Hey guys, why are you regurgitating material that has been already written in the forum? Man that is the biggest compilation of Sh^te I have ever heard... It was good advice in another context not for this particular situation. Even though you might not have realized it yet there are people behind the screens and what you say might affect them dramatically. Next time before you post think about the person before you start trying to use all the trendy abbreviations... Think before you post that’s the way to become a true DJ advisor. Problem with the fresh blood is that they have a tendency to forget that these are people you’re dealing with.

To tell you the truth I personally believe if you follow that advice you are going to screw up before you even get anywhere... like I said if you want to talk I am here for ya bro.

Good luck in your endeavors

Amethyst

EDIT: Sorry I was so harsh to you guys, its just that I lost a chance at a LTR because of BS advice like what you are offering. Thus making it personal in my mind. Again sorry but it had to be done. Sarge on brothers ^^

 

[Dysfunctional]

Hm.. Think I'm gonna play it by ear. As I wrote earlier, I work with her so I have the possibility of feeling around a bit, and then work out a play. But there's not a chance in hell that she's gonna whip me around. Maybe if I marry her

I'll let you know how it went later!

 

[Dysfunctional]

It's ****ing 4:20 AM right now and I only slept like 4.5 hrs last night.

We went out and all went well. Some time soon I'll write a big post about it.

Anyways i was an AFC 3 days ago and right now my self-confidence is as big as Texas. And I'm pretty sure I just scored a hot babe

Anyway I'll tell you one thing, all day at work she was hanging around different guys trying to make me jelaous, again.

The truth of the matter is this was hard on me because I really care. What I did was just to walk over to her office and ask her: "Coffe or beer?" She said coffe and I was cool as a whistle from then on, we were on

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Nice job man

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Lots of newbies come here after being sick of getting no where with their nice-guy routine and suddenly think they have to be a total "bad-boy" @sshole. That deal with the washing the cup for that girl was LAME!!! Not saying you should've washed it but she's got a freakin' cast on. It would've been better to make a joke about it.

Secondly, your putting too much time and thought into this girl. Yes your playing it cool right now, but when you spend more and more time with someone its inevitable that feelings will grow. That's where you make your money bro!! You've gotta learn to keep your feelings in check and keep her just as excited as you are now. Keep dating other girls or because otherwise its the quick road to one-itis, population: you and a million other AFC's



PIMP

 

[Dysfunctional]

Originally posted by Pimp-sicle
Lots of newbies come here after being sick of getting no where with their nice-guy routine and suddenly think they have to be a total "bad-boy" @sshole. That deal with the washing the cup for that girl was LAME!!! Not saying you should've washed it but she's got a freakin' cast on. It would've been better to make a joke about it.

Maybe that was a bit evil, maybe. Actually I did notice that I was becoming an *******, rather than the bad boy. So I was nice guy to some other girls later yesterday, but drew a line and it seemed to work as well. We'll see. BTW I have a crappy sense of humor, good for seeing if they like you but bad for jokes

Originally posted by Pimp-sicle
You've gotta learn to keep your feelings in check and keep her just as excited as you are now.

I know she's really into me, I'm really into her too. I do want her to be my GF, unless she's hiding something. Pretty much perfect for me so far.

Originally posted by Pimp-sicle
Keep dating other girls or because otherwise its the quick road to one-itis, population: you and a million other AFC's

I wouldn't mind going there with her but as long as we're not together, I'm still free to play around.