My relationship with HB is going nowhere....

[amoka]

In my previous post, I mentioned a girl who is giving me hard time to have sex with her. We have been seeing each other for almost a month now yet we have never had sex. I tried forgetting about her--thus giving her the gift of her missing me but it seems to be difficult since I see her every morning at the gym. Moreover, we kiss each other every single morning. It is very dissappointing knowing that I've gone this long with a lady without having sex with her.

 

[kyphan]

Either move on from her/ignore her/tell her you do not feel a real romantic connection, or keep seeing where this will go. Make up your mind and do it. It's only as hard as YOU make it.

 

[edmond]

In my previous post, I mentioned a girl who is giving me hard time to have sex with her. We have been seeing each other for almost a month now yet we have never had sex. I tried forgetting about her--thus giving her the gift of her missing me but it seems to be difficult since I see her every morning at the gym. Moreover, we kiss each other every single morning. It is very dissappointing knowing that I've gone this long with a lady without having sex with her.

What relationship ?
Move on.

 

[jophil28]

So I guess you sit at home trying to figure out how to raise her IL high enough that she will WANT to seduce you or at least give you the green light. You think about chocolates and flowers and movies and dinners and all ? Forget that stuff.

I am a little older that you, but since I was 20 I knew this - women will sleep with you when they feel a strong attraction AND they feel safe and comfortable with you . Then they will remove their clothes.
My guess is that she is comfortable with you in a kissy cuddly way but her IL is not high enough OR you are not setting up the time and place

We men forget this point.- we will have sex if we feel attraction only. Women need attaction PLUS a feeling of safety or comfort.
One sure fire way to up her IL is to be more unavailable ( women do this shyte instinctively .They call it "Playing hard to get " It is a pure manipulative mind game but that never worries women )
So play their game and check the result .Introduce some "scarcity" into your interaction with her. "Forget " to kiss her for a few days . Leave early. Bring another femme. You get the idea ?

Let me know how you fare..

Johnimo

 

[Sir Drinksalot]

The proper response would be to start nailing another broad (preferably two more). You don't need to end this one, see if it sets a competitive fire under her a$$. ("Daddy needs his MEDICINE...")

More importantly, it will keep your mind occupied on other things, and keep your ego afloat.

I hope you can handle it, I sense oneitis on your end.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

We have been seeing each other for almost a month now yet we have never had sex......,It is very dissappointing knowing that I've gone this long with a lady without having sex with her.

NEXT.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

When women make you wait for sex you are not their highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation of a friendship. It's sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to fukk you will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, fukk the sh!t out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work - women who want to fukk will find a way to fukk.

I agree with the takeaway methodology in principle, but in this girl's situation your effort will be better spent with more productive women. I think finding a woman who is unquestionably ready to go is time far better spent than trying to solve her head puzzles. I'm of the opinion that If a girl is that into you she'll fukk regardless of ASD or having her friends in the room videotaping it at a frat party. All women can be slvts, you just have to be the right guy to bring it out in them, and this happens before you go back to her place. If you have to plead your case cuddling on the bed or getting the occasional peck on the cheek, you need to go back to square one and start fresh.

AMOKA, you wouldn't have posted either of these threads if you had other options spinning at the same time. This girl would've been dropped along the wayside long before a month's time in favor of women who actually want to fukk you. How many opportunities have you voluntarily passed up in the hopes that your investment in this girl would bear fruit? It's time to cut your losses and sell this stock in favor of diversifying your portfolio. Spin More Plates.

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

Yeah dude, I suggest a few things.


1. Start seeing other girls and make sure that this one finds out. You don't HAVE to have sex with the other girls, the fact that you are dating means you may or may not be. This will drive the original girl NUTS wondering.

2. Stop kissing her like she's your little G/F when you get to the gym. You just have to break this routine immediately. When she comes up to you, say "Hi, can't talk I have to get in and out" and then run off to the treadmil or whatever.

3. If you two are declaratively monogamous, in other words, she's your little G/F, this is actually better. Tell her you're going to start seeing other people. Don't tell her why except to the extent that you aren't getting what you expect out of the relationship. She'll know why.

She's wearing the daddy pants right now man. She's got you in a semi-oneitis spell. In order to gain control of the situation you have to remove yourself from it entirely (she'll come back).

Someone on here once said that if the girl isn't giving you sex, she's getting it somewhere. That may be something to keep in mind.

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

NEXT.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

Rollo - Does this mean you should nail a girl the first time you see her or do you still prescribe to the 2-3 date mindset?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

3 Strikes rule. If a woman is not intimate with you within 3 dates, you are not her first priority. In my rulebook that doesn't necessarily make her an automatic NEXT, but it does mean you should be entertaining other, better prospective women and/or spending time with plates that have a proven IL (i.e. you've had sex with them prior)

 

[KarmaSutra]

I tried forgetting about her

No you haven't. At the very least be honest with yourself. If you tried at any length to forget her she would be gone.

giving her the gift of her missing me but it seems to be difficult since I see her every morning at the gym. Moreover, we kiss each other every single morning. It is very dissappointing knowing that I've gone this long with a lady without having sex with her.

Realize this: You may be kissing her but someone else is fvcking her.

Go to the gym to work out not play Little house on the prairie. Completely disengage from this broad. See her for what she is, a c0cktease.

Hopefully you aren't rewarding this cvnt with gifts or money.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

She might not fukk you, she might not fukk me, but she will fukk someone.

 

[realsmoothie]

When women make you wait for sex you are not their highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation of a friendship. It's sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to fukk you will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, fukk the sh!t out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work - women who want to fukk will find a way to fukk.

If I'd read this a year ago I'd have replied with all manner of "oh that's bullsh*t" responses.

But my limited recent experience is proving otherwise. As I slowly progress from long-term AFC to, well, not sure what, I am so very quickly learning about chemistry. I've had many problems in the past just talking to women, so in recent occasions where I've managed to move things to the point where a particular chick knows I'm interested, I'm so nervous about moving things to a physical level that it takes FOREVER.

The result? These girls are having to wait while I work up the nerve to touch them, then finally kiss them, then touch a boob, and so on. The hilarious thing (after, of course) is that it is driving them NUTS!

These poor girls are having to put up with so much crap to get into my pants... and yet it still happens.

Example 1: First thing close to a "relationship" I had in like five years. Met a girl through work, nerdy but cute. We hang out with a bunch of friends for like six weeks going to the bar. I'd drink, we'd walk back to her place... and CHAT outside for like an hour while she waited for me to kiss her. Sometimes I'd go over for a movie, we'd chat, and it would get to like 5 in the morning before I'd have to leave and there'd be a peck on the cheek. Ugh.

After about six weeks, she was in my store and we were making plans... I turned away to grab something and I SWEAR I heard her say under her breath "and then I will f*cking rape you" or something to that effect. I go "what?" and she goes "nothing" with a funky smile.

Example 2: Little 20 year old I know from the bar. After a couple of times of drunk makeouts at the bar and her finally ditching her boyfriend, I manage to call her and say "I'm coming over for a movie". I get there. Little bit o kino, LOT of kino... for like four hours. It's like 1:30 in the morning before she pretty much rolls me on my back and starts kissing me... to really get a feel for how wierd this was, I'm 32 and she's 20, and she LOOKS about 16. About three hours later of touching her naughty parts she's like "COME TO MY ROOM ALREADY". Those panties come off and they're practically dripping.

Example 3: girl I met through girl #1. We went out and danced together, at the closing slow dance of the night I ground her almost to death to the point where when she stepped away she was breathing hard and saying something like "oh my god that was amazing". Dropped her off at home. Next time we see each other we end up back at her place. She's all quiet and mousy and loves Disney movies. Half way through "Hercules" (d'oh), we're cuddling and she turns and full on starts making out with me.. I'm like WTF where'd that agression come from and we keep making out. She starts grabbing my er, "junk", this goes on for like an hour because I'm freaking out (naturally), finally she's like "you're driving me CRAZY can we PLEASE go to the bedroom already".

Now if only I was even a tinier bit more agressive... I'd be rolling in it. :crazy:

Is there a point to all this, besides me making a fool out of myself? Yeah: that girls that are into you WILL go to all manner of ends to get you, even when they're quiet and or shy. Amoka, I really don't think this one is into you. If she really liked you she wouldn't play all these games. I mean, she might want you, but obviously she wants you as a social plaything MORE.

 

[BADA-BING]

Wow I am really questioning things with a recent chick I have been seeing.
I have had past relationships that took a month or month + 1/2 to bed the girl, and to tell you the truth the sex was not that great. They kinda layed there and did nothing.

The most recent girl I have been talking with is having me sleep over at her place and staying at mine for 2 weeks now. We have only been dating for 4 weeks total and nothing physical has happened yet. I mean we kiss and have made out a for a few minutes before she stops me and says that will lead to too much ( i.e. =sex).......I have made many attempts to try bed her but with no success. She says that she has had many other guys leave her and what not because she wanted to wait. I am sitting here wondering how long is this gonna take and is it worth my time and efforts to wait and see?

What is everyone else's expierience with chicks that wanna wait????

How do I respond to that? Just spin more plates??

 

[RedPill]

The most recent girl I have been talking with is having me sleep over at her place and staying at mine for 2 weeks now. We have only been dating for 4 weeks total and nothing physical has happened yet. I mean we kiss and have made out a for a few minutes before she stops me and says that will lead to too much ( i.e. =sex).......I have made many attempts to try bed her but with no success. She says that she has had many other guys leave her and what not because she wanted to wait. I am sitting here wondering how long is this gonna take and is it worth my time and efforts to wait and see?

Oh my God it might lead to... sex? Holy sh1t are you kidding me? SEX!? :nervous: Dude you could go to Hell for that, or get her pregnant or catch a venerial disease. Man you don't wanna get involved with that noise.

-------------

That's hilarious, the part about all the other guys leaving her. She's preparing herself for when you do the same thing. You should write her a thank you note for saving you all that time by telling you how it's gonna end. Maybe she's got a hot friend you can go bang.

 

[blueguy]

The most recent girl I have been talking with is having me sleep over at her place and staying at mine for 2 weeks now. We have only been dating for 4 weeks total and nothing physical has happened yet. I mean we kiss and have made out a for a few minutes before she stops me and says that will lead to too much ( i.e. =sex).......I have made many attempts to try bed her but with no success. She says that she has had many other guys leave her and what not because she wanted to wait. I am sitting here wondering how long is this gonna take and is it worth my time and efforts to wait and see?

You can't "wait and see." You have to pull back a little bit now, and push sexually forward. Make her horny so it is hard for her to stop you. Her worrying about you leaving her is a good thing. But the longer you wait, the less likely you are going to be able to have sex with her. Ironic it seems after what she said right? She is playing a game with you to stay in control of the relationship, and you are following through like her puppy dog. She knows she has you and does not have to open herself sexually to keep you. This is not a good thing. Because eventually another guy will push her buttons leading to sex despite what she says... and you will either be her friend... or gone.

Let her know with your words and actions in unison how important the sex is to you (this is the emotional pull). See how she reacts. She will likely entice you a little more sexually, at which point you need to push it.

 

[lookyoung]

3 Strikes rule. If a woman is not intimate with you within 3 dates, you are not her first priority. In my rulebook that doesn't necessarily make her an automatic NEXT, but it does mean you should be entertaining other, better prospective women and/or spending time with plates that have a proven IL (i.e. you've had sex with them prior)

I disagree with you on the statement of if she is not intimate with you within 3 dates, you are not her first priority. I believe 50-70% of the girls I banged, it was within 3 dates. There are a few woman that will not sleep with you within 3 dates no matter how much they like you. However amoka's case seems a bit extreme. 95% of woman are willing to fvck within 10 dates. The other 5% are extreme cases such as woman with mental issues.... rape, depression,etc......................

I totally agree that a girl doesn't bang you within 3 dates than you should be entertaining other woman. One of the best advice on this website when you posted that the person in the relationship that has options has the power.(The one that needs the other one less)



Amoka you need to start spinning plates....

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

I totally agree that a girl doesn't bang you within 3 dates than you should be entertaining other woman.

You should always be entertaining other women assuming you aren't in an LTR (and even then? )

One of the best advice on this website when you posted that the person in the relationship that has options has the power.(The one that needs the other one less)

NICEEEE. Yep, whoever needs the other person the least wears the daddy pants.

 

[hyperactive]

I don't think this is sound advice Rollo. I buy that it's something a man who wants to be a "DJ" or "player" should stick to, but I don't think it's a sound principle in and of itself as far as the question of women goes. For instance, the highest priority of a woman who makes a man wait for sex could be securing a lifelong relationship as opposed to a temporary fling that goes nowhere. Holding out could be her way of ensuring that she doesn't get used in this way. It may inconvenient for the "DJ" but it's a respectable stragedy.

The paradox of this damn game is that there are no rules. One has to take every woman induvidually. There may be certain guidlines that can give one an idea of how to proceed, but there are just so many exceptions to every rule. I have had girls find my boyish shyness, lack of self confidence and hesitancy cute and more importantly sexy. Now this is not the man I want to be, but there are girls out there that dig shy, frumpy guys with minimal self confidence. I've seen it happen numerous times and it has happened to me.

Every woman needs to be dealt with differently. That is the only rule. By making set rules of how to interact with women one is just setting themselves up for failure. Hey, not that I walk the walk, but I am improving.

 

[BADA-BING]

Hopeful loner and hyperactive I think you are onto something and i agree with you guys. I think that there are many exceptions to the rules and each women needs to be dealt with differentely on a case by case basis.

The girl I have been seeing is consistantly showing good signs of high interest and her actions lead me to believe that she is into me. With the one exception, no sex yet. She calls me all the time texts me,comes over, and counter offers dates and such. I think that she may be ensuring that I am not just another fling and will stick around for a possible LTR. We will see.

 

[Hitman10000]

Okay then, MOVE ON.