My relationship is probably over

[frivolousz21]

I wrote this on another website:


I think we are at the end.

So here is what is going on...I am 26 years old...I need to either go to college or just get a better job....I have a test to get into a union Friday its pretty damn promising.

I am still with the woman..but I think its just about done....its miserable...and my gut tells me...its not going to happen...I thought this one was it...I thought I found that great love...well I guess I was wrong...or maybe it was the wrong time.

Either way...it's going to end..and the pain will ensue...it always happens that way....we know how that goes...

If this does happen...which I am pretty sure it will. I know I have to cut off contact from her and move on...I will and act like she doesn't exist...

but I want to get my life on track....if I am going to be single again...it's time I build a great life for myself....it's time for me to grow up and move on.

any tips guys...

I hate heartbreak.




Not much more to add...accept I love the woman...but I took my blinders off and my mind tells me..is time to move on.

 

[OneEyedJack]

You didn't give any details about your gf situation, just your job situation.
And yout went all emo about the girl without telling us any useful info to give advice.

But if I were to guess, you are looking for internet strangers to give you permission to break up with her.

Permission granted.

 

[kdnash82]

I honestly would just break up with her. Grit your teeth and rip the band-aide off. It's inevitable anyway. Feels a lot better when you're the one doing the dumping than to get dumped.

Get out there and start spinning more plates immediately. Pushed past the urge to call her back by filling your head with other women and activities and most of all, your close friends.

Idle hands are a devil's playground, so find a new hobbie.

 

[frivolousz21]

7 and half months.

we just ended it..I know for my life...this had to be done.

It's going to hurt like all hell.

but I will be a better man for it

 

[Truman181]

Sounds a little too familiar doesn't it?

8 months ago you came on here having trouble with child custody problems with your ex...and what do you do? Jump right back into a relationship!

Dude, maybe you should ask yourself why you feel the need to constantly be in a relationship. Can't you have a fulfilling life just being on your own for awhile?

Think about it.


PS. I know what you're going through. I hate the heartache that comes with a break up. Just think of it this way. When a relationship goes sour, it's like soured milk. It's pointless to put it back in the fridge and hope the next time you reach for it, it won't be soured anymore. Say yes to fresh milk!

 

[frivolousz21]

Thanks...oh yea I know.

I know that I have a massive issue with being alone...and not always being loved by a woman...

this has been a never ending cycle so far.

and I haven't had one healthy relationship in my life so far.

Not a good combo.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Frivolous,
It's like the Measles Mate,we've all been there.However rest assured like Lili Marlene "Surely tomorrow you'll be blue,then for you a love that's new"Accept that love is an obsession and that obsessions are very hard to get rid of,however they can be sublimated or transferred to a new obsession,surprising how quickly you can forget with another girl in your arms...

 

[Truman181]

this has been a never ending cycle so far.

and I haven't had one healthy relationship in my life so far.

Not a good combo.

I hear you brother. Last year I thought I had met THE ONE. This girl actually GOT ME and no one ever gets me. We were together for 7 months too. And we were happy (downright GIDDY) for 90% of the time.

Then in the last month, it just fell apart. I honestly don't know why. It seemed I could do no right and everything turned into a fight.

And yes, this was far and away the HEALTHIEST relationship I've ever had even though it ended horribly and we don't ever speak.

So I have been in your shoes. Still am sometimes. Sometimes I think I just don't know how to have a healthy relationship. Then I remind myself that for the first 6 months with that girl, I did have a healthy, GOOD relationship.

That's what I want to get across to you. Though you have yet to find a lasting relationship, I'm sure that there have been moments in your past relationships that were downright "healthy".

 

[rocco]

from my so far limited experience in relationships (most my relationships last for at most a month). i've found it easier to get over a breakup when your the one that breaks up with her and it has to be because of something of low value from her to be the reason for the breakup, the more legitimate sounding reason for the break up the better. something that would damage her ego.

as evil as this sounds, ive learned this tactic from women doing it to me actually.

2 cents

 

[frivolousz21]

I hear you brother. Last year I thought I had met THE ONE. This girl actually GOT ME and no one ever gets me. We were together for 7 months too. And we were happy (downright GIDDY) for 90% of the time.

Then in the last month, it just fell apart. I honestly don't know why. It seemed I could do no right and everything turned into a fight.

And yes, this was far and away the HEALTHIEST relationship I've ever had even though it ended horribly and we don't ever speak.

So I have been in your shoes. Still am sometimes. Sometimes I think I just don't know how to have a healthy relationship. Then I remind myself that for the first 6 months with that girl, I did have a healthy, GOOD relationship.

That's what I want to get across to you. Though you have yet to find a lasting relationship, I'm sure that there have been moments in your past relationships that were downright "healthy".

This is identical to me.

Same here....we thought we were in some special world together...and it was the end all be all.

and then it just changed...and we couldn't really be happy together....

holding on to something that isn't working turns to fighting and misery.

Right now its day 1 and I am in the tank...I know as every day passes I will get better and healthier

 

[NewMan]

Get it together.

Yes, it can be tough - but think of all the new adventures and oportunities that await you.

Women are dream killers.

Move on, move up.

Now stop wallowing in your own stink and get moving.

 

[STR8UP]

I know you don't want to hear this, but have you ever considered that your unbridled optimism might be a bit of an issue for you?

Each time something like this happens you come around with a broken heart. A couple of weeks or a month later you are criticizing people who try to share their hard earned lessons as "bitter" and "cynical".

Sorry, I don't think there is any hope for you.

 

[frivolousz21]

she called me today and we talked about it ending.

She broke out in tears saying that about 3 months ago..she realized she wasn't enough for me.

and she never felt enough for me and I showed up...but didn't show up for her.

I can see that...

I don't feel as bad today as she does....I feel relief and grief and sorrow

 

[frivolousz21]

she called me today and we talked about it ending.

She broke out in tears saying that about 3 months ago..she realized she wasn't enough for me.

and she never felt enough for me and I showed up...but didn't show up for her.

I can see that...

I don't feel as bad today as she does....I feel relief and grief and sorrow

 

[jophil28]

She broke out in tears saying that about 3 months ago..she realized she wasn't enough for me.

Ha ! THis is a variation of, " It isn't you , it is me."

It is most likely that she just stopped "feeling it" for you for some reason. It is a rare woman who will say exactly that, so they tell you some BS about how they cannot live up to your expectations, or you deserve "better", or you and she "want different things" or are "on different journeys" or some such new agey crap.
Some women do not have a clue about how to act and grow a relationship with an adult male, They just want a "romance" not a relationship.

You can do better that this, my man.