My recent ex - what kind of whack job is this?

[Jitterbug]

We were together for 6 months. 3 months just dating, 3 exclusive. I dumped her when I found out about her victim mentality which was affecting our relationship (rape/incest victim apparently). We never had any serious fight but I had a gut feeling after certain talks that there's something terrible waiting for me if I continue this, so I bailed.

Then over the last few months, I've been getting extra info from people whom she's sought help from:

- The timings (as in times & dates) of some of the things she said were off by a few days to a couple of weeks.
- Some of her claims couldn't stand up to physical evidences.
- She's been telling people stories that are slightly different from each other.
- And most importantly, she's been telling stories of pain & sufferings that actually belong to other people who trusted her and shared them with her (she's very likeable and good at getting them out of people - except me coz I have no such story to share), passing them off as her own.

I'm reading up on bpdfamily.org articles but if she is one of those, she's more like one towards the friends (all female) she sought help from than towards me. Maybe it's because my inner Captain Save-A-Ho is very weak (she tried to bring him out many times) and I don't respond well to a victim mentality.

I'm over her but I want to warn others in our shared social circle that this girl cannot be helped by unqualified people.

 

[KontrollerX]

"And most importantly, she's been telling stories of pain & sufferings that actually belong to other people who trusted her and shared them with her"

Yeah my first Histrionic would rip off clever sayings from me and then pass them off as her own to other people.

Its a common thing that Cluster B does as they are so empty and without true personality.

They are basically an accumulation of past personality's of their many victims combined with the inherint behavior patterns of their disorder.

In other words the Cluster B personality is kind of like watching a movie in that the characters interact and talk but you know that its just a DVD and not real as in real people that can interact with you on the screen if you were to try and talk with them.

A DVD is basically just a slide show of continual entertaining pictures that gradually tell a story.

Someone else's story.

Its the same with Cluster B.

In a hilarious way they are kind of like the Shang Tsung character from the videogame series Mortal Kombat. Those that have played the game will get the joke.

"I found out about her victim mentality which was affecting our relationship (rape/incest victim apparently)."

If you met a real Cluster B its important to know that though this CAN BE TRUE it also equally MAY NOT BE TRUE.

Either way true or false them telling you this is just a means to lower your defenses so as to manipulate you easier.

 

[Jitterbug]

I have no doubt that she did suffer from some form of serious abuses as a child, but I don't trust any version of what she's told me and other people.

I had a talk with a mutual female friend who tried to help this one. I told her it's like the Joker in Batman: the Dark Knight telling different stories about how he got his scars. There's no doubt that he's got those scars and that something really fvcked up must have happened, but none of his stories can be believed.

Either way true or false them telling you this is just a means to lower your defenses so as to manipulate you easier.

That was precisely what got my defense up. It was actually down when she, on various occasions, somehow got me to believe that her family is a traditional country Christian one where everyone gets along nicely, parents are still together etc. I'm drawn towards women from a good family background (not necessarily religious, I'm not one myself) with loving parents, since I'm from the same. I'd walk away from broken birds.

So you reckon she's one of those? Maybe she's still a trainee. She's only 22 after all.

 

[Jeffst1980]

The main thing is that you got out of the relationship unscathed and didn't try to "save" her. Kudos to you--most guys would immediately try to "fix" her and believe they were doing a noble thing.

Relationships are not charity; they should actually be somewhat selfish endeavors. You should be looking out for your own happiness. The only people that can help her are those qualified to do so...although if she truly has BDP, it's much easier said than done, unfortunately.

One benefit of reading this forum is that you become a bit clairvoyant over time; you can see where a situation is headed without having to experience it firsthand.

 

[jophil28]

So you reckon she's one of those? Maybe she's still a trainee. She's only 22 after all.

Women entering an LTR will sometimes tell their guy a 'victim story'. Sane women do so with caution, and only after they feel safe and comfortable with him.
The wackjobs cannot wait to lay it on ya. Their most popular sad story of all is the incest/rape/molestation tragedy, and there is NO way to determine whether it is true in part or wholly. However it is always delivered with the appropriate facial contortions and the mandatory tears.

Last year , I started to teach a 29 year old 'special needs' school teacher to dance ballroom. She was smokin' hot and lots of fun and very smart.
About three months into her training she turned up for her lesson one sunday with coffee and donuts and as we sat and talked she blurted out her own version.. , " I was sexually molested when I was young... I have never told anyone else...yadda ..." SHe tilted forward into me in tears.
I have no clue why she told me.
She had a pvssy for a boyfriend who she claimed was in her life to fix her floorboards and then two weeks later she agreed to marry him.
She started to become unreliable and cancel with only two hours notice, so I let her go and gave her slot to someone else.

There are some wounded birds out there, men , and some of them are teaching your children.

 

[Heretolearn]

"And most importantly, she's been telling stories of pain & sufferings that actually belong to other people who trusted her and shared them with her"

Yeah my first Histrionic would rip off clever sayings from me and then pass them off as her own to other people.

Its a common thing that Cluster B does as they are so empty and without true personality.

They are basically an accumulation of past personality's of their many victims combined with the inherint behavior patterns of their disorder.

In other words the Cluster B personality is kind of like watching a movie in that the characters interact and talk but you know that its just a DVD and not real as in real people that can interact with you on the screen if you were to try and talk with them.

A DVD is basically just a slide show of continual entertaining pictures that gradually tell a story.

Someone else's story.

Its the same with Cluster B.

In a hilarious way they are kind of like the Shang Tsung character from the videogame series Mortal Kombat. Those that have played the game will get the joke.

"I found out about her victim mentality which was affecting our relationship (rape/incest victim apparently)."

If you met a real Cluster B its important to know that though this CAN BE TRUE it also equally MAY NOT BE TRUE.

Either way true or false them telling you this is just a means to lower your defenses so as to manipulate you easier.

shang tsung lol - thats it. I am still angry that she stole my identity and gets away with others queuing up for her gah

 

[Jitterbug]

One benefit of reading this forum is that you become a bit clairvoyant over time; you can see where a situation is headed without having to experience it firsthand.

Indeed. I met this one after spending lots of time reading about crazies on this forum and the power & importance of Walking Away instead of playing Captain Save-A-Ho. That I'm very thankful for.

The wackjobs cannot wait to lay it on ya. Their most popular sad story of all is the incest/rape/molestation tragedy, and there is NO way to determine whether it is true in part or wholly. However it is always delivered with the appropriate facial contortions and the mandatory tears.

The whole act certainly got me fooled at first, but my gut told me that there was something not quite right... After hearing the story first time, I felt terrible but it wasn't the kind of feeling you have when your loved ones are suffering. It was more like an undefinable fear that I'm a target for some horrible manipulation that makes no sense. So I did what King Arthur and his knights would do: Run Away!!!

Last year , I started to teach a 29 year old 'special needs' school teacher to dance ballroom. She was smokin' hot and lots of fun and very smart.
About three months into her training she turned up for her lesson one sunday with coffee and donuts and as we sat and talked she blurted out her own version.. , " I was sexually molested when I was young... I have never told anyone else...yadda ..." SHe tilted forward into me in tears.
I have no clue why she told me.

Oh man, this describes my ex perfectly! That's exactly what she did to this certain group of people who eventually told me the details after I broke up with her. According to them, she showed up at class one day in tears and just spilled it all out. Shortly after that, she laid it on me one night when we were half naked at her place.

There are some wounded birds out there, men , and some of them are teaching your children.

And back to that theory of yours... My ex babysits for 2 families. Another broken bird I dated is a primary school teacher. Scary sh!t... If I have kids of my own, I'll keep them clear away from any type of day care.