My real reason for being shy

[MixMaxster]

I came across a situation where I was able to COMPLETELY talk to this girl and ask her things and have a great C&F converation going. But it came to the point where I thought about asking her for a date and I froze. I wondered how I was able to get to this point ONLY to freeze right then and there, then I thought about it and it made sense. I was scared of how things would go. It would seem that I was scared I wouldn't know how to talk to her because I never know what to say with people and when I do have a conversation, it's very rare that it actually goes on and on.

I wonder, could the fact I am shy not have to do with her rejecting me, but more in the fact that I don't know how to keep the conversation going and be interesting? ANd that made the most sense to me.

Now that I know this, how do I fix it?!

Guys?

 

[david90]

there are a lot of bumps to becoming a dj. number closing is one of the bump. I don't have any tips or tricks except to tell u to just do it.

 

[I-am-someone]

Well, there is a trick...
Stop being such a pvssy and be a man!
You have nothing to lose by asking her!

That you "cannot keep the conversation going and be interesting" is bullsh1t! Everyone can do that. You just need to be genuinely interested in the other person and they need to be interested in you. After you know eachother a bit better, you'll find things to talk about no matter what.

Even so, there are some pretty good tips in the DJ Bible for conversational skills. One of the tips that has helped me get out of awkward situations several times already is A Turtle Name Adrian - Conversation To Her Heart.

But again, the point is to be a man. So let the testosterone rage through that body of yours, the hell with all risks, just do it!

 

[DeathDealer]

Here's a tip. DON'T FORCE YOURSELF TO ASK HER QUESTIONS IF YOU ARE SHY. Do what you want at the same time being a gentleman.

 

[Kidd]

Shy is another word for fear.

What are you afraid of? She is a girl, not a bear that is going to claw off your sack.

Read the bible.

 

[So Many Ways]

Dude...you already did the hard part!

You were able to go up to her and start a conversation and keep it going.

All you need to do is ask! There is nothing complicated about it, just do it.

Blaming your lack of asking on being shy is an excuse.

 

[MixMaxster]

Thanks guys for the heads up,

I'll read that post I-am-someone and as for me, I don't like making excuses. I'll be honest guys, this past little while I've been doing a LOT more than I normally would have and my life as a result is becoming everything that I ever hoped for.

I don't know exactly what I DO per se, but what I DO know though is that I'll be generally interested in a girl and tune in on her (don't look around carelessly, no flinching, no twitching, no nervous ticks) and I'll sit there finding myself kind of puzzled on how to make things more interesting.

For me, I just try to keep things interesting and am not always sure how to do that. It doesn't just stop there, it happens with my friends too. SO obviously something needs to be done if I can't talk to my buds neither don't you think?

 

[I-am-someone]

Conversations don't always need actual interesting content.
I've had conversations with no content that lasted 20 minutes, and most of my conversations with content only last like 10 minutes, because what I tell them usually becomes too complex to grasp after that

But in any case, just try talking about less interesting stuff and make them interesting while talking. An important part of that is to improve on the way you say things, by using more variance in your voice as well as smiling while you're talking.

To give you an estimate in the way that people percieve someone with a smile and someone without a smile:
Two weeks ago, I ran around smiling all day long with no problems really apparent in my life. Everybody I met wanted to hang around me and girls were constantly looking for eyecontact with me.
Today, I feel like crap. I'm unable to smile without horribly faking it. When I walk around now, people are just ignoring me... I am one of the great masses of depressed people.

Smiling is important. It's one of the basics of being a DJ, but you need to have something in life to smile about, otherwise it's just a fake smile.

 

[DaneB]

This is what I always do...

1. Let the situation present itself. Don't try to force it.
2. Think of the situation logically.
Ex. Im not going to show up with flours or a poem for her the first time I talk with her.
3. Think of any shared interests u might have (classes, music taste, clothes, food, enivornment around u)

 

[DaneB]

Sorry I dont even know why the crap that was posted, anyway...

This is what I always do...

Before I even pursue her I try to find out if she even has a boyfriend from somebody. If you can ask your friends to see if they know and if you have a really good lady friend have her get the info from her. I find that doing this is really much easier that way u know that you're not going to waste your time.


1. Let the situation present itself. Don't try to force it (don't bring it out of nowhere without building any rapport)

2. Think of the situation logically (don't show up with flowers or a poem)

3. Think of any shared interests u might have (classes, music taste, clothes, food, enivornment around u) that way its easier for u to get a conversation started


4. Chat her up and be cool. Make sure to listen to what she has to say in order to advance the conversation

5. Whatever you want to do with her try to get the conversation going in that direction (ie. ask about ice skating ---> u guys go)

6. Tell yourself that if the conversation is going good and u feel positive vibes that you are going to ask her out.

7. Say "Would you like to go ice skating? Give me your number and maybe we can hit the ice" (In order to do this get mad at yourself and refuse to back down, even if you have to blurt it out of your mouth (remember "Just Do It!"))

8, Regain your composure (take a few deep breaths and exhale) and then say "Nice talking with you. I will call you later and we can figure out what time to go ice skating (or wherever you wanted to take her)."

Some IMPORTANT THINGS
1. Stay cool at all costs
2. Dont come off as desparate
3. Split as soon as you get her number because u dont wanna ruin your chances that early in the game
4. Try to take the process step by step and dont rush it.

I hope this helps you because it really has helped me to think of asking her out a whole lot more rationally.

 

[DaneB]

Sorry its 3 am where I live so Im tired. I meant to say...

I hope this helps you because it really has helped me to keep my cool and to think rationally and not panic when Im about to ask out a chic. Just remember...

To think of it either one of these ways...