My Radically Changed Attitudes About Sex

[One on One]

Ever since I've been coming to this site, my notion of sex being a sacred thing has gradually dwindled down, now to the point that I'm starting to think I'd bang any hot girl I meet. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. On the one hand, I'm more open to my own sexuality, but, on the other hand, I might be ignoring the emotional impact of sex. One thing I know I'll never want to do is intentionally hurt a girl's feelings and, if I accidentally lead her to believe we are in love when we have sex, then I would have failed in this regard. Basically, I still seek to be a "nice guy" in the player's sense of the word. I don't want to be a jackass.

With all that being said, I'm still a 21 year old virgin. I have never even kissed a girl, as pathetic as that sounds. However, doors are opening up to me through this site. I am learning the player way and I believe I have the looks, charm, and intelligence to go a long way in this player's game. I feel that the sky is the limit for me. I could bang a girl every night once I get my A game going. I'm not sure if this is a good goal to have, though. Am I hurting people's feelings by doing this?

It's tough to understand such a radical change in mindset over the course of a year. A year ago, I would never consider having sex with a girl before marriage. I even used to have the idea that I wanted my first kiss be with the girl that I married. Obviously, I realized the first kiss thing was completely unreasonable. After a while, I started to realize you have to mess around a little bit to find what you want, but, even a few weeks ago, I was unsure about sex. Now, I am pretty darn sure that I will go ahead and lose my virginity to the next nice, hot girl I feel a little connection too. I'd do it on the first date if the chance came up and the chemistry was right.

I don't know if anyone can give me answers, but surely others have dealt with the same issues. I don't want to be a real jerk and hurt people, but, at the same time, I have to be realistic and look out for myself. How can one resolve this?

 

[prophet123]

I hear ya.

On the one hand you have your morals that you have obtained in one way or another and that you hold in high regard.

On the other hand, you have the reality of life.

Thats a tough one my friend, one that I have to struggle with myself. I won't go through all the action-packed adventure-filled details that it took for me to come up with my answer, so I'll just give you what came to me: Live for the moment.

Sounds cheesy, but it works for me. Right now I'm against having sex before marriage, but then again, I'm only 17. I have decades upon decades, barring some terrible mishap, to live, grow, and eventually change. Becuase change is a good thing. But don't get me wrong, morals are important (for you, and you alone) to have, and some things for some people just shouldn't be compromised, no matter how hot the girl is.

So get out there and go with the flow. And for God's sake, kiss a girl!

 

[LouieVaton Don]

That is how most DJ's start out. Just look at it like this you either play or get played. Im tired of being played, very tired of not living the way Ive always wanted. How about you?

You see an oppurtunity, you take it. You dont see an oppurtunity, you make it. Dont worry about being a jackass, nobody else is worrying about how they're acting. Your actually a great guy and you know it so why worry.

 

[OddTech]

Originally posted by dave134
I don't know if anyone can give me answers, but surely others have dealt with the same issues. I don't want to be a real jerk and hurt people, but, at the same time, I have to be realistic and look out for myself. How can one resolve this?

Look at it this way Dave, just like in war, people are going to die. In relationships, some people are going to get hurt. That is the fact of life.

As an example, I have this one girl that I met over the internet. It soon became apparent that we weren't going to see each other due to the lack of chemistry. I subsequently took her off my AIM list and never bother to talk to her again. Some time later, she confronted me on AIM and asked me why I was being so rude (by ignoring her). She went on a spiel about how hurt she was and how I must be doing this to every girl that LJBF me. She actually made me feel guilty of hurting her and other girls when I kicked them out of my life.

But you know, I told her that rejection is a fact of life. I gotta look out for myself too. Time stops for no man. What about my wants? I don't want a AIM penpal, I want a girl. She finally said that she understood and left me alone. Sheesh, girls could be so emotional even when they even haven't met the guy yet!!

 

[krd]

Yeah, I think lately my attitudes about sex have changed. I, like you, used to think that I would want to wait until marriage. But now I don't know if marriage really sounds that appealing anyway. I guess I could relax my morals a bit.

But one thing that's not talked about often enough on this site is STDs. You say you'd "bang" a girl on the first date? I'd say that's pretty risky. Especially if she's very attractive; who knows how many other guys she's been with? Keep in mind, we still haven't found a cure for HIV and AIDS, even though nobody talks about it anymore. And condoms certainly aren't foolproof. So at the very least, I think it would be best to get to know a girl a little better before you jump into bed with her.

 

[Howie Farkes]

Originally posted by krd
You say you'd "bang" a girl on the first date? I'd say that's pretty risky. Especially if she's very attractive; who knows how many other guys she's been with?

Dude, ugly girls have probably slept with just as many guys and are just as likely or unlikely to have STDs.

So at the very least, I think it would be best to get to know a girl a little better before you jump into bed with her.

Unless "get to know a girl a little better" actually means "we both go to the clinic to get checked for STDs" then what difference does it make whether you jump into bed on the 1st date or the 10th? Those STDs aren't magically being cured the longer you know her.

Just something to think about.

 

[krd]

Originally posted by Howie Farkes
Dude, ugly girls have probably slept with just as many guys and are just as likely or unlikely to have STDs.

Can't argue with you there. Even ugly girls get more than good looking guys with no game. But I doubt dave134 wants to sleep with an ugly girl.

Unless "get to know a girl a little better" actually means "we both go to the clinic to get checked for STDs" then what difference does it make whether you jump into bed on the 1st date or the 10th? Those STDs aren't magically being cured the longer you know her.

Just something to think about.

No, but by getting to know her, you get to know more about her and hopefully get a better sense of what type of girl she is, if she would sleep around, etc. Now there's no way of telling this for sure and she may be very good at lying or covering it up. Actually, going to the clinic to get checked is not a bad idea. However, in all practicality, I'm simply reminding him to be careful.

 

[One on One]

I'm not saying I don't have standards. I definitely wouldn't sleep with an ugly girl and I probably wouldn't sleep with a girl on the first date. However, if we went out for coffee or something for a few hours then came back and watched a movie, I could see myself sleeping with her because I got to know her well enough. If I just met a girl at the club, I probably wouldn't take it too far.

I guess I'm still where I started. As long as I don't intentionally hurt a girl's feelings, I think I'm doing the right thing.

 

[Allstar69]

bro you are a pathetic geek in my opinion. you are missing out on so much fun its sicking. go take a shower, shave, brush your teeth, buy some rubbers and start getting laid. do you honestly feel better about yourself, masterbating on a nightly basis just to appease your sexual appetite, and if your not masterbating then your working on premature prostate cancer, cause studies show without regular flow you will prematurely develope it. stop being a nice guy (more like faggot) and start being a man or dont go on this site agian.

 

[digitalrat]

Originally posted by dave134
Ever since I've been coming to this site, my notion of sex being a sacred thing has gradually dwindled down, now to the point that I'm starting to think I'd bang any hot girl I meet.

That was funny. Go out and have fun while you can. Sex and having "feelings" for each other is not related at all. Don't listen to the media.

 

[ChevyLover]

I've had the same problem too man. I'm 18, I've done more than kiss a girl, everything but stick it in(but fvck i've come close - always circumstances where I can't - coaches other people around....). Anyways, I've also come to the conclusion that there is no way i'm waiting for marriage to fvck. I mean in this day and age, that is pretty much impossible. Everyone is having sex before marriage, and if you don't chances are very good that you will never get the girl that you want. I mean how many women out there are waiting until they are married to have sex? That cuts down a guys selection A LOT! Maybe 1 in 1000 girls wait for marriage before having sex now adays i'm guessing.

(side note - 69% of statistics are made up on the spot...)

Now I'm just playing girls and getting closer and closer to sex, got a number from one chick after fooled around with her a lot on the first time meeting her - if I was to go see her tonight I could fvck her no problem. She lives like 3 hours away though so i'm going to wait a while instead...

You aren't where you started pal. You've made a decision that will let you stop holding back and just go for it.

I still think that it might be bad to have sex before marriage, but as long as I don't commit adultery(fvck some guys wife, or fvck around on my wife), I figure its not so bad. I'm definitely going by the "No glove no love" rule though. A friend of mine just bare backs it with this slutty chick all the time..."shes on the needle man!" yeah well that doesn't mean you can't get a disease you fvckin moron. I'm plannin on fvckin her pretty soon cuz she's into me and good lookin...

As far as being a jerk and hurting people - don't worry about it. If she goes for fvcking you, its her own damn fault - if she feels like you used her afterwards, she has no right because you never MADE her do anything. If she biatches about it, just ignore her.

Oh and Allstar - quit raggin on the guy. He has values just like you, let him believe what he wants to believe. He is at the start of what you are telling him to do, taken the first step, so leave him alone. Even if he decided to wait until marriage, that doesn't make him a faggot. So your parents never drilled it into your head that sex before marriage is a terrible sin. I am proud of you for having so much sex and proving that you are not a faggot.

bygones

CL

 

[BobbDobbs]

Originally posted by ChevyLover
Anyways, I've also come to the conclusion that there is no way i'm waiting for marriage to fvck. I mean in this day and age, that is pretty much impossible.

Heh heh. It was always thus. It was just a lot more discrete in those earlier days.

 

[Howie Farkes]

Originally posted by ChevyLover
As far as being a jerk and hurting people - don't worry about it. If she goes for fvcking you, its her own damn fault - if she feels like you used her afterwards, she has no right because you never MADE her do anything. If she biatches about it, just ignore her.

Yeah, what he said.

 

[Bill]

Originally posted by Allstar69
bro you are a pathetic geek in my opinion. you are missing out on so much fun its sicking. go take a shower, shave, brush your teeth, buy some rubbers and start getting laid. do you honestly feel better about yourself, masterbating on a nightly basis just to appease your sexual appetite, and if your not masterbating then your working on premature prostate cancer, cause studies show without regular flow you will prematurely develope it. stop being a nice guy (more like faggot) and start being a man or dont go on this site agian.

Ok ok enough with flaming already. What did he do to you? Nothing huh? Keep your flames for yourself or for somebody more deserving than him.
Peace.

 

[Allstar69]

ok im sorry i a have said some mean stuff on my behalf. dont take me personally i have more problems than numbers can count sexually speaking.

 

[Slickster]

Good post