"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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my problem

azanon

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Wyldfire said:
If you are her teacher then you shouldn't pursue her in any way, shape or form. Bad idea. If she will have to continue to take your classes in the future then steer clear. If her taking your class is a one time deal, and she won't take another one of your classes in the future, then wait until the class is over and then ask her out if you still want to.
This is your right answer. So you have a least a couple years? Tough. The job that puts food on your table is still more important. The stakes would be really high if you pursued her.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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azanon

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Bonhomme said:
When I was a teaching assistant I had one student who was obviously hot for me. Even gave me her #, and came to my dorm room for help. Very flirty. But I was taken, so it was moot. In any case, I'd have waited until the class was over.
The exact same thing happened to me except for me, "taken" meant i was married. However, had i not been taken, I would have banged her that night.

There's a huge difference between being the actual teacher where its your actual occupation with "real" money and the job world, vs a lowly TA making a small salary, which is usually an optional and definitely a temporary thing for the masters/doctorate you're working on.
 

Sinistar

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Professor Tomassi has given excellent advice here!

When a single MAN is leading a healthy life, he tends towards putting himself, his family, his career and his friends first. That might sound odd or even selfish. Yet just about every woman I've met seems to find that as a turn on and the reasons are obvious - confidence, experience, maturity, arrogance, leadership, etc.

When you see a single man willing to risk one of those important areas of his life for a woman then something's not right.

No DJ (MAN) is gonna sit around and wait for some HB who hasn't even displayed any signals of interest. That is the ONE-itis kicking in and when unchecked will just lead to obsession. Probably not a path a college professor should be taking eh?

Alright 'paranoir', so you're a professor. You should have a decent respect and understanding of research, experimentation, cause and effect, etc.

Why not try an experiment. Make some moves on the other plates. See how you feel about the student when one of your plates responds positively. Perhaps your interest in the student is much more a function of your prospects than her percieved quality???
 

comote

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Generally professors can't date there own students. Dating an undergrad student is generally frowned upon but nothing they can fire you over. At university I teach at the policy is "if you date a student make sure they don't get unhappy enough to complain"

As far as picking up your student . . . you sure that is what you want? I would take a very calm approach to it. Maybe just look at her a little longer than necessary during class.

YOU are still the professor and in the position of power. Your goal is to create enough attraction in her that she will approach you. Any reasonably intelligent student who is interested in a professor will approach them because
a) she realizes that a professor has alot to lose by approaching her. If she even thinks sexual harrasment your career is over.
b) No matter how obvious you are she can not be sure that you even know she exists or would be attracted to her.

Honestly I break out my anti-dj persona with my students, easy when you are teaching math. One of my friends who teaches english would have a much easier time picking up students. Neither one of us are interested in losing our jobs over a student though.
 
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