My definite problem is is that I can pull numbers, however, I'm afraid to call them up afterwards. I dunno man, guess I'm scared cause once I called a girl and she gave me some sh*t excuse and wouldn't give me the time of the f*cking day. That's what I'm scared of. PLUS I got bad phone man, like my buddy just called up his numbers and let me talk to his girls and it did not go very well. What I hate the most is awkward silences. But yeah.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
My problem: I get numbers and I don't have the balls to call.
- Thread starter ElStud
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
Personally I hate talking on the phone. It doesn't matter who or for what reason I just do. If somebody told me that I had won a million dollars and all I had to do was give them my name and address, I would still get nervous and my heart would race. I'd rather drive 20 minutes to talk to them face to face then to talk on the phone.
But talking on the phone and calling girls is like everything else, you have to practice to get better at it. Even though I can feel the pulse in my neck pounding I still do it.
The trick is to not think about how nervous you are feeling. Also it really helps to know what you want to say before you call. Write it down if you have to.
Something like
"Hi xxx how are you?"
She talks a bit
"That's cool. Hey lets do xyz at such day"
If she says yes, say "great, I'll call you then to confirm" then you hang up.
If she says no it's not good for her then ask what would be a good time then you say "great, I'll call you then to confirm" then you hang up.
Your goal is to NOT have a conversation on the phone. The phone is only used to make dates. Don't worry about having conversations till you've been out with her several times. Awkward silences will not even be possible.
Now call those numbers.
But talking on the phone and calling girls is like everything else, you have to practice to get better at it. Even though I can feel the pulse in my neck pounding I still do it.
The trick is to not think about how nervous you are feeling. Also it really helps to know what you want to say before you call. Write it down if you have to.
Something like
"Hi xxx how are you?"
She talks a bit
"That's cool. Hey lets do xyz at such day"
If she says yes, say "great, I'll call you then to confirm" then you hang up.
If she says no it's not good for her then ask what would be a good time then you say "great, I'll call you then to confirm" then you hang up.
Your goal is to NOT have a conversation on the phone. The phone is only used to make dates. Don't worry about having conversations till you've been out with her several times. Awkward silences will not even be possible.
Now call those numbers.
Cry For Love
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2007
- Messages
- 294
- Reaction score
- 6
You feel awkward and afraid to call because you care about their opinion of yourself too much. Let go of your ego, man! Its no cause of concern at all if people dont like you unless you make it be. Let them judge you and bash you if they so feel, and move on. Your previous traumatic experience at it should give you all the more zeal to do it.
everyone gets rejected sometimes, a girl will not give you her number unless she wants you to act upon it
to cut out the awkward silences
be quick and straight to the point
dont waste your best conversation on the phone
try not to be on the phone for more than 3 minutes if you can
you have gotta force yourself through this man
the aim of the phone call is to ultimately get you closer to getting with her
you are going to get rejected a lot
you need to accept this and have the mentality that if a girl rejects you on the phone, they are missing out on something great, you are not missing out, you CAN go and find another girl, there is a better girl out there for you
yes you will be bricking it at first but rejection is much better than regret, if you got rejected i doubt you would be posting here as you can next this girl and find another one who is better
to cut out the awkward silences
be quick and straight to the point
dont waste your best conversation on the phone
try not to be on the phone for more than 3 minutes if you can
you have gotta force yourself through this man
the aim of the phone call is to ultimately get you closer to getting with her
you are going to get rejected a lot
you need to accept this and have the mentality that if a girl rejects you on the phone, they are missing out on something great, you are not missing out, you CAN go and find another girl, there is a better girl out there for you
yes you will be bricking it at first but rejection is much better than regret, if you got rejected i doubt you would be posting here as you can next this girl and find another one who is better
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Just let go, man. Let go of whatever fear your holding on to. In your mind, you've made women something much more than they actually are. They're searching for a man just like you're searching for a woman. All you have to do is be your natural self and not let them think you're any less than the next guy.
Women are really easy. You really don't have to try so hard. The least amount of effort you put into women, the more successful you will be with them. The less serious it is for you, the more serious it becomes for them. Seriously, women are easy, but you're not going to get them all. When you accept that you will be turned down, your game will become so much easier and the chip on your shoulder with dissolve.
Good luck, bro.
Women are really easy. You really don't have to try so hard. The least amount of effort you put into women, the more successful you will be with them. The less serious it is for you, the more serious it becomes for them. Seriously, women are easy, but you're not going to get them all. When you accept that you will be turned down, your game will become so much easier and the chip on your shoulder with dissolve.
Good luck, bro.
in my experience....
its kinda of easy to get the number and set up the first date....but the first date itself can be something scary to think about IMO.
In your case, try just calling her once...no answer then leave a message and make it short and sweet. nothing spectacular remember you are talking to the machine not the girl. Give it a few hours and if she doesn't call then you can send one text message...by all means this is the last resort. You use this tool and you wont ever have a girl telling all of her friends that you are a weirdo or a stalker.
its kinda of easy to get the number and set up the first date....but the first date itself can be something scary to think about IMO.
In your case, try just calling her once...no answer then leave a message and make it short and sweet. nothing spectacular remember you are talking to the machine not the girl. Give it a few hours and if she doesn't call then you can send one text message...by all means this is the last resort. You use this tool and you wont ever have a girl telling all of her friends that you are a weirdo or a stalker.
TheBaconator
Senior Don Juan
Hey man look at it like this, you got the hard part out of the way, the approaching. What goes through your head during this? What eases any fear of rejection during approaches? Use whatever it is to man up the courage to make the calls.ElStud said:My definite problem is is that I can pull numbers, however, I'm afraid to call them up afterwards. I dunno man, guess I'm scared cause once I called a girl and she gave me some sh*t excuse and wouldn't give me the time of the f*cking day. That's what I'm scared of. PLUS I got bad phone man, like my buddy just called up his numbers and let me talk to his girls and it did not go very well. What I hate the most is awkward silences. But yeah.
Nothing ventured nothing gained.
NickSCFC2000
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2007
- Messages
- 218
- Reaction score
- 1
Why not txt them?
i disagree, i think everyone care in some ways about how the other person thinks of us... especially if its a girl that you like and you just met. its ok to wanna make a good impression in that first phone call. you have to try and minimize all the negatives that may come out during your phone call... like slurring, or sounding nervous, awkward silence.Cry For Love said:You feel awkward and afraid to call because you care about their opinion of yourself too much. Let go of your ego, man! Its no cause of concern at all if people dont like you unless you make it be. Let them judge you and bash you if they so feel, and move on. Your previous traumatic experience at it should give you all the more zeal to do it.
you can avoid all this by texting her if youre not comfortable making that first phone call, but keep it short dont over due the texting. see if she wants to hang out, if she says yes, then say that you will call her back later!
this way when you call her, you know exactly what to talk about, plan where you can go, get her address so you can pick her up, etc.
good luck!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Luke Skywalker
Banned
- Joined
- May 23, 2006
- Messages
- 2,434
- Reaction score
- 11
The solution is simple.
Use the call-blocker, or star 67, and then call her, and if you get the answering machine hang up, because that is what's 99.9% chance is going to happen. She's probably just as scared of you calling.
If you are reallly nervous, just hand up the phone if she picks up and try again later when you work up the nerve to talk with her.
Remember, you are just going to set up a date and ask her out somewhere, not engage in chit-chat other than some fluff talk at the beginning before you start setting dates up, and you are just going to volley back and forth a date and time you are going to meet.
Use the call-blocker, or star 67, and then call her, and if you get the answering machine hang up, because that is what's 99.9% chance is going to happen. She's probably just as scared of you calling.
If you are reallly nervous, just hand up the phone if she picks up and try again later when you work up the nerve to talk with her.
Remember, you are just going to set up a date and ask her out somewhere, not engage in chit-chat other than some fluff talk at the beginning before you start setting dates up, and you are just going to volley back and forth a date and time you are going to meet.
ready123
Master Don Juan
life is full of this simple repeating pattern
recognize fear, act anyway, fear diminishes
recognize fear, act anyway, fear diminishes
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
Thats what i do. I sit in class and make sure to make the fact that im in class known so i dont seem like a puss who doesnt wanna call. Unless youre setting something up, leave the idea of getting to know each other when you hang out.NickSCFC2000 said:Why not txt them?
I try to avoid texting for so many reasons. Reaction time is slow, it's harder to understand jokes, and a 1 minute conversation lasts 30 minutes. Not worth it.
The only positive uses for texting are for 1 liners where you don't want a response, or to give someone directions when you are in a place that's too loud to talk.
The only positive uses for texting are for 1 liners where you don't want a response, or to give someone directions when you are in a place that's too loud to talk.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Jeffst1980
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2008
- Messages
- 834
- Reaction score
- 131
One thing I hate about the phone is that there's a weird psychological barrier that exists when you're talking to someone without seeing their face. It's like talking to someone that never makes eye contact with you.
The trick is to continue to build rapport after the initial interaction BEFORE you call---this will also prevent a lot of flaking. Those awkward moments of conversation and the associated nervousness go away as you become more comfortable with someone.
FACT: TEXT MESSAGING HAS MADE OUR LIVES SOOOO MUCH EASIER.
After I meet a girl, I text them something funny later that night after I leave. Girls LOVE getting texts and there's a sense of intimacy in sending brief text messages, because it's something they do with their friends (and boyfriends). Plus, a lot will keep the message in their inbox for a while, which keeps you in their memory.
I might send another text in a couple of days and then call them later that night or the next day to set up a time to hang. The more positive the response to the texts, the more likely she is to agree to a meeting (and answer her phone!). Having this confidence will help you make those calls. You should always think of her and treat her as an old friend, rather than some strange exotic animal.
The trick is to continue to build rapport after the initial interaction BEFORE you call---this will also prevent a lot of flaking. Those awkward moments of conversation and the associated nervousness go away as you become more comfortable with someone.
FACT: TEXT MESSAGING HAS MADE OUR LIVES SOOOO MUCH EASIER.
After I meet a girl, I text them something funny later that night after I leave. Girls LOVE getting texts and there's a sense of intimacy in sending brief text messages, because it's something they do with their friends (and boyfriends). Plus, a lot will keep the message in their inbox for a while, which keeps you in their memory.
I might send another text in a couple of days and then call them later that night or the next day to set up a time to hang. The more positive the response to the texts, the more likely she is to agree to a meeting (and answer her phone!). Having this confidence will help you make those calls. You should always think of her and treat her as an old friend, rather than some strange exotic animal.
Alright well, I'm gonna try and gather the balls to talk to them and I'm gonna try calling them in the afternoon. If it goes bad, oh well. I'm also thinking about calling up the Freshman numbers I got, but what's the point?
Well finally got the balls to call a few of the numbers up.
Sam girl gave me the wrong number and I got this weird lady who said "Um... Sam? Sorry sir you have the wrong number". Besides, it definitely wasn't someone younger so I know it wasn't HER just making an excuse, but a definite wrong number. Deleted that sh*t in a second.
Next on to the Orit girl, she didn't answer the phone, so I don't know if this is a flake yet.
Then I called this other girl for the helluvit, not a flake, but the real number. So I basically talked to her, told her about my week and I said that I'm not gonna be free this week, but we could hang next weekend. She said to Facebook her if I want to hang and that is what I will do.
Called this Rachel chick, didn't answer. Weird dude called me back and told him it was the wrong number. Deleted that sh*t.
Called this Krysten chick got some weird voice message.
Called this Hallie girl, picked up but didn't go too well and ended up with her saying "Um... can I call you back?". Yep.
Called this Becky girl, turns out she wasn't a flake. Talked to her blah blah blah, asked her if she wanted to hang out she said maybe. This is a freshman chick ofcourse, so this was just practice.
Called this Hannah girl, left a voicemail.
Called Courtney chick, not a flake. Talked to her.
Called 2 different Meghan's left a voicemail.
And yeah, that's my experience in calling all my numbers. Feels good to weed out those fake numbers and know who the flakes are.
Sam girl gave me the wrong number and I got this weird lady who said "Um... Sam? Sorry sir you have the wrong number". Besides, it definitely wasn't someone younger so I know it wasn't HER just making an excuse, but a definite wrong number. Deleted that sh*t in a second.
Next on to the Orit girl, she didn't answer the phone, so I don't know if this is a flake yet.
Then I called this other girl for the helluvit, not a flake, but the real number. So I basically talked to her, told her about my week and I said that I'm not gonna be free this week, but we could hang next weekend. She said to Facebook her if I want to hang and that is what I will do.
Called this Rachel chick, didn't answer. Weird dude called me back and told him it was the wrong number. Deleted that sh*t.
Called this Krysten chick got some weird voice message.
Called this Hallie girl, picked up but didn't go too well and ended up with her saying "Um... can I call you back?". Yep.
Called this Becky girl, turns out she wasn't a flake. Talked to her blah blah blah, asked her if she wanted to hang out she said maybe. This is a freshman chick ofcourse, so this was just practice.
Called this Hannah girl, left a voicemail.
Called Courtney chick, not a flake. Talked to her.
Called 2 different Meghan's left a voicemail.
And yeah, that's my experience in calling all my numbers. Feels good to weed out those fake numbers and know who the flakes are.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
Good, good, you're making progress. About the fake numbers and stuff I read something like this. You get 10 numbers. 5 of those are real numbers. 3 of those girls agree to make a date with you. 1 actually shows up.
Don't forget to know what you want to talk about before you call. I don't think you should be leaving voicemails to girls at this stage yet though. Somebody more experienced please chime in.
Don't forget to know what you want to talk about before you call. I don't think you should be leaving voicemails to girls at this stage yet though. Somebody more experienced please chime in.
Do some warm up calls first. Call your boys and chat, call some girls you are on friendly terms with or female classmates and chat. Get your mind in a comfortable talkative state before you call the girl you really want to call.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.