My post-DJ era

[fillme]

I used to get chicks (a lot) -- more than I knew what to do with in my pre-DJ era. But then I discovered this site and started reading everything. And ever since I changed a lot. I realized and corrected a lot of things I used to do before.

I used to do a lot of silly flirting, begging, had no self-respect, used to talk over the phone whole night. But I was getting laid with good-looking chicks etc. etc.

But now after reading all the DJ stuff I am not getting a single chick. I met 6-7 chicks and so far and somehow all went in vain. Is it like a child stumbling before learning how to walk?

My attitude has changed from "I-care-a-hell-lot-about-you" to I dont give a f*** attitude. I make em laugh and try to have a conversation , try to talk about sex n little flirt at the beginning of the conversation so that I dont fall in the LJBF group. In short, I try to do almost everything mentioned in the Bible. But if they dont seem interested I dont give a damn as well.

What should I do? Is this something normal or...?

 

[sixtyfwee]

I have spent a year working on the whole seduction methodology, and yes for the largest part of that results actually dropped off.

I think this is due to the radical changes not being congruent with the persona which I project. Women are incredible creatures and can detect straight away if you are doing something that is not natural.

Recently though the results have been returning, and I feel as if finaly this material and process have been cemented as part of who I am - this year comming will be the best ever.

So what to do? Look back on your progress, while I dont know you I have seen these changes personally:

* Finally removed the oneitis disease
* Sarging hotter and hotter women
* Confidence has increased 400%
* I take AND make oppertunities
* The F\/ck buddy concept is a reality
* I'm better at this game than the women are
* I enjoy the whole proceedure

Now think about this time next year, how much better will you be? What results do you want? What type of person/DJ/PUA will you be?

Now imagine that person looking back at you now, what would he tell you to do? Are you ready to fill his shoes? Get out and game more and more, make the results your own.

Good Luck

 

[SamePendo]

The goal isn't to get women.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

^It's not to make a new flavor of pop-tarts now is it?

I don't see how people on this site can say that with a straightface.

Fine,you've become the man women want ...but women don't want you.

Don't you see the problem there?

Women are creatures of ego.The Bible teaches you to knock them off their pedestal.From the start the whole philosphy(on attracting women) is fvcked.

I admire the whole self-improvement jive but acting like your some bigshot without having the material thing bigshots have..is pointless.

When women see a guy who acts as if he's the last man on earth it will grab there attention but only for awhile,they need to be the center or the universe.They live for that and won't have it any other way.

These guys who say they don't chase women are either lying,exxagerating or have money,looks,or some sort of hook to get women in the first place.

Most of us will have to the dummy work,and date and call and generally be Nice-guys in order to get our foot in the door.

I notice many people come back here with that same story:I learned the bible,practiced ,my life is better ...but I get even less women then before.

So how is it that you can be that man and women still don't like you?

Well it's simple:You're faking it.

You can't act like your the ichiban without having the car,the money,the house,the clothes,the girls,the entourage let alone have this "unbeatable" air to you.

When you move like that women's self-interest gene will kick in and she'll evelaute wheter or not you do have those things to give her. And if you don't she'll think you are a loser or just a flat-out chauvinist.

She'll just chalk you up as a weirdo.

Another thing is do "I don't take crap from women sthick".

Dog,a woman won't take crap from YOU unless you're in a relationship. PERIOD. There's no way you can expect to cuss a girl out or stand her up then wait for her to call you. It's just not going to happen.Get all that fantasy sh!t out your head cuz Colin Ferrel you are not.

All women will test,and try to envoke jealousy in you.That's something they do to see if you are relationship material.There's no shortcut out of that.

The only thing that can work is being the Nice-guy,being persistent and patient.Being the pursuer,the one that steers the whole process.

It's not that hard:Establish rapport,establish your attraction,date,focus on creating the ambiance of a relationship,then tap that A$$.

The rest of these sites,and books,and authors are just giving you shortcuts to build up your fake confidence.

You have to put your ego on the back-burner or won't get laid.I know that's hard for some of you since you've come out of bad HS experiences and marriages or are virgins. But you have to be the Nice-guy 80% of the time.

 

[sexual_intellectual]

Originally posted by Tha Realnezz
^It's not to make a new flavor of pop-tarts now is it?

I don't see how people on this site can say that with a straightface.

LOL he's not lying

DJ's demand respect but remain human and compassionate. Its a balance. Fillme, you told us yourself that you started off with no self respect. Now you have it, but have fewer ladies. Whatever the solution to the fewer ladies problem is, how can you justify giving up your self-respect?

Wussification might get you laid a bit more in the short term, but isn't the price too great? If you don't think so, you don't have any business on this forum.

If you wanna be a man that attracts quality women while retaining possession of his testicles, stick around.

I think you might be over compensating for your past AFC behaviour? If thats the case, then you don't need to go back to being an AFC, just show that you have a good heart from time to time, while not being afraid to walk if a girl crosses the line.

You should be showing just enough interest to hook the woman, but not much more. How much is too much?? Comes down to experience - and if one of the older Dons could bottle it and sell it, they would...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by fillme
My attitude has changed from "I-care-a-hell-lot-about-you" to I dont give a f*** attitude. I make em laugh and try to have a conversation , try to talk about sex n little flirt at the beginning of the conversation so that I dont fall in the LJBF group. In short, I try to do almost everything mentioned in the Bible. But if they dont seem interested I dont give a damn as well.

What should I do? Is this something normal or...?

Out of curiosity, what from the bible says that talking about sex when you first start talking to a woman will make her more attracted to you? I think you're just coming off as some type of pervert.

 

[Pancho84]

Originally posted by Tha Realnezz
^It's not to make a new flavor of pop-tarts now is it?

I don't see how people on this site can say that with a straightface.

Fine,you've become the man women want ...but women don't want you.

Don't you see the problem there?

Realnezz - A DJ will be desired by "DJ women" the creme of the crop of women. They will be the only ones that will be able to fulfill a DJs expectations, they will be the only ones that truly carry a CONVICTION about their self worth and what they have to offer to be able to consistently and NATURALLY fullfil the checklist.
NOTE however, the creme of the crop women are - the creme of the crop.... they are not MOST women... just like a true DJ... is not like MOST men.

Hence, you might get less women overall - but you get the best women. A millionare could have... most cars. He could go out and get every car out there.. instead he waits until he finds the exotics, better yet, the best of the best of the exotics and then goes for it. He KNOWS he is worth it, HE KNOWS he does NOT need to settle for less. HE KNOWS he could have every other set of wheels.. so why settle?

On the street, these are the cars people drool for. Kinda, sorta the same thing. You dont find exotic cars everywhere. Most cars arent exotics. But.. they are out there. Most women arent for-DJ material. But you better believe it, they are out there! and it might take a while to find that one woman... but if you were to give me a choice, I would rather be single and happy - because a DJ doesnt NEED to be with a woman in order to be happy - be single and happy for a while and then find an amazing women than simply waste my time dating MOST women and marry a so-so one.... I know I deserve and know I can get the best one.

 

[SamePendo]

It isn't to get women.

It's to get satisfaction.

 

[So Many Ways]

I feel that if doing whatever it is you're doing works for you, then keep doing it.

Second of all, maybe you're not coming accross the right way when trying to exercise a bunch of techniques. I know that speaking for myself, when I would go and game women and use techniques that I learned, the results would vary widely and be mixed to the extreme. Some chicks would fall all over me while other chicks would look at me like an alien. Eventually different things you do will come accross more naturally after time and you won't get so many weird reactions.

I think that the best use of the site is take that advice that would apply to you and only you and take advantage of it. There may be some things you read that won't apply to you and if you do it, it may f*ck up your game while if someone else does it, it well help them. I also feel that having a solid inner frame and developing true self confidence is the long and hard way to go about things but it's the path to long term success, but short term frustration. I honeslty believe this.

Personally, I'm focusing on behaving in as natural of a manner as possible. I'm toning down and trying to erase all the techniques that I've read (c&f, negs, routines, etc) and just focus on masculine behavior and also being a more social, outgoing person and keeping a strong inner frame, basically emulating natural behavior. It's hard but I think long run it will be more solid than relying on techniques or making sure I stand a certain way or lean this way or that way when I talk or running some kiss test routine or any of the strange stuff I see encouraged in the seduction sites.

Think of the rules you read here and on other competing sites (i e masf) and then go and meet naturals in real life and see if they follow these rules. You'll find that they violate "rules" left and right. I've seen naturals call girls the next day or even the same night, which is forbidden in the bible. My roommate who's a natural talks on the phone quite a bit with chicks, which is also a nono in the bible. What they do have is the solid inner frame, confidence, social skills and strong social awareness and they don't get emotionally attached to the outcome of any interaction. Sometimes they'll use c&f and negs but not to the ridiculous extremes that guys like David Deangelo tell guys to do. Just observe what they'll do and you'll see all the material in a new light. The purpose of the techniques is to emulate the behavior of a natural but unless you've actually seen a natural in real life and observe what they operate, you'll screw it up because you won't know have the proper belief behind it. You're using a technique and the women can see through it. That's why so many guys have trouble using c&f and other techniques.

Another problem that also comes into play is the overcomplication of a simple process. Truth is, men and women have been interacting successfully for thousands of years, way before any of these techniques were invented. This is something we all know how to do instinctually, if you can just throw away all the garbage and tap into your instincts, you'll be fine. When I see something like TylerDurden's 25 point checklist on how to stand when talking to a chick, all I just shake my head and wonder why these guys need to make this sh!t so damn complicated. If you think it's complicated, then it will be complicated and then you'll find yourself spending hundreds of dollars for someone's mastery program or thousands on a seminar. This sh!t really is simple if you make it simple.

Just think of any time you met a woman and how naturally things may have progressed with her. You and her hit it off right away and the chemistry was there right away. Were you focusing on techniqes? Where you trying to stand a certain way? Where you concerned about negging, c&f, running routines? No, you were behaving and interacting with her in a natural manner, the way men and women have been interacting with each other for thousands of years.

That's my 2 cents. I would advise on just focus on natural social behavior and not worry too much about techniques and remember this rule or that rule and just simplify everything. I bet before you did what you thought was natural, even if some of it was wusslike, but it felt natural for you so it worked. That doesn't mean act like a wuss but hopefully my point has been made.

 

[SheepSter]

Fillme I know what you talk about. It's pretty weird because you begin flirting and seducing women in your own natural way, the way you think is best at the time. You get pretty good results. But knowing that reading = knowledge, and can probably make the results even better, you start reading. This is how I rationalized things when I began reading.

Only to realize that by most of the reading you will lose your touch with your natural self. I became way to arrogant. But not by over doing c+f or giving a HB to much higher value stories. I realised what was wrong when I approached a HB8 only asking her: "Hi, what's your name?" and smiling. She answered me, and we had some small talk. Then I walked away because I had to talk to some other girls I saw earlier. Now this can do alot of good things. But when I found out one of these other girls was HB8's sister and she told me that HB8 thought if I wasn't so arrogant I could get any girl. I was confused , because as I said I didn't use c+f or anything like that, still somehow I was arrogant.

Then it struck me, I did no longer look at a girl but at a HB8. Approaching girls with "topgun confidence" is great, my problem was that I always let them chase me and I wanted too much. It works, but what if the girl isn't into chasing, what if she just wants an interesting convo without games. Because she didn't I would next her and not give a fvck.

Putting the theory into practice, I came to the conclusion that it's best to fine tune your natural game with the theory, but never let it dominate. No written theory is absolute, everything is relative (nice paradox uh).

I went back searching for the girl (HB8), found her. And talked to her for 3 hours. I just gave her attention. She became my GF for 2 months.

Edit: So Many Ways that reply is dead on, I totally agree

 

[Bonhomme]

Overcompensation

I used to do a lot of silly flirting, begging, had no self-respect, used to talk over the phone whole night. But I was getting laid with good-looking chicks etc. etc.

Silly flirting is good, talking over the phone can be great if you're good at it. Looks like all you needed to do was cut out the begging and have a bit more self-respect, and that was it.

No need to gut the machine when all you need is a tune-up.

This reminds me of the whole Zen story about going through all those levels of attainment to get back to the beginning. To the "no mind" state -- but with your new awareness.

SMW and SS are on point here. Don't clutter your mind with a lot of rules. Those rules are designed to break the bad habits of guys who are not getting any action.

You were way beyond that already, and only needed to pay a bit of mind to what was not working -- if anything (chuckling) -- and fine tune where necessary.

 

[fillme]

Guys thank you all for your valuable comments. I have just gone back to my original self. And guess what? Things are already looking up. As Bonhomme mentioned all I needed to do was to fine-tune myself.

I became way too arrogant and had a "dont care" kind of attitude. What I realized is that if I dont care, girls dont care as well. They have other 20 guys waiting in the line. And I am no one special. And it was taking me absolutely nowhere and I kept on Next-ing one after another thinking that I was oh-so-cool.

Thanks again!