My POF date today cancelled, should I bother responding?

[pete101]

I had a POF date set up for today from last week (I made mistake of being too available even though she framed it that I need to let her know by wednesday and not to keep her waiting) I fell for her BS. She wrote 'just to let you know I usually have my weekends booked up by Weds so don't keep me waiting' I misinterpreted the msg to mean she was eager to see me but wanted me to confirm by weds, when in fact really i'm just following her frame, not leading or dictating.

Anyway I made mistake of setting up the date last Sun for today (Sat), so far in advance, looks stupid cos I look so available and got the digits within that same msg. She tells me yes but to confirm closer to the time (bad news if i have to confirm). I send her my no. couple days later, no response. Then on Thurs I clarify with her where to meet (no response),

This morning she sends me: Hi there, sorry I didnt reply earlier but i had a busy week at work. im exhausted and i need this weekend to myself so sorry about that but i cant see you today. if u fancy meeting another time let me know. Have a good day!

This is BS cos like you all say, it doesn't matter if she's exhausted, if she has high IL she'll meet you even if it's only an internet date with a stranger (it doesn't help that her 1 and only POF date 6 months ago turned out to be some crazy guy so now she's apprehensive).

Should I bother following up? I already offered the time, she hasn't counter offered, she should be the 1 to offer me another time. She's keeping me dangling by suggesting I should try again. F that.

If i ignore her will she contact me again? I think every other AFC would respond and be like 'sure ok' and then try to arrange another meet. Or would actually just saying 'ok' and then never contacting her again actually be more effective than just plain ignoring her msg?

 

[1ncredible]

Doesn't look stupid that you arranged it so far in advance - show's you're organised. I'd have had my hind legs up a bit after her 'don't keep me waiting' message though.

It does sound like absolute BS to me and if you've not even met her yet or had a few of dates, I wouldn't even give her a second thought.

She's put the ball in your court so perhaps make one more date (got nothing to lose), but bet on her more flaking out so don't get your hopes up. Also you could text her short notice or something and see if she's free, like when you're out with friends - see what her response is. Only do one of the 2 I mentioned though.

If no reponse or she flakes - Her loss and on with the next!

 

[Iceberg]

I had a POF date set up for today from last week (I made mistake of being too available even though she framed it that I need to let her know by wednesday and not to keep her waiting) I fell for her BS. She wrote 'just to let you know I usually have my weekends booked up by Weds so don't keep me waiting' I misinterpreted the msg to mean she was eager to see me but wanted me to confirm by weds, when in fact really i'm just following her frame, not leading or dictating.

Here's the thing about this internet dating stuff....Flaking comes with the territory. Don't waste your time analyzing what you did wrong, and why some woman you never even met flaked on you. Dating in general is flaking. Internet dating is MORE flaky.

You can't worry about the "frame" or "following the lead" of some chick you never met. For all you know, she's just an as*hole.

This is BS cos like you all say, it doesn't matter if she's exhausted, if she has high IL she'll meet you even if it's only an internet date with a stranger (it doesn't help that her 1 and only POF date 6 months ago turned out to be some crazy guy so now she's apprehensive).

She never met you, so it's not like she's going to have REALLY high IL. Well, unless you're a great looking guy with some really amazing pics on your profile.

If i ignore her will she contact me again? I think every other AFC would respond and be like 'sure ok' and then try to arrange another meet. Or would actually just saying 'ok' and then never contacting her again actually be more effective than just plain ignoring her msg?

Try again if you want. Just loosen up and accept that if you're dealing with women on the internet, they're more likely to flake. No point in beating yourself up over it.

 

[pete101]

Here's the thing about this internet dating stuff....Flaking comes with the territory. Don't waste your time analyzing what you did wrong, and why some woman you never even met flaked on you. Dating in general is flaking. Internet dating is MORE flaky.

You can't worry about the "frame" or "following the lead" of some chick you never met. For all you know, she's just an as*hole.



She never met you, so it's not like she's going to have REALLY high IL. Well, unless you're a great looking guy with some really amazing pics on your profile.




Try again if you want. Just loosen up and accept that if you're dealing with women on the internet, they're more likely to flake. No point in beating yourself up over it.

I'll feel like an idiot if i try again and she does the same thing so i probably wont. what i meant was should i respond to that text?

it's been over a day now it seems responding seems not relevant and that i've caved in, even if it's just an ok?

she sent that yesterday morning, it's sunday night now, just will look like i am desperate after searching all weekend.

i was hoping she'd contact me to meet i gues not replying sends a pretty clear message though, that im not that interested anymore and im not gona chase.

 

[pete101]

she's now deleted her profile off POF, i didn't respond to the text. is there much point now?

i dont really wanna lose any plates at the moment cos im not in a precarious position. if everything clicks into place i should be have multiple sex partners by xmas, OR more likely back to zero options.

 

[pdx1138]

It's up to her to contact you now....keep the number just in case.
DO NOT initiate contact at all.

Women will go out of their way if they're interested.

I had a date last wednesday (2nd date from a recent POF chik) she has showed very high interest from the get go....she woke up with a sore throat wednesday and STILL showed up for the date regardless.

 

[Blizzard1]

. She's keeping me dangling by suggesting I should try again. F that.

If i ignore her will she contact me again?

She won't necessarily contact you again if you ignore her but it's still an infinitely better idea than jumping through her hoops by trying to re-schedule. There's hundreds of women on POF -- why get hung up on this one??

 

[Zarky]

Wow man you made about a half dozen really rookie mistakes here.

'just to let you know I usually have my weekends booked up by Weds so don't keep me waiting'

I would have deleted her number after this. Any chick who would talk to a guy with this tone is a b*tch. And then she didn't respond to your texts, and then blew you off with a terrible excuse, and now you think you still have a shot?

Come on man, on a scale of 1-10 you're performing at a 1. This is stuff a 16 year old would do.

If i ignore her will she contact me again?

No, she never had any interest in you. Or maybe a TINY bit at first that fizzled immediately.

I think every other AFC would respond and be like 'sure ok' and then try to arrange another meet.

That would be BAFC behavior.. super omega behavior. I can't imagine any guy past his teens who's not a virgin would do that.

Or would actually just saying 'ok' and then never contacting her again actually be more effective than just plain ignoring her msg?

She has utterly forgotten you even exist. Move on.

 

[window]

Your problem is you took her beta bait..."which was to confirm closer to the time". You should never call or contact a person to confirm a maybe. you need to be solid and set definates..I'd give her one more try though as all the posturing is just meaningless emails/txts. You dont know what she is like until you meet her face to face. So just text her and say I can meet you (downgrade what you offered last time) for coffee Tues at 4 at such and such a place or Friday at 3. Any bs like confirming, just say thanks but I'll leave it.

 

[Mike32ct]

The Two Strike Rule is a good rough guideline, but keep in mind that there are no 100 percent rules in this game. Some chicks only deserve ONE strike. This is one of them.

Move on. Don't respond. Let it go.

Like pdx1138 said, if she were interested, she'd find away around her "excuses." If she really was just tired, she'd bump up the time later so she'd have time to nap first. Or she'd still meet you but cut the date a little shorter.

But I also agree with Zarky. Her b*tchy attitude sux.

 

[pete101]

The Two Strike Rule is a good rough guideline, but keep in mind that there are no 100 percent rules in this game. Some chicks only deserve ONE strike. This is one of them.

Move on. Don't respond. Let it go.

Like pdx1138 said, if she were interested, she'd find away around her "excuses." If she really was just tired, she'd bump up the time later so she'd have time to nap first. Or she'd still meet you but cut the date a little shorter.

But I also agree with Zarky. Her b*tchy attitude sux.

i'm gona leave it, it's too much hassle, not worth it.

does the 2 strikes rule still apply even if a girl counter offers twice (in reference to my other thread and a different girl)?

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

i'm gona leave it, it's too much hassle, not worth it.

does the 2 strikes rule still apply even if a girl counter offers twice (in reference to my other thread and a different girl)?

'

Do you notice how every time someone answers your question, you find a new question to ask?

At some point you just have to use your brain and figure things out.

 

[nismo-4]

If a woman really is interested in you, she'll move a mountain to see you.

Not the case here. She has other plans beyond a reasonable doubt, and she would have seen you had the attraction been there. But it ain't.

You are guilty of failure to spin plates and attempted oneitis development. The fine for this is 1 stressed mind, 1 bruised shaft, dangling on false hope, and a trip to Disinterested Lake, Pennsylvania. The court orders you to stop asking these silly questions about this girl, move the f**k on, stop beating yourself (Your head with the brain, that is), get more prospects, and move the f**k on!

Thank you OP, but your princess is in another castle!

Case closed.

 

[bukowski_merit]

I am becoming quite advanced at POF/OkCupid pickup. I have been doing it exclusively for months now.... So I'll throw some comments in.

I had a POF date set up for today from last week (I made mistake of being too available even though she framed it that I need to let her know by wednesday and not to keep her waiting) I fell for her BS. She wrote 'just to let you know I usually have my weekends booked up by Weds so don't keep me waiting' I misinterpreted the msg to mean she was eager to see me but wanted me to confirm by weds, when in fact really i'm just following her frame, not leading or dictating.

This is what I've found: From first message, to first text, to first phone call (optional), to first meet has to be FAST! There's a 2-3 day there where proper game can keep a woman interested.

When i have a woman going - i game her around the clock (through text or over the phone) for about a 2 day period. Then... I STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT!

Listen to this: I don't even go on dates with women! If they want to meet me to see what i look like; make sure im congruent - i'll pitch a quick meet to them. After that - im lining them up to come get fvcked.

I do this through being sexual and by building comfort.

Look, this online game is sooo different than real life. There girls are being bombarded with message after message from a comfortable distance. You need more to reel them in than just "Ok let's meet in a week".

^ that **** will get flakes!

Anyway I made mistake of setting up the date last Sun for today (Sat), so far in advance, looks stupid cos I look so available and got the digits within that same msg. She tells me yes but to confirm closer to the time (bad news if i have to confirm). I send her my no. couple days later, no response. Then on Thurs I clarify with her where to meet (no response),

Don't worry about "too available", being "hard to get", etc when it comes to online dating! Please don't apply that kind of stuff here!

Once i have a girl in my grasps (aka: have her intrigued!) - i do not let up until she pulls away or caves in. When you got her number - you should have used it right away. You should have worked on opening her up sexually; and worked on building comfort with her. Once done - Then pitch the idea of meeting up.

If you can't do this stuff - PM me and i'll work with you to help you be better at building intrigue.

You've heard of strike while the iron is hot right? Well, strike while you have her attention, because there's a good chance if you don't keep her attention - you'll never get it.

This morning she sends me: Hi there, sorry I didnt reply earlier but i had a busy week at work. im exhausted and i need this weekend to myself so sorry about that but i cant see you today. if u fancy meeting another time let me know. Have a good day!

Exactly what should happen with a woman who has only exchanged a few messages with a guy who she doesn't know. You're only going to get a date if you catch her when she's bored and wants something to do AT THAT MOMENT.

This is BS cos like you all say, it doesn't matter if she's exhausted, if she has high IL she'll meet you even if it's only an internet date with a stranger (it doesn't help that her 1 and only POF date 6 months ago turned out to be some crazy guy so now she's apprehensive).

Who cares if it's BS? Who cares how many guys she's meant off of POF? (yeah right!) Analyzing that is not going to get results.

Should I bother following up? I already offered the time, she hasn't counter offered, she should be the 1 to offer me another time. She's keeping me dangling by suggesting I should try again. F that.

Look... I really see two options:

1) Do as others have said and next her. No need to reply to her messages, etc.

2) Tell her to message you sometime when she doesn't have anything to do and if you're available - you'll hang out with her. If she messages you some day and you're busy - tell her so. If she messages you some day and you're sitting at home thinking about wanking it anyway - don't play these fvcking "i got to appear busy" games - instead, plan an instadate and go on it.

If i ignore her will she contact me again?

Probably not. Unless she's really bored. You haven't had sex with her; she doesn't know how charming you are in person; you've shared no butterflies - - - she doesn't really care about you.

Or would actually just saying 'ok' and then never contacting her again actually be more effective than just plain ignoring her msg?

No contact = Short answer = It doesn't matter either way because she doesn't really care about you.