"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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My plateauing problem

speakeasy

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I'm stuck. I feel like I toned my muscles up to as strong as I can get them since I started working out this summer. I am no longer gaining weight. I'm stuck at about 159-162 fluctuating in there. I know it's hard to gain since I do MMA. I'm wondering if that's the only way I can get bigger, to cut the martial arts. I really don't want to do that as I enjoy learning how to fight.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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wolf116

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Be very careful not to over-train! Don't think your Goku or something.

I used to think I should push my body as hard as possible and it would adapt. How wrong I was. I have been ridden with illness and injuries which have caused me to miss an opportunity to train one-on-one with a excellent trainer that thought I had the talent to fight.

Listen to your body. If you have been tired, very sore, depressed, sleeping in through your alarm ect. Skip the weights session without hesitation and do stretching, recovery work or get a massage. I found myself keeping more muscle and generally performing better this way. When I was training hard I would spend all Sunday in bed and would take a few pain killers to allow myself to sleep all day.

Also why don't you post your diet? Are you taking a small protein drink before and after MMA?
 

Warboss Alex

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Quiksilver said:
this doesn't always cut it, CNS burnout will occur regardless of calories.

speakeasy, cut back on the MMA or use your offseason to get bigger.

post your schedule/routine/diet as well
 

Being_the_Don

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Warboss Alex said:
this doesn't always cut it, CNS burnout will occur regardless of calories.

speakeasy, cut back on the MMA or use your offseason to get bigger.

post your schedule/routine/diet as well
How do you know when that's happening to you?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Throttle

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when:

- you fix your diet but you're still stalled

- you're run down & possibly getting sick more often, may include insomnia and/or irritability.

- your performance in one area suffers while it's stalled in others

- you've added more hours of working out and your progress goes backwards

of course plenty of pros out there put in hours upon hours of training per day -- the body can be built up to taking all sorts of abuse. but it's easy to get sucked into trying to do too much, esp. when you combine high-intensity aerobic exercise with serious weightlifting. back off one or the other if you suspect CNS burnout.
 

Warboss Alex

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Being_the_Don said:
How do you know when that's happening to you?
trust me, you'll know :D

otherwise see Throttle's post, to which I'd add lack of motivation - if you start dreading workouts you know something is wrong
 

Throttle

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Warboss Alex said:
if you start dreading workouts you know something is wrong
exactly... BTW my list wasn't meant to be exhaustive.
 

Being_the_Don

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Throttle said:
when:

- you fix your diet but you're still stalled

- you're run down & possibly getting sick more often, may include insomnia and/or irritability.

- your performance in one area suffers while it's stalled in others

- you've added more hours of working out and your progress goes backwards

of course plenty of pros out there put in hours upon hours of training per day -- the body can be built up to taking all sorts of abuse. but it's easy to get sucked into trying to do too much, esp. when you combine high-intensity aerobic exercise with serious weightlifting. back off one or the other if you suspect CNS burnout.

I hear ya. I haven't been riding my bike as often as I had during late spring thru the summer. To be honest I had become a little bored with it but more importantly, since I've now incorporated deadlifts and the (dumbbell) squats into my workout, I worry that bike riding won't allow my body enough time to recover. Sleep is something often talked about in here. I've never been a sound sleeper. There are nights when I do get seven or eight hours sleep but my average is about 4.5-6 hours (and I'm lucky if I can get six). But I still go to the gym. Like I posted in today's journal entry, I think that one big reason I hadn't been lifting as much is because of negative thinking which I'm determined to push through. I push myself because I know the body I must have. And for me I feel guilty if I don't get to the gym. I'm not at CNS burnout, thank goodness, but it's important to know the signs.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Warboss Alex

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Being_the_Don said:
I hear ya. I haven't been riding my bike as often as I had during late spring thru the summer. To be honest I had become a little bored with it but more importantly, since I've now incorporated deadlifts and the (dumbbell) squats into my workout, I worry that bike riding won't allow my body enough time to recover. Sleep is something often talked about in here. I've never been a sound sleeper. There are nights when I do get seven or eight hours sleep but my average is about 4.5-6 hours (and I'm lucky if I can get six). But I still go to the gym. Like I posted in today's journal entry, I think that one big reason I hadn't been lifting as much is because of negative thinking which I'm determined to push through. I push myself because I know the body I must have. And for me I feel guilty if I don't get to the gym. I'm not at CNS burnout, thank goodness, but it's important to know the signs.
your worrying enough to post this has just edged you towards overtraining through excessive cortisol release
 

Being_the_Don

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Warboss Alex said:
your worrying enough to post this has just edged you towards overtraining through excessive cortisol release
So do you think I'm overtraining now?
 

speakeasy

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Here's a question. If I am doing MMA and weight training at the same time, would it be a good idea to increase my fat intake to offset the calories I'm burning from the high intensity cardio from MMA?
 

Warboss Alex

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speakeasy said:
Here's a question. If I am doing MMA and weight training at the same time, would it be a good idea to increase my fat intake to offset the calories I'm burning from the high intensity cardio from MMA?
you will obviously have to eat more but the simple truth is you cannot gain appreciable size while doing any form of full-on sports training..
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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speakeasy

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Warboss Alex said:
you will obviously have to eat more but the simple truth is you cannot gain appreciable size while doing any form of full-on sports training..
Okay, so let's say in theory, I have a 3 months on 3 months off program. I cut out high intensity cardio for 3 months while I bulk, when I go back to martial arts, will I shed everything I just gained? Or will it be like going up a step ladder with 3 months gain, followed by 3 months of plateau?
 

Warboss Alex

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speakeasy said:
Okay, so let's say in theory, I have a 3 months on 3 months off program. I cut out high intensity cardio for 3 months while I bulk, when I go back to martial arts, will I shed everything I just gained? Or will it be like going up a step ladder with 3 months gain, followed by 3 months of plateau?
that's one way to do it but it will depend on you how much mass you can maintain doing MMA. some guys will be able to hold most or all of it, others won't be able to. you'll have to see what your genetics allow you to do.
 

spesmilitis

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I don't think you'll 'shred' everything as long as you put in a few short strength sessions a week to maintain/improve your strength and are still eating a lot. I think muscle will only shred if you are doing cardio that doesn't require strength like long distance running.
 

Warboss Alex

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spesmilitis said:
I don't think you'll 'shred' everything as long as you put in a few short strength sessions a week to maintain/improve your strength and are still eating a lot. I think muscle will only shred if you are doing cardio that doesn't require strength like long distance running.
on the contrary, if you put the body through high intensity cardio like MMA it will strive to become more efficient at high intensity cardio, and especially if you have a lower bodyfat it will view muscle mass as expendable.. just how much mass you can hold will depend on your genetics
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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