"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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My Own Experience

dannyegg4575

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So here I am. One month after the breakup already. It’s amazing how time fly by. Over the course of this little shebang, I come to realize that I was no different from the day that she and I were together to the day that we broke up. Only now, that I was more free to do whatever I want. When you’re in the relationship you are more attached to one another and you stop having more time for yourself. When you’re in a relationship that you think will give you bliss, you tend to neglect loving yourself. You tend to gain weight so easily.

Over the course of the breakup, I did what most AFC did and went to try and reconcile what is broken instead of leaving it alone. Despite everything that I ever learned, I made matters worst by listening to friends about going to see her and giving her the upper hand. I should’ve known better than to lose my self respect. That was the last thing you should give away. Learn from this mistake newcomers.

I have to thank a lot of great guys here who helped me through it. Inceptor, ready123, wc2… if I miss your name, you know who you are.

I am done with mourning. I really have to get a move on and going around in circles will only gives me a headache. As of today, I have decided I will limit my msn usage and to quit going on fb. It is wasting a lot of my time.
I hope I can still contribute to help the newbies out. As for being a DJ, I am a lousy player… pale in comparison to the great guys in here who do get it. I find that I’ve continuously trip over myself. It is a shortcoming that I will have to accept of myself.

One thing that I do know is this… the post I wrote awhile back is from the bottom of my heart. You really can’t take your ex back. Being through so many relationships and I still haven’t learned a damn thing. When you take your ex back, you give her the power to run you over again. When you take her back, the trust is gone. There is no turning back. Despite how much you want to save her from her “loneliness” or how bad you feel for her, you simply can’t go back. What’s done is done. It’s nobody’s fault. There are too many players in the world now who know how to play this game. You have to start taking care of yourself and your wellbeing. You don’t need another woman to make you feel whole.

Learn from what you’ve lost. It is a part of life to help you grow stronger. You are not a pushover for the rest of your life. I think women come to our lives for a reason. I think their purpose is to turn us from boys into men. It is up to you want to learn from the experience or curl up in misery. Your call.

Happiness comes when you are able to accept the moment, the moment that you flap your wings and cut through the winds of life. Don’t get caught in the cage of misery. Only cowards do that. It’s very easy to be flying back to that cage because you’re comfortable there. However, if you can fly freely, why would you accept anything less? Nobody’s holding you back but you. There is no cage in front of you, only what’s in your mind. I remember Dr. Paul in Deep Inner Game video little analogy about a lost wallet. You lost your wallet and you went berserk over it. The whole time, it was over only one wallet that could easily be replaceable.

Women have a sixth sense to men and their neediness. When you look for them for validation it shows that you are not worthy of a prize. When you look to them for love, it shows that they don’t need to work so hard and that you will always be available. There is no mystery, there is no effort in trying to win you over.

Lets put it in this context… Do you feel more of a need to get a PS3 when you know that there are a bunch of guys lining up for it and that there are a limited quantity or would you take your time when there are a bunch of PS3 available at any local store? There is your key to getting a girl guys. That’s all it is. Men and women are essentially the same. We want what we can’t have. And when we do have it, the chase is over. I bought my PS2 awhile back. First year, it was great but slowly I went on to do other stuff that makes me happy until PS3 and WII came along. I felt an urgency to get the PS2, I felt I really must have it! Guess what, it only took a year for the PS2 to be collecting dust in my storage room. Once in awhile I would take that PS2 out but it has lost its sentiments to me.

All it comes down to is what would make you happy today? What do you need to do to make yourself happy internally? How you look and how you feel really do show when you're around people. What happens when a cat walks into a room full of people? You’d think it’s a cute cat and probably not pay much attention to it afterwards right? But what happens when a lion walks into a room full of people? How you carry yourself shows. Don’t walk into a room full of trash all over you. People will smell it and sense that you’ve been digging up the garbage can. It’s not at all a pretty site to see.

Learn to live for today. Accept your shortcoming and move on. It’s easier said than done but it is doable. If you stick something against the wall and apply glue to it and to suddenly remove it from months or years of attachment, it will not take seconds to remove it if you don't want to rip the wall apart. Instead, learn to detach. That’s the best way to move forward.
Good luck to all.

You're in control of your life now, not someone else. It's your life, your own movie.
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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drak_ool

Master Don Juan
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Nov 14, 2007
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this is a pretty hard to read post, try to put some space b/w the paragraphs

i agree with your overall thinking: can't take an ex back because it s not worth it, move on by cutting all ties with her, re-assess your life, do things you couldn't do when in a relationship...

Most people don't realize it at first, but getting out of a relationship gives you an incredible amount of freedom. How you use it can make the difference between a bad break-up and a good one
 

ready123

Master Don Juan
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its our reactions to uncomfortable emotional experiences like breakups and getting cheated on that determine how well-adjusted we are in the future. I think it's awesome you're able to reframe it all in terms of what you've learned and why you need to move on

I used to think learning the game was just about getting pvssy. I realize now it has as much to do with finding peace of mind
 

dannyegg4575

Senior Don Juan
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A little side humour

I work at a call center and this guy called in today. You guys will never guess what his name is. Are you ready for this?

HARRY D_ick...

lmao... i have to get that off my chest... it's too freaken hilarious. This whole time I was trying keep a straight face and act professional... but how can you act professional when something so unexpected like that happened? How can you even talk to him if that's the case? I mean, I was like, "so, Mr. Dic.... I mean, Harryyy... what can i do for you today?" The whole time i was trying to show that I wasn't laughing but I can't help it...

Can you guys imagine him being a DJ?

Imitating James Bond... "Hey baby... How are you doin? The name is D_ick... Harryyyy D_ick... " hahahahhaha

Man... his parents must really hated him!!! omg... i had to share this... sorry... it was my highlight of the day. :D
 

lookyoung

Master Don Juan
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Great thread man. This is Dj bible material. Let me throw a gem at you.:up:
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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