My next text/move with this girl

[jnMissouri]

Long story short, this girl at work that has apparently had high interest, see previous thread here .https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/girl-at-work-how-to-respond.253900/#post-2597730

I stopped texting her after a while for a variety of reasons (the couple of times we tried to hang out either it didn’t work for me as I had already left for the day when she texted me or the second time she cancelled due to workload). So I eased up and didn’t text her anymore. In response she he had her friend who I’m friends with at work bring us back together in conversation then walk away, it was super obvious....you had to be there.

So this girl at work and I went out on a date finally. It went well enough. I tried to kiss her, she said no, lol. There was a lot of touching, I had my hands on her hips or legs a lot and she was touching me a lot as well, playfully slapping my arm, etc. I wasn’t too sure how it went since we didn’t kiss, until she texted me about 30 minutes after I ended the date, thanking me for the date, saying it was fun, etc. I took this as a strong signal of interest texting so soon after the date. I told her next time she can make us dinner at her place, etc. She said yes. This all happened 2 days ago. I haven’t texted back since then, I'm taking two steps forward and one step back to build uncertainty and tension.

Sooooo….now I’m wondering how I should broach the subject again via text to setup a date and time. She follows when I lead. I figure I would start off with an innocent text saying hello, asking about her cousin, etc. But from there I’m considering asking what her schedule is like before I invite myself over for dinner again. Note: the entire time she and I have been talking, she almost always follows my lead. If I do something, she reciprocates.

 

[jaymbrs]

Long story short, this girl at work that has apparently had high interest, see previous thread here .https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/girl-at-work-how-to-respond.253900/#post-2597730

I stopped texting her after a while for a variety of reasons (the couple of times we tried to hang out either it didn’t work for me as I had already left for the day when she texted me or the second time she cancelled due to workload). So I eased up and didn’t text her anymore. In response she he had her friend who I’m friends with at work bring us back together in conversation then walk away, it was super obvious....you had to be there.

So this girl at work and I went out on a date finally. It went well enough. I tried to kiss her, she said no, lol. There was a lot of touching, I had my hands on her hips or legs a lot and she was touching me a lot as well, playfully slapping my arm, etc. I wasn’t too sure how it went since we didn’t kiss, until she texted me about 30 minutes after I ended the date, thanking me for the date, saying it was fun, etc. I took this as a strong signal of interest texting so soon after the date. I told her next time she can make us dinner at her place, etc. She said yes. This all happened 2 days ago. I haven’t texted back since then, I'm taking two steps forward and one step back to build uncertainty and tension.

Sooooo….now I’m wondering how I should broach the subject again via text to setup a date and time. She follows when I lead. I figure I would start off with an innocent text saying hello, asking about her cousin, etc. But from there I’m considering asking what her schedule is like before I invite myself over for dinner again. Note: the entire time she and I have been talking, she almost always follows my lead. If I do something, she reciprocates.

Well your first mistake was putting the ball in her court by saying you'd go over to her place. Now you're stuck in limbo because you can't invite yourself over. What I would do now is initiate some light text conversation and ask her what X day is looking like for her. Then go from there.

 

[Ranger]

What’s for dinner? Do you have something that tastes good?

 

[jnMissouri]

Well your first mistake was putting the ball in her court by saying you'd go over to her place. Now you're stuck in limbo because you can't invite yourself over. What I would do now is initiate some light text conversation and ask her what X day is looking like for her. Then go from there.

I'd much rather go to her place. And it's something I had jokingly brought up before when we first started talking and she laughed but texted me later that night that she would be down to do that some day with a few winks thrown in. Trust me, I invite myself over to women's places all the time, it's surprisingly effective because it's ****y. But you are right, that is a good lead in to start the conversation back up about dinner. I've noticed asking girls what their schedule is like is much more effective than just asking them out for xyz time and date. Heck I did that this time with her and she told me what she was doing on what days and that she'd be free Saturday to do something....

I'm starting to pay attention to the details in these interactions so I can build repeatable systems.

 

[jnMissouri]

What’s for dinner? Do you have something that tastes good?

A good one, thanks! She had brought me some desert at the office the other day, maybe that would be a good thing to bring up, "Hey will you be serving that awesome desert I liked so much?"

Most importantly I'm just going to start off with light texting/flirting, see if there is an in to bring it up, then bring up the desert and what her schedule is like.

 

[Ranger]

A good one, thanks! She had brought me some desert at the office the other day, maybe that would be a good thing to bring up, "Hey will you be serving that awesome desert I liked so much?"

Most importantly I'm just going to start off with light texting/flirting, see if there is an in to bring it up, then bring up the desert and what her schedule is like.

Lol
Look at that more closely. There’s a sub communication in that. If I sent that text, it wouldn’t be about that kind of dessert.
Of course if she accuses me of sexual intent...it would really get fun.

 

[flowtheory]

I wouldn’t even talk about some random topic like her cousin to reach out. Keep to the tension of you two; talk about the cousin in person or whatever.
Don’t worry about the dessert either, that’s old news.

I’d say something like “I’ll pick up the bottle of wine for our dinner date. Let me know if white or red is more optimal for the pairing ”

Next time use your place, so you don’t get yourself in a jam like this. Because now you’re relying on her to set the time and frame.

Add: Rangers message is also good. Just depends on how you want to come off and what vibe you want to set; how you want to create this connection with her.