Working out: I've lost a bunch of weight on my torso, my legs, my face, even my arms are a little more cut. I'm starting to see some blocks where I should soon get a 6-pack. I've done some research on Mike Mentzer the bodybuilder and learned a bit more about doing negatives and isometics. I'm strengthening the core quite a bit where it's even hurting a little bit right now. Some days I think the flab is returning but when I just work out I see that I am in yet better shape xD. I've only been hard-core working out for about 5 weeks with a lot of weed smoking and a very diverse diet. From eating barely anything, to eating tons of food, to junk food, to vegetarian food, to incredibly healthy Goulash, etc. The point is that I am in good shape and going to be in even better shape.
Game: Done a lot of reading RationalMale, who I now prefer over CH. It feels good to immerse myself in some good game and hyperbolic language so that I have a lot of things to think about concerning women. I don't want to be cynical with them, the picture I see in life isn't as bad as a lot of what he writes about the western world, it's just that the paradigm is that women are the "choosers" and they ****-test us constantly. I am learning to accept this fact and living with a woman I am now learning to pass these ****-tests with relative ease. Being non-committed is essential. No investment, nothing to lose, no problem. As Robert Greene said in the 48 Laws of Power though: Despise the free lunch.
I learned from a japanese man that in japanese culture if you accept something from someone you must say "thank you" and then you are below that person. Therefore out of respect nobody will give a beggar in japan anything because they don't consider themselves better than the beggar. They do however find that the beggar's family should help him instead of a random passer-by. (but I digress)
Women: My recent sticking points are being too non-aggressive with a blond. I still feel I coulda escalated a lot farther and I ****ed up big, even though that was weeks ago, it still bites at me. I will be more aggressive with a girl like that next time, and any grenades that appear I will immediately dismiss.
Some of the other things I considered sticking points, I've come to realise are actually just my unconscious mind protecting me from problems. I have for example missed a "ride home" with some black chick when I coincidentally had a ton of money with me that day.
Also, I was over at a model's house the other day, but she didn't even pass my boner test eventually, I thought we were gonna fvck, I just was passive and didn't do anything risky, but I didn't really feel a connective chemistry (with mirroring of behavior and breathing), though I did make her laugh a good lot and broke down her defenses. Consciously I was looking for that moment, and it didn't come. So I just left disappointed, didn't give her a kiss on the cheek or anything. Now a realise that she turned me off with her bullcrap stories about her personal problems.
I should be able to do fine guided primarily by my conscious and my unconscious mind. Writing everything down how I approach women is too arduous a task for me now, as it is more like feeling something. It's more artistic. It's creating something as you go along, while knowing where you want to go from the very start.
