My new direction?

[Cloud-uk]

Phew...where to start?

I feel like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff.

I don't usually ask for advice, but I need a lot. I just read through LikRetsam's thread, and it started the growth of a seed in my mind.

Right now, I'm ill. It's not an excuse, but my weight won't go up, I get vicious stomach pains, and food passes through me like a bullet train. My digestive system is basically shot to ****. Worse still, it's one of those things that I'm not sure doctors can cure.

Regardless, over the last month or so I've got a girlfriend after ditching the last ***** I went out with, and worked ****ing hard to get my life better. The problem is I'm totally losing energy, needless to say the weight training has all gone out the window (1 year of hard work literally down the ****ter ) and there isn't actually a ****ing thing I can do about it.

I could see how the old me could have dealt with this, an AFC could have dealt with this. Thing is- I want to be No.1, and if I'm not No.1, I want to be working towards it. I was loving life, but I'm now at the stage where I just feel drained 24:7.

I guess it has taught me a lesson about how much confidence matters, and how you can still rule if you look like ****.

And this is where I come to a "decision time" moment

You see, I've got a girlfriend, I'm doing alright, everything is fine.
But Comfort=Suicide. I hate this, this disgusting state of stagnation. It truely is putrid. You can taste it and smell it, everything feels old, and the taste, the taste of sickness no matter how many times you brush your mouth. Sure, I'm ill, but the way I just can't put in 100% into something kills me. I want to be out everynight learning new skills, but today I couldn't even manage a full day of college! Christ...I've had to quit my job because of this.

Now I'm looking for anyway I can to improve things. I loved weight training, every ****ing week you could knock the quota up some. ****ing loved it. I want that back so bad. Instead I'm looking for something i can do that I can do. I'm looking at the girlfriend.

Either I stay in this stagnation, or I change something. At the moment improving my life seems an insulting life goal. Sure I've got to pick myself back up, but I can't! It's driving me insane!

Maybe I should get a whole bunch of girlfriends. I could chalk them up like I chalked up an extra bit of weight lifted. Sure it would hurt my present girl a bit, but she's only a 7.5 at best, and I can't have people holding me back now can I?! Eugh...

I mean, I look like total crap and can't concentrate on anything. Could this guy in this state do better than everyother guy at his school? Everything I stood on, my whole idea of self improvement was that I could be number 1 because my motivation would get me there. Hmmmm, I'm ina bit of a predicament.

So, do I stay in this state untill this lets up, it's hardly a bad lot, or do I try something to change things? And what do you do? You got one girl or a lot of them? Can you have a lot of girls if you aren't exceptionally good looking? I think so, just takes more work, and effort, which is what I guess this is really all about...

Thanks for reading, I need to sort this out.

 

[ak5]

I am pretty much going through the EXACT(in almost every way) stage as you.
Im starting to get past it, its weird.

If anything, you have to get back up, start by little, talk to your parents? lol

do something but dont just waste time.

 

[LikRetsam]

I don't understand the exact problem here.

If you are ill, it is by no means an excuse. You are currently ****ed up and that's that.

Or, you have reached a point in your life where you are comfortable but feel you need to be doing something, to be getting better at something. Frankly, look at all you've done. Look at the great empire you have built. Today, you are ill. You may rest on that empire. It will hold you up. You may take the time to just relax, it is not a sin. The reason you arn't improving in some aspect is that you've gotten so many new skills that your body is now turning them into your new base. Soon, when the time is right, you will be doing things once again.

You being ill is not an excuse. It's an obstacle you can't overcome easily. So just rest until you get better.

 

[Cloud-uk]

You guys don't understand, I've been ill since the begining of this year. I've dropped 2 stone in weight, **** yesterday I slept from 4 in the afternoon untill 9 this morning. This isn't some little cold, this is now serious enough for me to have to go see specialists and stuff, who stick needles in me, do tests...then don't know what it is and refer me to another specialist.

Whoop-de-****ing-do.

I'm actually starting to get kinda worried now. I don't see there's much else I can do now I'm going to the doctors...I just can't stand the waiting! Everytime I have to go to see them again it's another month's wait while I watch my weight drop some more...grrrrr...

do something but dont just waste time.

Yes! This is what my problem is! I want to be doing a lot- not just sitting around on my "empire" waiting for this to blow over. But with exam revision and stuff to do I guess I'm already at my new lower limit. Maybe I just need to change my point of view...

Maybe though I don't want to, I am just going to have to wait untill the doctors find something to sort me out. Pisses me off a lot though.

 

[Cloud-uk]

Pah, **** it. Other people have it a lot worse off than me, and perhaps some good will come out of it. Wait it off I will then.

 

[InsidiousNstinct]

I can feel ya on some part. I've had 59 operations since 1995. I won't really go into detail because there's no need to for times sake. I'll tell you what I did though, I told ,myself that I wasnt going to give up. It's all about WILL power man.
Fight this thing with everything you got, just don't give up.

Also there's a drink out called, BOOST. Don't know if you've heard of it or not but I drink it. It's an energy drink so it helps you with energy. It also has a lot of protein (15g) which is a lot for a small can. It has other good nutrients in it as well that will help you put on weight. I notiched your from England so I don't know if they sell it there or not. Its also a lil pricey.

I wish you the best man! Keep us updated on your condition.

 

[LikRetsam]

Props to you for wanting to do something but reality check. You can't.

Your body doesn't have enough energy for big physical activites so I suggest you stick to mental. Play video games a bit, read. Get into board games. Anything in low physical need domain. Due to the limited info on what you can or can not do, that's really all I think you can do.