wow man good work. maybe you can help me, i'm really struggling.
i read you broke up from a 9 month relationship, mine was only 3 months - so in theory i should be well over her.
i'm up to day 39 (had to check the calendar) and without fail i've thought about her every single day (the good thing is for all she knows i haven't thought about her once!). now it's easy for me to give advice to others on here, but so much harder to take my own advice and take action.
i want to be electric too man, and i used to be! but i'm flat (altho i probably do put on a good act when i'm around others). she told me we were perfect etc etc blah blah, then pulled away, it just kills me. i've figured out it's my ego that took a beating - i always had girls chasing me (6 at once before this) and i didn't care, then i met this one who i really clicked with. so it's almost like this blindside rejection really damaged my confidence?? (edit: maybe because that happened once before 5 years ago and that did the single most damage to me i can remember). i also think too much :/
like you i analysed where it went wrong etc etc, but it's almost like she played the game until she had me (she told me we were perfect and she wanted us to be together, then 2 weeks later when i agreed, she became a different person). so it sucks to get used like that. i said too much "stuff" and probably ruined a lot of the mystery/challenge for her.
it's the numb sad feeling inside that sometimes does make it hard to smile. i've started smoking pot maybe 5 nights a week for the past few weeks, not too much - but just maybe 2 tokes to stop me from thinking. and it works, but i think it has a tradeoff - i sleep too long in the morning, and i am a bit less productive during the day.
i'm hitting gym, i'm still going out socialising, taking my dog to the beach etc etc.
the thing is even tho this chick was awesome, i can do better. and i will do better. but for me, i've always found that i cant move past an ex, until i have strong interest in another girl. in this regard i realised maybe i do rely on a girl for happiness - wrong i know. but before this girl put my heart in a blender i never did. she brought out my AFC that had been gone for years.
i did talk a lot to my best friend (a girl) about this but i cant talk to her anymore because she is not my personal psychologist, and it's not fair on her. so i'm keeping it inside now and it's eating me one day at a time.
how are you going so great after 10 days vs 9 months, and i'm struggling for air after 39 days vs 3 months??
just needed to vent....... i hate being flat.
cheers mate, keep up the good progress.
