My name is MOTU, and I am an affection wh0re

[MOTU]

Ok I admit it. I like, even crave the affection of women. I want the cuddling, softness, quiet moments. I like holding hands and lots of touching. I check my phone for messages from my woman more often than I should. I really enjoy her complimenting me, telling me how great and hot I am. When I am not getting this affection I want to do things to create it. And I am relatively indiscriminate as to the source of the affection. I just like it.

This creates some issues for me, that I am learning to manage.

First, it gives the the tendency to continue to escalate relationships to keep the dose of my drug of choice affection potent. Nothing ramps back up the affection level more effectively than taking your girl another move toward lifelong provisioning and security. So I have to control and pace myself.

Second, it can come across as needy. If I allow myself to try and create affectionate interactions, I give the woman the frame and the power, and make it seem as though I need her more than she needs me. I need to be comfortable with natural pauses in communication and attention.

Third, it can cause me to make commitments that I can't, or won't, keep. This is related to the first point. And that creates drama, that. I don't want or need in my life.

Fourth, it can cause me to waste energy. I have found that women like the affectionate interactions as much, or more, than I do. I don't have I work for it. And that energy can be much better spent elsewhere.

It's interesting, but I don't think it's validation that I am after. I like myself. A lot. And my life and situation is good. I am not lonely. I just like affection. Even from my kids or grand kids, so it's not always a sexual thing.

After reading No More Mr Nice Guy I have really thought about what in my personal paradigm may have created this strong desire I have. Maybe my mother didn't cuddle me enough as a baby? Who knows. But realizing that I have to craving has really helped me examine my actions and their goals, and make better decisions.

Anyone else feel this way?

 

[Malcontent]

Yes, but once the delusion of women being innocent, fragile, nurturing creatures was erased from my brain, it squashed that desire, for it was those characteristics that made me desire the affection of women.

I don't have kids so I can't relate to the other part.

In the past, I would get attached pretty quickly to a girl after a few interactions and I've finally weaned myself off that -- I think.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yes, I'm more into affection stuff than anything else. But I learned that women aren't so much that way (as Malcontent alluded to). Most would rather be reamed hard and spanked than cuddled or kissed.

I honestly believe that, on average, it's MEN that are more the affectionate/romantic ones than women are. Media brainwashing gives the impression that women want to cuddle and make love and men just want rough porn star sex. With some exceptions, the truth is closer to the opposite. If women truly were more into affectionate stuff, they go for nice guys, but we know that's not the case. She only wants tenderness AFTER she's been F-ed to exhaustion by the tattooed brute lol. Then she's happy to cuddle with him.

Short answer: If you want to cuddle, get a dog or lap cat lol.

 

[MOTU]

But I learned that women aren't so much that way (as Malcontent alluded to). Most would rather be reamed hard and spanked than cuddled or kissed.

Haha well I do that too... but I think you are right that it's often we men who are more romantic.

It's just been interesting to me, as I have tried to understand my own tendencies, how much I value the affectionate interactions.

 

[latinnova]

I honestly believe that, on average, it's MEN that are more the affectionate/romantic ones than women are.

This is the truth of the matter!