You're on the right track... Eliminating the ego, not blaming women, understanding what's going wrong with a clear head, realizing the common denominator (ie, you)... All good things to do.
Because you're physically attractive, women want to have sex with you. But, because you have no game and don't know how to attract them - they don't want a relationship with you. You're like a nice guy who gets sex. They don't feel any excitement, or much of anything, but think you're hot. Correct?
I think your mindset is causing a lot of these problems. Like you said, too much complacency. If a woman shows interest initially - you probably think its going to remain that way. Not at all true. She's most interested when you're not. You have to keep it that way. You have to keep them intrigued and guessing.
What's probably kicking your ass the most is your intentions, and how you go about them. You want a relationship, so you show them this. Acting all nice and polite, not rocking the boat, being too available, showing interest and affection too soon this, that, and the other. This builds a lot of comfort, but not attraction. In fact, it kills the attraction.
You must build the attraction before comfort. Dating before relationship. I think you're trying to get a relationship by acting like you want one. You probably want to show them your intentions, but it just turns them off. When you don't want a relationship - they do. When you don't show affection - they do. And so forth.
A lot of what you think is right is actually wrong. It doesn't make any sense, but that's the way it is. I think you're realizing this now. Your conditioning, and what you think they want has to change. It's not what they respond to, because they don't feel anything.
People view you as you make them feel. Being the nice guy doesn't make them feel anything for you - other than friendship. Or, friends who like each other. You're viewed as predictable, boring, neutral, friendly, nice... Just a simple fact.
I also think you're treating women like they're special and unique. So, you act all nice to them, and they view you as friendly. You have to treat them like you do your friends - with some sexual tension mixed in. You're not super nice and accommodating to your friends, so stop being that way towards women.
You need to flip the script. Act like you don't want a relationship. Don't treat them as special. Just chill and have fun with no expectations. Don't be predictable or boring. Present a challenge. Tease them, bust their chops, act ****y, etc. Date around. Be yourself... Your fun, exciting, independent self. Don't try to act all proper to win them over - because it doesn't work. All of this other stuff works to create attraction, which will improve your chances of getting a relationship.
You have to be exciting, passionate, interesting, etc, and this demands doing a lot of non-nice things. This doesn't mean you have to be an abusive jerk... Just not too nice. Sometimes you have to act bad to become good.
You can't go overboard with this stuff though. You have to show potential... That, you do have depth, intelligence, and a personality. It's all a balancing act. Not too nice, but not too bad. Gradually give more and become nicer as time goes on.
], we tend not to see things objectively. I get the feeling that your very enthusiastic need to feel these things is what's hindering you in your goal. Usually, the more we want something, the more we [subconsciously]