My most recent girls.. (sticky situation)

[Alex DeLarge]

This is sorta a sticky situation guys. So I've been hooking up with this girl recently (let's call her Stephanie) that I had been friends with since freshman year of highschool. We're both in our early 20s now. Things were going great for 2 weeks. We would have a great time together, going out, going on adventures laughing with eachother and everything. We both just had the FWB thing going on which I loved. Then one day when we were hanging out she dropped the "I don't think we should hook up as often" BS on me. I replied to her with "Well if you really want to, that's fine by me. It was a lot of fun while it lasted." and left her house.

She had texted me 4 days later asking me if I wanted to go out, but I just didn't reply. She texted me almost every day after that.

So after her, I start hanging out with a mutual friend of ours (Lets call her Christine).. And she is coming onto me strong. So I hooked up with her one night at our friends party in a bedroom. Everyone knew what was going on and they were all being typical drunk kids at the party standing outside the door and yelling funny stuff.

Me and Christine leave the room. Well who shows up to the party? You guessed it.. STEPHANIE. She just had a pissed off look on her face and said to me "Oh hey.. What's up Alex?" in a *****y tone and walks right by me.

The whole night stephanie was just glaring at me, but still having a good time with the rest of our friends. I was having a good time as well.

A few days later stephanie texts me to hangout with her at the beach. I didn't reply to her and just went up there with Christine. We run into her again. Stephanie asks me for a hug and tries to kiss me, but I just turn away and don't hug her back. She just says "You won't even hug me?" and all of this silly girl stuff. Stephanie was leaving the next day to go to France for a month too. I felt bad, but I felt like I needed to maintain my position and not cave in to her desires if she does not fulfill mine.

The next day she sent me a few texts. I finally replied to her and we had a somewhat decent conversation.

She said to me in it this..

"I'm sorry I was acting different before. I hope we're okay. You mean a lot to me."

Now I don't want to fall back into her trap. I feel as though she does mean these words since we've known eachother for about 7 years.

What do you guys think. Is it possible to salvage Stephanie and bring her back to FWB or a possible relationship?

 

[Tiguere]

No no no you already showed all of us you cant be FWB with steph cuz you got butthurt when she threw you a sh!t test which you failed by the way. Wome. Will say things like that purely to see your reaction. And instead of saying " sure if you feel that way "Then kissing her you instead threw a tantrum.
Ive been in your shoes man.


You have feelings for this girl but i dont think she wants a relationship with you. You can verbalize your intentions if you want.

But i recomend to have fun with christine and meet new girls on the side.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I didn't throw a tantrum at all toward stephanie. I was sort of nonchalant/careless about the situation.. I still am sort of, but I like her company. She's a lot of fun.

Christine also hates my guys now.. FML haha

 

[Johnny_Kage]

Yeah that's typical of FWB. She's trying to push a relationship so she was trying to cut you off a bit.

Next time, just act as if she didn't say it and proceed as usual. Hook up with her friends at your own discretion

Of course, there's a good chance that neither of these girls are done with you yet. Just be patient and game others.

 

[Scars]

No no no you already showed all of us you cant be FWB with steph cuz you got butthurt when she threw you a sh!t test which you failed by the way. Wome. Will say things like that purely to see your reaction. And instead of saying " sure if you feel that way "Then kissing her you instead threw a tantrum.
Ive been in your shoes man.


You have feelings for this girl but i dont think she wants a relationship with you. You can verbalize your intentions if you want.

But i recomend to have fun with christine and meet new girls on the side.

Agreed. It was simply a sh!t test which you aced at the beginning. "If that's what you want, okay.. blah blah" One she started texting you everyday afterwards you had her right back in the palm of your hands. Then after hooking up with the other girl, all you had to do was pull her aside and give her some sweet talk and you could had easily been fvcking them both. Instead you let your emotions get the best of you.

Then again, she is going to be out of the country for a month, so fvck it. If i were you, I'd patch things up with her though so she is all hott and ready for you when she gets back. Keep fvcking Cristine, and spin even more plates on top of that.

Play on playa.

-Scars

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Agreed. It was simply a sh!t test which you aced at the beginning. "If that's what you want, okay.. blah blah" One she started texting you everyday afterwards you had her right back in the palm of your hands. Then after hooking up with the other girl, all you had to do was pull her aside and give her some sweet talk and you could had easily been fvcking them both. Instead you let your emotions get the best of you.

Then again, she is going to be out of the country for a month, so fvck it. If i were you, I'd patch things up with her though so she is all hott and ready for you when she gets back. Keep fvcking Cristine, and spin even more plates on top of that.

Play on playa.

-Scars

Well most times I had legitimate reasons to not send texts back. I work 10 hours a day about 6 days a week, sometimes 7. Most times Steph would send me texts I would be out with Christine too. I personally find it rude to be on the phone a lot when out with a girl or out with friends. That's just me though.

I know this site doesn't advocate it, but I was thinking maybe I should be more open with my emotions toward Stephanie? I'm usually playful and cool with her, but I'm always very emotionally reserved and don't talk much about those things.

I'm not saying pull a typical AFC and spill my guts saying "I LOVE YOU I WANNA BE WITH YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!" But more so to just let her know I care for her and she means a lot to me?

I don't think I've ever complimented her either. Maybe I should get on that. Not something like "OMG YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL" but more a reserved chill approach like "You look pretty tonight".

I feel as though I'm overanalyzing all of this and it's not really a big deal haha. But I'm just so sick of fvcking things up with girls.

 

[loveshogun]

Some (very few) women are for being friends. Others for dating.

Stephanie is not for dating. You both tried it, and it didn't work. Doesn't matter why - if she can't be mature about it, you have to be. It's not like a submarine where both the Captain and the XO need to turn their keys at the same time.

I would say you dodged a drama bullet, in the sense that she's going away for a while. Considering you hooked up with her friend, most of the time this situation would explode with drama.

Don't let your guard down, though. Drama isn't like a sniper's bullet - it's more like a WW2 era German MG-42... thousands of rounds of BS ruining your D-Day landing.

Not saying you should stop being friends with Stephanie - you two practically grew up together. But, sometimes, distance is what's needed to keep a friendship strong - not to mention keeping it focused on mutual respect rather than mutual neediness.