"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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My mom tried on my jacket. Now it feels weird.

Guoy Darko

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My mom tried on my jacket. Now it feels weird. (OCD?)

OK, this is maybe weird. Maybe not at all. I’m just wondering about you guys’ opinion.

Last weekend I went over to my parents’ house. I was wearing a new leather jacket I bought somewhere last week. My mom told me she loved my new jacket and told me it looked really good on me. She asked me if she could try it on to see how it looked on her. I didn’t really know what to say. I didn’t want it, but I couldn’t say “no” for some reason. Anyway, she tried it on for the mirror and gave it back.

But I dunno. Ever since she wore it, even though it was only for about a minute, it now doesn’t feel mine anymore. I feel really weird and kind of dirty when I’m wearing it now. Like it’s her jacket I’m wearing now, and I don’t like that feeling. It’s hard to explain. I also feel like it rubs off to other clothes. For example a sweater I’m wearing under the jacket.

I also had this when I was about 9 or 10 years old. When my mom and dad were both working my grandma came over to baby-sit my younger brother and me and made lunch and dinner for us. After a while I found out my grandma sometimes took a nap in the afternoon in me or my brothers bed. I was freaked out for some reason and found it very disgusting to sleep in that same bed.

What I have now is pretty much the same. I have this urge to wash my leather jacket, but you cannot wash leather!

I know most people don’t like to wear second hand clothes, but it feels like my version is a bit extreme. For some reason I only have this with older women. For example: I don’t mind it when my brother or friends of mine need to borrow some of my clothes.

I’m just curious how other guys feel about this. I cannot really discuss it with my friends, because it’s maybe kind of “weird”.

So how do you guys feel about this? Would you have a problem with things like your mom wearing your jacket? Or none at all? What would you do? Just curious.
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Guoy Darko

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Yes, haha, I was expecting that one to fall. :S But seriously...
 

02hero

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Maybe you have a touch of OCD mate.
It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if my mum tried on my jacket.
 

Guoy Darko

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Thanks for your answer. It's true I have OCD, but only last year things got really out of hand. But this form of OCD where I don't like it when older women wear my clothes I had since I was about nine years old. So I just want to check how other guys would respond in this situation. I know yours, others are welcome. Thanks!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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02hero

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I think most people have some form of OCD in their lives, you're certainly not alone. I think it's where most superstitions come from...

I for example always put my right shin pad and soccer boot on before my left before a game, otherwise I think I might not play well. And I do like to have my place tidy with everything in its place.
It's when these rituals start messing with your life that you should seek professional help though. Such as tapping on windows and switching lights on and off in a specific order before you can leave the house. That sort of thing...
 

Guoy Darko

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I have professional help since october 2007. I talked to him about this fear before and he thinks it has something to do with a fear of losing your manliness. Something like that. When an older would women would wear my clothes I would feel less of a man. That's what he (my psych) thinks after hearing me out. So since sosuave.com is mostly about manliness, I thought I drop it here. I'm also curious about other people's opinions. :)
 

The Bat

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You do know that you sucked on her tits when you were little...?

Hmm, I don't know maybe childhood trauma...? Like you were going through puberty and started noticing the female gender in a sexual way...and then your grandma slept in your bed...the same place where you have dirty thoughts about the female gender...and now you've suppressed your sexual fantasy but it was released when your mom tried on your jacket that she told you you looked good in...

Oedipus Complex, anyone? :crackup:
 

Guoy Darko

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The Bat said:
You do know that you sucked on her tits when you were little...?

Hmm, I don't know maybe childhood trauma...? Like you were going through puberty and started noticing the female gender in a sexual way...and then your grandma slept in your bed...the same place where you have dirty thoughts about the female gender...and now you've suppressed your sexual fantasy but it was released when your mom tried on your jacket that she told you you looked good in...

Oedipus Complex, anyone? :crackup:
Well Oedipus...... I don't know. My psych also told me about it. But I have this with any older woman. Not only with MY mom. Probably with anyone's mom here. But I wouldn't mind borrowing my jacket to anyone's sister. :S Weird maybe. You wouldn't have a problem with it Bat?
 

Aragon034

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The Bat said:
You do know that you sucked on her tits when you were little...?

Hmm, I don't know maybe childhood trauma...? Like you were going through puberty and started noticing the female gender in a sexual way...and then your grandma slept in your bed...the same place where you have dirty thoughts about the female gender...and now you've suppressed your sexual fantasy but it was released when your mom tried on your jacket that she told you you looked good in...

Oedipus Complex, anyone? :crackup:
arrrghhh you mother ****ing bastard! ;) now i can't stop thinking about it and both wretching and laughing.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Guoy Darko

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I know it's maybe super weird for a "normal" person to think about, but I'm still wondering how the guys here would react on a situation like this. Please some more reactions. Thanks.
 

Desdinova

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This likely results from something that happened in your childhood - likely what you told us about your grandma.

I have something a bit similar like this. I HATE it when I get any kind of affection from my parents, whether it be a touch or anything verbal. My dad told me he loved me once, and I felt absolutely disgusted. If my mother tries to hug me, I feel disgusted. It's almost like I'm being violated or abused. Yeah, guess where it comes from...

Perhaps you should just avoid letting older women touch your stuff. Oh yeah, and you could probably get something to clean your leather jacket if you feel the need to do so. There are shops that specialize in leather cleaning and repair.
 

The Bat

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Guoy Darko said:
Well Oedipus...... I don't know. My psych also told me about it. But I have this with any older woman. Not only with MY mom. Probably with anyone's mom here. But I wouldn't mind borrowing my jacket to anyone's sister. :S Weird maybe. You wouldn't have a problem with it Bat?
Hmm..no, not really. I wouldn't care if my mom tried my jacket for a minute. Now if she were to try on my boxers, then there may be an issue...:trouble:

Don't worry about it then dude. Just fantasize about younger girls instead of MILFs. :whistle:
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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MrS

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what is wrong with you?
 
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