CapedCrusader08
Banned
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- Sep 27, 2008
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I'm sorry to hear.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
My mom just passed away this afternoon.
- Thread starter jafyk
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
just so suave
Senior Don Juan
My sincere condolences, if you need to speak about anything just PM me. I wish you the best of luck through this difficult time.
jafyk
Master Don Juan
Thank you fellows so much for your support. You know when people say hang in there and be strong.I wonder if what they are really talking about is for you to save up your energy for all the running around the funeral arrangement requires.It's like my stress has come from all the running around, mutiples calls coming in and people whose calls have to be returned,and then there's the actual funeral expenses. I just caught a break so, I'm here (exhales). It's funny in a sad way. Well, the funeral is tomorrow. To the guy who put up that pic of a cartoony looking bouquet very cute and funny, lol. I appreciate it, lol. See you guys later.
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
jafyk, thank you for sharing this with us, and my condolenses to you and your family.
I am feeling so much pain just hearing about your loss. I know I would have a very hard time if I lost my mom, and will the day I do. That would be most painful thing to me, so I feel your pain.
Wish you all the best.
"Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive
If you can"
I am feeling so much pain just hearing about your loss. I know I would have a very hard time if I lost my mom, and will the day I do. That would be most painful thing to me, so I feel your pain.
Wish you all the best.
"Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive
If you can"
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
very sorry to hear that bro... since I don't know what condelence means I thought i would tell you something i do know. When my grandfather lost his companion he told me " Son, I have been with this women whom I loved for 54 years.. it is very hard and tough on me, but when one of your loved one passes away, it is also a time for one of your pad habits to pass..." And from that day on he didn't smoke a single cig till the day he died.
jafyk
Master Don Juan
Wow, that's a remarkable story. We had the funeral today and it went well. For the short notice we had we had such a huge turn out the funeral home seating we had wasnt enough and we had to get more chairs. While in a way I'm relieved the funeral is out of the way, still I just feel like I'm in a bad dream and I don't know what to do. I was going through my phone and came across my mom's # and it's just weird knowing she won't be calling me any more for whatever reason. I don't know how my brother feels he doesn't talk about anything. It must feel strange knowing he has to relocate and also losing a mother at the same time. I just want to reiterate again that I appreciate the support you guys have offered. Here's a problem maybe someone can offer advice. It's winter in Indiana where I reside and people tend to do garage sales in the summer. So, I'm wondering what to do with all her stuff. I know it's not all my decision because my aunt (her sister) is involved too. She was renting an apartment. Any ideas anyone. Anyone been in a similar situation?eatgel said:very sorry to hear that bro... since I don't know what condelence means I thought i would tell you something i do know. When my grandfather lost his companion he told me " Son, I have been with this women whom I loved for 54 years.. it is very hard and tough on me, but when one of your loved one passes away, it is also a time for one of your pad habits to pass..." And from that day on he didn't smoke a single cig till the day he died.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
- 4,476
- Reaction score
- 182
Well for my dad my mom and I tried giving away some of his clothes to relatives but then we found out that most of them weren't his size.
He was a guy that I'd say was about 5'10 195lbs on average and most of his brothers were either shorter and skinnier than him or way taller and bigger than him.
I'm about his same size but the problem is we had vastly different styles of dress so they couldn't go to me either. I think we ended up giving away some to the salvation army and selling a few more pieces in a garage sale in the summer but yeah my mom was left with a lot of his clothes still that she'll probably end up ultimately getting rid of at the salvation army when they need more.
Before we started this up though we went through about a year of the grieving process and then decided on what if anything of his clothes to keep.
He had a black leather jacket that was in my style so I kept that to remember him by and wear eventually.
So unless you absolutely have to get rid of your mom's stuff now for some reason be if financial or whatever if I were you I'd consider thinking about if she had a shirt or coat or something that you'd like to keep to remember her by.
Obviously you are a guy and can't wear her stuff so don't think I'm suggesting that but yeah what I am suggesting is again just consider if you want anything of her's to remember her by before chucking everything out.
This awful situation just occurred for you so you may need a good amount of time before you are thinking clearly about things to make proper decisions.
You may be in a kind of shock right now which is common after a great loss.
He was a guy that I'd say was about 5'10 195lbs on average and most of his brothers were either shorter and skinnier than him or way taller and bigger than him.
I'm about his same size but the problem is we had vastly different styles of dress so they couldn't go to me either. I think we ended up giving away some to the salvation army and selling a few more pieces in a garage sale in the summer but yeah my mom was left with a lot of his clothes still that she'll probably end up ultimately getting rid of at the salvation army when they need more.
Before we started this up though we went through about a year of the grieving process and then decided on what if anything of his clothes to keep.
He had a black leather jacket that was in my style so I kept that to remember him by and wear eventually.
So unless you absolutely have to get rid of your mom's stuff now for some reason be if financial or whatever if I were you I'd consider thinking about if she had a shirt or coat or something that you'd like to keep to remember her by.
Obviously you are a guy and can't wear her stuff so don't think I'm suggesting that but yeah what I am suggesting is again just consider if you want anything of her's to remember her by before chucking everything out.
This awful situation just occurred for you so you may need a good amount of time before you are thinking clearly about things to make proper decisions.
You may be in a kind of shock right now which is common after a great loss.
We just had a winter garage sale. Sold a bit of the stuff, rest we gave away.
I did keep a shirt or two that smelt like my dad, but threw it out a couple years later.
Still have a deoderant stick he used, which always reminds me of him (odd thing to keep I know!).
Anyways, all the best with it, life moves on, but you have to first grieve. Everyone ends up in the same place in the end anyways (wherever that is).
I did keep a shirt or two that smelt like my dad, but threw it out a couple years later.
Still have a deoderant stick he used, which always reminds me of him (odd thing to keep I know!).
Anyways, all the best with it, life moves on, but you have to first grieve. Everyone ends up in the same place in the end anyways (wherever that is).
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
jafyk
Master Don Juan
I get what you're saying. My situation is slightly complicated in the sense that my mom was renting a place. Today is already the 2nd of the month. Most places want the rent by the 5th and if you still haven't paid by the end of the month. You get evicted. Considering money is tight now, doesn't make sense to keep a place that no one is living in. Also my parents having been separated for a while now (neither of them is/was seeing any other person). Of course I will look to see what I can use it's just things like furniture etc. The clothes can always go to salvation army. She also had tons of books...KontrollerX said:Well for my dad my mom and I tried giving away some of his clothes to relatives but then we found out that most of them weren't his size.
He was a guy that I'd say was about 5'10 195lbs on average and most of his brothers were either shorter and skinnier than him or way taller and bigger than him.
I'm about his same size but the problem is we had vastly different styles of dress so they couldn't go to me either. I think we ended up giving away some to the salvation army and selling a few more pieces in a garage sale in the summer but yeah my mom was left with a lot of his clothes still that she'll probably end up ultimately getting rid of at the salvation army when they need more.
Before we started this up though we went through about a year of the grieving process and then decided on what if anything of his clothes to keep.
He had a black leather jacket that was in my style so I kept that to remember him by and wear eventually.
So unless you absolutely have to get rid of your mom's stuff now for some reason be if financial or whatever if I were you I'd consider thinking about if she had a shirt or coat or something that you'd like to keep to remember her by.
Obviously you are a guy and can't wear her stuff so don't think I'm suggesting that but yeah what I am suggesting is again just consider if you want anything of her's to remember her by before chucking everything out.
This awful situation just occurred for you so you may need a good amount of time before you are thinking clearly about things to make proper decisions.
You may be in a kind of shock right now which is common after a great loss.
alphamailman
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2008
- Messages
- 170
- Reaction score
- 6
- Age
- 43
I'm sorry brother. This will be tough.
My mother came down with leukemia back in February and is in remission now as of a few months ago. My aunt just came down with lymphoma last month. Around the time my mother became cancer-free I almost died by a bad mix of prescription medicines with OTC medicines and supplements. Suicide or not, I'll let people draw their own conclusions, but I've got some goals I'm working towards. I do wish for a better 2009 for you and me.
My mother came down with leukemia back in February and is in remission now as of a few months ago. My aunt just came down with lymphoma last month. Around the time my mother became cancer-free I almost died by a bad mix of prescription medicines with OTC medicines and supplements. Suicide or not, I'll let people draw their own conclusions, but I've got some goals I'm working towards. I do wish for a better 2009 for you and me.
Sorry for your loss. The only words I have for you is something from Steve Jobs. He said that death is inevitable but also necessary for us to live our lives to the fullest. Without death, we may live for eternity without purpose. The short time we have on this earth is what makes life difficult and valueable.
So, with the moments you had with your mother, live the rest of your life. Exemplify the character that she brought you up to become. And live every moment as if she were still here watching.
So, with the moments you had with your mother, live the rest of your life. Exemplify the character that she brought you up to become. And live every moment as if she were still here watching.
jafyk
Master Don Juan
bob2007 said:Sorry for your loss. The only words I have for you is something from Steve Jobs. He said that death is inevitable but also necessary for us to live our lives to the fullest. Without death, we may live for eternity without purpose. The short time we have on this earth is what makes life difficult and valueable.
So, with the moments you had with your mother, live the rest of your life. Exemplify the character that she brought you up to become. And live every moment as if she were still here watching.[/QUOTE
Such wise words, thank you.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.