My main plate's dad is terminal. Advice needed.

[Induced Drag]

I have an atypical problem compared to a lot of the normal issues discussed on this forum. Here's the deal. My main plate's father was diagnosed with terminal cancer two days ago at the Mayo Clinic. I've been seeing this woman for close to two months. So far she's proven herself to be a high quality woman, hence why she's my main plate. Her IL in me is probably in the 80s. I've been using the principles I picked up here with a lot of success but I am very new to the red pill. Here's my question. How do I handle this terrible situation with her dad? I want to be supportive and make myself available to her but at the same time I don't want to revert to any afc behavior. I don't know what the protocol regarding something like this is. She was chasing me fairly aggressively up until her father's diagnosis two days ago. Do I continue to let her initiate conversations? Do I check up on her every few days, etc.? Any tips from the DJs out there?

 

[Dgwizdal]

Tough call - you have only been seeing her two months so you do have some responsibility here to be a source of comfort but nothing that you need to get into AFCville about. I would cut back a bit on some of the game tactics and just be there to listen when she needs you: this will be more than half the battle. Also, Check up on her every few days without mentioning too much about the situation unless she brings it up. Whatever you do - do not get needy if she is withdrawing her attention or it appears that her interest level is dropping. She will be going through an emotional rollercoaster with this sh*t and will need you to be her immoveable oak tree in the face of a hurricane.

I went through something similar and handled it too aloofly which not only made me feel like sh*t but upset the chick big time. Reach out a bit more often with less "game" involved and be her rock when she needs to let it out and you'll be fine.

 

[GotED?]

I would say let her come to you when she NEEDS you, and if she does - then you know she will never forget the loyalty and kindness that you displayed during the times she needs you the most.

Women look for men who they can RELY and DEPEND on to be STRONG in their moment of weakness in life.

I don't think this is the time to pull any game/tactics on her as a DJ - just be a good person and treat her as your own sister (not as a plate and possible enemy who is going to dump you) until the worst is over for her.

Maybe I am just a bit too loyal to the principal of human love for each other, but there are time we need to drop our selfish needs (our DJ aspirations) and take care of another human being just as it is, not thinking in the perspective if you are going to be labeled an 'AFC' or not. So what if she ends up dumping you - if you have a good heart, then you know you helped another person get through the worst part of her life and that would mean everything to my soul if I were you (who gives a sh!t about women and gaming them, there are always more - really for the most part. People need each other in the end).

If I were you (and in my mind there IS 2 billion women out there available and options are endless, so losing another one possibly don't mean much), I would be there for her not really caring what the outcome is. I would help her get past this dark period in her life IF SHE NEEDS YOU. For me, there's a time to play, and there's a time to be a decent human being.

Have no expectations of the outcome - this is a standard rule I live by anyways in my life. Things become so much easier when you have no expectation of the outcome in just about everything. Then you rarely get disappointed or sad - and won't end up coming here posting the same stupid questions in the end 500 times for 500 different women.

Be well.

Exodus

 

[Epimanes]

You can have some beta traits in situations like this. Has nothing to do with being afc. A real man will be her rock when she is emotionally unstable due to stuff like this. Be outcome independant for a while during her tough times and give her some space emotionally to recoup. Things will get worse for her before they get better. Be the rock... And her pillow for some soft landings.

Epi

 

[VladPatton]

This will be a bad time for her and for you as well. There is just no sugar coating this reality. Look to your other plates for relief, it's gonna be a long road to recovery for her.

 

[The Duke]

Epimanes offered some solid advice....as usual.

 

[Induced Drag]

Thanks for the advice guys. I think I'll give her a few more days and if I don't hear from her I'll check up on her.