"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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My low self-esteem

SayWhat

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We all know self-esteem is key to practically everything.

I still don't know why I have such low self-esteem and more importantly, I don't know where it comes from.

For anyone who is interested and some more background, check some of my other threads I started.

Reasons why I should have great confidence:
- I've been selected out of a selection procedure for a company out of 4000 people (they are searching for 10 people and I am one of them)
- I get called good looking at least once a week
- I am terrific at everything I do, I give myself 100% at every job and people notice and tell me
- have a thrilling hobby
- have a great physique

Still this stuff doesn't do sh*t. When I got the call that I was with the best 10 out of 4000 I didn't feel anything, I still was thinking about my ex (check the 'very sad post'), why she left me and why I still had no girlfriend.

I went to a psychologist for a while, even he couldn't figure it out. I'm quite sure it's because of my father passing away when I was 12 and thus my mother raising me for the most part of my childhood. But I don't know how to get out of it. I'm 27 now and took a horrible decision last week which I thought was right but was infested with feelings towards my ex and being too impulsive.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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its easy to "get out" man. Just take a big shot of dope and have a couple of plastic bags over your head and tied at the neck! :) But if you want to have a LIFE, google and interlibary loans/ebooks are your friends. Search for Nathaniel Brandon's THE PSYCHOLOGY of Self Esteem, and his HONORING the Self. Also, Ayn Rands's "Philosophy:Who Needs It"?
 

Infern0

Master Don Juan
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SayWhat said:
We all know self-esteem is key to practically everything.

I still don't know why I have such low self-esteem and more importantly, I don't know where it comes from.

For anyone who is interested and some more background, check some of my other threads I started.

Reasons why I should have great confidence:
- I've been selected out of a selection procedure for a company out of 4000 people (they are searching for 10 people and I am one of them)
- I get called good looking at least once a week
- I am terrific at everything I do, I give myself 100% at every job and people notice and tell me
- have a thrilling hobby
- have a great physique

Still this stuff doesn't do sh*t. When I got the call that I was with the best 10 out of 4000 I didn't feel anything, I still was thinking about my ex (check the 'very sad post'), why she left me and why I still had no girlfriend.

I went to a psychologist for a while, even he couldn't figure it out. I'm quite sure it's because of my father passing away when I was 12 and thus my mother raising me for the most part of my childhood. But I don't know how to get out of it. I'm 27 now and took a horrible decision last week which I thought was right but was infested with feelings towards my ex and being too impulsive.
Almost certainly.

I had similar type upbringing and my mum had loads of problems of her own which were passed on to me, although i didn't really know it until recently.
 

SayWhat

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Infern0 said:
Almost certainly.

I had similar type upbringing and my mum had loads of problems of her own which were passed on to me, although i didn't really know it until recently.
And what did you do to get out of it? I don't really know what would be 'normal' so I don't what I could improve or more important, how to improve.
 

Infern0

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SayWhat said:
And what did you do to get out of it? I don't really know what would be 'normal' so I don't what I could improve or more important, how to improve.
Studying the dj bible and Corey Waynes work.

It isn't a overnight fix, you have to learn from scratch. The sooner you start the better
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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TheMonkeyKing

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As I've said to others, there is a script that we run through every day in our own minds - our internal monologue. Some people experience pictures, others words. Others, both. It represents the relationship that we have with ourselves, as well as others.

There are positive and negative representations within the script. Practicing saying and seeing positive things, every day throughout the day, can be reassuring and affirms to us why we should carry on, regardless of anyone else, because we are worthy.

There's no doubt you've had a rough ride of it.
 
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