Let's take a look at who I was.
Flashback to high school. I was always just a normal kid. I liked to do things, but I was a follower, never a leader. I had the respect of almost no one. I walked around with my head down, averting people's eye contact and glances. I wasn't a loser, I got good grades, I was captain of my cross country team, I was friendly with everyone but friends with no one. I am very smart, athletic and good looking, but I had no confidence to let these attributes shine. Even though I was an excellent runner, I had little confidence in my ability and training although I ran almost 60 miles a week last summer. I had no confidence when it came to interacting with people, especially girls. I never kissed a girl until I was 18 years old, halfway through senior year. I was a pessimist and everyone knew it. At one point I thought a lot about suicide and just how to get away from it all - but I don't want to go into that and why.
Flash forward to senior year of high school. I found this website, read some articles on it. Learned all about the rules of attraction, certain little "PUA tricks", e.g. kino. I had to start with baby steps, but I slowly started to gain confidence. It was all false confidence. I tried to walk around with my head up. I started to set goals for myself. Since I was a runner I was VERY thin, but athletic. I was 5'11, 140 lbs. I learned about bodybuilding, how to get big, and I started to work out in my basement and eat. I've always loved to take care of my body, that was the one thing I could be proud of. 10 pounds later. I can look people in the eyes. I can do some small kino. I start to go out and go to more parties. There were a few setbacks but I won't get into it. One night, I got drunk, and I hooked up with this girl that I ALWAYS had my eye on since sophomore year. The feeling was unreal. Instantly, I had 100% confidence and people knew it. For a short while, I gained the respect I deserved, I could talk to people, I was 'cool', I didn't really care what people thought of me. I get looks from GIRLS, real looks. It seems that they are noticing me.. I act like I have the respect of everyone in the school and it showed. It took me a while, but people wanted to be my friend. but this feeling didn't last long and I reverted to my old ways shortly after. So by this point I learn a lot about myself - especially what it's like to be myself. And I loved it and embraced it.
So the summer starts. I join a real gym and start going 3x a week doing 5x5 loading. My lifts start to go way up. I get a job with a lot of new faces in it. Already more confident, I make friends and command some respect from the get-go and it feels good to let people know the true me. Tonight, I weighed myself at 170 lbs. Think about that... 30 lbs over a 4 or 5 month period. The best part is that people NOTICE, and I feel great about it. My size alone is enough to command some respect now. I am doing a clean bulk. Friends come up to me and say "Wow, you've gotten bigger". Last night a girl sang a song joking about how jacked I am... haha. But I don't want to be thought of as a meat head. No longer do I want to go to parties and hook up with drunken beer sluts. I'm past that. I want a quality woman who I can share my life with. There is this one girl I've been seeing, a real girl who I give my respect to and who respects me. Imagine that, ME, with a quality girl, she's smart, pretty, funny, but she is just one of those genuine girls. She didn't put out easily, and our relationship went much deeper than just anything sexual.
So now, she dumped me. Why? I won't go into it but I made a few mistakes. I was/am heart broken. I loved this girl, but it turned out she didn't love me. This made me learn even more about myself. I could stay sad and upset about it, and I could turn into my old self. But I came too far, and why the HELL would I do that? Instead of getting depressed and hiding in a shell, I didn't take it personally. I really did think this girl was the be-all end-all. I cried a lot, but this was such a shock to me that I no longer cared about what people thought of me.
flash forward to today. It made me stronger. My posture improved 100%. My mom actually told me, straight up, that my posture improved. She said I got bigger. She told me to keep doing what I'm doing because it works. I'm going to get excellent grades in college, I'm going to enjoy meeting a ton of new people and making a ton of new friends. My favorite new thing is earning the respect of people that I completely 100% deserve. I feel like I have all the ambition and drive I could hope for. Nothing and no one can stop me now. I'm not afraid to show people who I really am and what I live for.
I'm now a real man. I have goals, I have passions, I have love, I know who I am and I love the real me. I'm sure of myself, I'm sure of the path I'm taking, no longer am I insecure, confident, pessimistic, negative or shy.
There were a few things I've learned about myself which I might pass on to the people that read this post.
PATIENCE. It takes time to learn about yourself and discover who you are. Really, it's a never ending process. I learn something or change something new about myself every day. There were so many ups and downs throughout my 'journey', and as time passes it gets better and better. More and more friends, more and more respect, more and more ambition and willpower. No matter how deep a hole your in, you can get out. It just takes some of the strength from the inside, and a TRUE will to change yourself. Finding my passions helped me through this. I love going to the gym and running.
Don't depend on others to define your happiness. You'll read this in some other posts here, but it's really true. It's at the heart of being a secure, confident individual. Don't take anything personally, ever. You've probably heard 'Be yourself' a million times, but this is hard for some people, and it takes a lot of work to let it show through. It's nice to have companionship with friends and sometimes women, but friends change all the time and people come and go, and no matter what you're left with yourself, so you better like it. Keep the good friends that matter.
Be optimistic. For all my life I was an unhappy pessimist. People could see I was unhappy and negative and therefore didn't want to be around me. Sometimes I had to fake optimism, but in the end, I've legitimately changed my outlook on life to be a good one. I found out this is where my newfound ambition and drive has come from. I now WANT to get out there and meet new people, make new friends, show people who I am, I want to go to the gym and keep doing what I'm doing because I will make more progress.
Don't fall in love too easily. You're the prize, the real man with ambition, love, willpower, not her.. I don't think it's good to 'go after' girls. It's your job to create the initial attraction and set everything up in the beginning, and it should be her job to chase.
So thank you to everyone here to setting me off on the right foot. I thought just reading articles in here would change me instantly into the person I wanted to be. Wow, was I wrong. What they did though was make me think and realize more about myself, things I never knew but got the insight into. Sometimes the little tips and tricks work, but most people need to work here on their 'inner game'. They gave me some motivation to get out there and start making things happen. But you won't make anything happen just by reading it on here, you have to do it, you have to change. I feel like I just left adolescence and made my transition into manhood. There is a lot more, I could go a lot deeper, but I'm gonna cut it off right here because that's the meat of it. Keep in mind, this all took place over a VERY long period, and I left some really good stuff out, but I'm running out of room. Hopefully some people here will learn something from this, and I think a lot of other people have made the transition themselves.
going to the gym and finding MY passions -- best thing I ever did. Never change who you are for someone or something else.
Flashback to high school. I was always just a normal kid. I liked to do things, but I was a follower, never a leader. I had the respect of almost no one. I walked around with my head down, averting people's eye contact and glances. I wasn't a loser, I got good grades, I was captain of my cross country team, I was friendly with everyone but friends with no one. I am very smart, athletic and good looking, but I had no confidence to let these attributes shine. Even though I was an excellent runner, I had little confidence in my ability and training although I ran almost 60 miles a week last summer. I had no confidence when it came to interacting with people, especially girls. I never kissed a girl until I was 18 years old, halfway through senior year. I was a pessimist and everyone knew it. At one point I thought a lot about suicide and just how to get away from it all - but I don't want to go into that and why.
Flash forward to senior year of high school. I found this website, read some articles on it. Learned all about the rules of attraction, certain little "PUA tricks", e.g. kino. I had to start with baby steps, but I slowly started to gain confidence. It was all false confidence. I tried to walk around with my head up. I started to set goals for myself. Since I was a runner I was VERY thin, but athletic. I was 5'11, 140 lbs. I learned about bodybuilding, how to get big, and I started to work out in my basement and eat. I've always loved to take care of my body, that was the one thing I could be proud of. 10 pounds later. I can look people in the eyes. I can do some small kino. I start to go out and go to more parties. There were a few setbacks but I won't get into it. One night, I got drunk, and I hooked up with this girl that I ALWAYS had my eye on since sophomore year. The feeling was unreal. Instantly, I had 100% confidence and people knew it. For a short while, I gained the respect I deserved, I could talk to people, I was 'cool', I didn't really care what people thought of me. I get looks from GIRLS, real looks. It seems that they are noticing me.. I act like I have the respect of everyone in the school and it showed. It took me a while, but people wanted to be my friend. but this feeling didn't last long and I reverted to my old ways shortly after. So by this point I learn a lot about myself - especially what it's like to be myself. And I loved it and embraced it.
So the summer starts. I join a real gym and start going 3x a week doing 5x5 loading. My lifts start to go way up. I get a job with a lot of new faces in it. Already more confident, I make friends and command some respect from the get-go and it feels good to let people know the true me. Tonight, I weighed myself at 170 lbs. Think about that... 30 lbs over a 4 or 5 month period. The best part is that people NOTICE, and I feel great about it. My size alone is enough to command some respect now. I am doing a clean bulk. Friends come up to me and say "Wow, you've gotten bigger". Last night a girl sang a song joking about how jacked I am... haha. But I don't want to be thought of as a meat head. No longer do I want to go to parties and hook up with drunken beer sluts. I'm past that. I want a quality woman who I can share my life with. There is this one girl I've been seeing, a real girl who I give my respect to and who respects me. Imagine that, ME, with a quality girl, she's smart, pretty, funny, but she is just one of those genuine girls. She didn't put out easily, and our relationship went much deeper than just anything sexual.
So now, she dumped me. Why? I won't go into it but I made a few mistakes. I was/am heart broken. I loved this girl, but it turned out she didn't love me. This made me learn even more about myself. I could stay sad and upset about it, and I could turn into my old self. But I came too far, and why the HELL would I do that? Instead of getting depressed and hiding in a shell, I didn't take it personally. I really did think this girl was the be-all end-all. I cried a lot, but this was such a shock to me that I no longer cared about what people thought of me.
flash forward to today. It made me stronger. My posture improved 100%. My mom actually told me, straight up, that my posture improved. She said I got bigger. She told me to keep doing what I'm doing because it works. I'm going to get excellent grades in college, I'm going to enjoy meeting a ton of new people and making a ton of new friends. My favorite new thing is earning the respect of people that I completely 100% deserve. I feel like I have all the ambition and drive I could hope for. Nothing and no one can stop me now. I'm not afraid to show people who I really am and what I live for.
I'm now a real man. I have goals, I have passions, I have love, I know who I am and I love the real me. I'm sure of myself, I'm sure of the path I'm taking, no longer am I insecure, confident, pessimistic, negative or shy.
There were a few things I've learned about myself which I might pass on to the people that read this post.
PATIENCE. It takes time to learn about yourself and discover who you are. Really, it's a never ending process. I learn something or change something new about myself every day. There were so many ups and downs throughout my 'journey', and as time passes it gets better and better. More and more friends, more and more respect, more and more ambition and willpower. No matter how deep a hole your in, you can get out. It just takes some of the strength from the inside, and a TRUE will to change yourself. Finding my passions helped me through this. I love going to the gym and running.
Don't depend on others to define your happiness. You'll read this in some other posts here, but it's really true. It's at the heart of being a secure, confident individual. Don't take anything personally, ever. You've probably heard 'Be yourself' a million times, but this is hard for some people, and it takes a lot of work to let it show through. It's nice to have companionship with friends and sometimes women, but friends change all the time and people come and go, and no matter what you're left with yourself, so you better like it. Keep the good friends that matter.
Be optimistic. For all my life I was an unhappy pessimist. People could see I was unhappy and negative and therefore didn't want to be around me. Sometimes I had to fake optimism, but in the end, I've legitimately changed my outlook on life to be a good one. I found out this is where my newfound ambition and drive has come from. I now WANT to get out there and meet new people, make new friends, show people who I am, I want to go to the gym and keep doing what I'm doing because I will make more progress.
Don't fall in love too easily. You're the prize, the real man with ambition, love, willpower, not her.
. I don't think it's good to 'go after' girls. It's your job to create the initial attraction and set everything up in the beginning, and it should be her job to chase. So thank you to everyone here to setting me off on the right foot. I thought just reading articles in here would change me instantly into the person I wanted to be. Wow, was I wrong. What they did though was make me think and realize more about myself, things I never knew but got the insight into. Sometimes the little tips and tricks work, but most people need to work here on their 'inner game'. They gave me some motivation to get out there and start making things happen. But you won't make anything happen just by reading it on here, you have to do it, you have to change. I feel like I just left adolescence and made my transition into manhood. There is a lot more, I could go a lot deeper, but I'm gonna cut it off right here because that's the meat of it. Keep in mind, this all took place over a VERY long period, and I left some really good stuff out, but I'm running out of room. Hopefully some people here will learn something from this, and I think a lot of other people have made the transition themselves.
going to the gym and finding MY passions -- best thing I ever did. Never change who you are for someone or something else.