My indecisive AFC friend

[Crayon]

I wanted to hear your advice on this, since i can't really figure out what to do in this situation.

Let me start of by saying, that this is not one of those posts, where i pretend to be talking about a friend, while it's actually all about me. I've shouted to a group of girls at a festival, that i had a small penis, just for a laugh, so i personally have no issues about what people think of me

I have a good friend, who i'm trying to introduce to the whole DJ thing. The problem is, that he's notoriously indecisive, wich i think, is the reason he is relatively unsuccessfull with women.

Let me try and describe him.

He is extremely witty, observant, empathic, good looking (My ex GF told me that she thought he was the best looking of my friends). He has his own appartment, dresses nicely, reasonably wealthy, and generally has his act together. Actually, you should think that he would be any girls dream catch.
He has a lot of female friends (most of wich are smoking hot), and a lot of friends in general. He works extremely well in most other social situations, apart from getting with the ladies. All his female friends are like, "I can't understand why you don't have a girlfriend", but none of them are xxxxking him!

The problem, as i see it, is that he might come of as insecure and indecisive when girls study him. While this is endearing if youre his female friend, it's not something you want from a man you intend to share a bed with. If he tries to say something ****y, he often takes it back (when it's directed towards a female) wich just makes it seem weird. He's extremely ****y around his male friends, and theres no remorse when he does that!

Ofcourse, I made him look into this site, and he's actually read a lot about the subject, and he understands all the concepts on an intellectual level, yet never does anything practical about it!

I was out with him this weekend, and i literally had to push him towards a girl that was smiling at him. After i forced him to do that, we discussed, that it was like breaking a barrier for him, that felt unnatural, yet he liked the experience. Yes, girls actually smile at him when were out, but he is often completely oblivious to that.

I think he could become an excellent DJ, but some changes need to be made.

I could personally just use some tips about, what I personally can do, to help him in his quest, because it can be very frustrating to see a good piece of tail blow away in the wind!

So... What can i do to help my poor friend become a bona fide DJ?

 

[Enryu]

first of all let him do the boot camp.
Let him read the best DJ Bible entries ( Mr fingerz )
And be his wingman once in a while

 

[slaog]

He has to make the decision himself. You've introduced him to the site so now it's up to him. If he really wants to improve he'll make an effort.

 

[DonGorgon]

He has to make the decision himself. You've introduced him to the site so now it's up to him. If he really wants to improve he'll make an effort.

Honestly this is a very boring thread topic...

 

[DavenJuan]

Crayon..

thanks for sharing brother, and opening up to us and sharing.

From reading what you have described your friend to be is something that he DOES have to want to change for himself first and foremost.

However the reason WHY he seems to fail with women is because he acts like one ( or atleast appears to). what i mean by this is women are illogical sometimes and base their decisions on strictly EMOTIONS. which come off very indicisive, unsure, confused, UNCONFIDENT.

the problem with your friend acting in this behavour is something women do not want (whether they know it or not)

all of these traits show extreme unconfidence. a MAN is suppose to be CONFIDENT with ANYTHING that he does and do it with CONVICTION. right or wrong.

pook said somewhere that even when you dont know how to pronounce a word you say it LOUDLY for everyone to hear. with conviction, and if they correct you or not it doesnt matter. you are comfortable with making mistakes because you are a man.

you friend needs to demonstrate these traits if he has them. and if he doesnt then he needs to become more comfortable and confidentwith himself.

read the bible. and have him practive approaches using the 3 second rule.

he has to be confident with himself before he can be confident around others

 

[Crayon]

Thanks for the tips guys. We're going out this friday, where we will hopefully be approaching a lot of chicks

 

[schttrj]

crayon, u know what, I have a friend like this too. Its not that he buys flowers, candies or pays for dinner, all that impressing stuff but I feel he simply lacks the fire! He will whine about the infidelity fo his ex and all teh other 'downing' things in this life. Though he is better off than me in most cases. So I have thought out a way to deal with this, cant say if it would work or not since he is not fully into improving himself. But what I do is just do my stuff in front of him and explain to him why I am doing this. And also motivates him to go for the girls ro do what he cant do or just push out of the comfort zone but its not entirely that I am pushing him but it is just a play! Sometimes I challenge him playfully with a punishment that he will suffer if he cant do that thing. Like what happens between friends. And then I do my stuff and show him how to do it. Not like preaching, but just kind of clearing what needs to be done in what situation. Kind of. but Body language and voice --- all this needs real desire, man. DJing is improving oneself and if you dont have the desire to improve urself, how can you be a DJ?

and a very strange fact I have seen, some guys just accept the way it is! and they need a huge blow to their mind, emotions and psychology to get that rolling....