My high school girlfriend

[Poonstra]

So my high school girl friend reached back out to me. This happened about 14-15 months ago. She emailed an organization where I did some volunteering when I was younger, and they still had my contact information so they forwarded her email to me. We decided to meet up for a couple of beers, and talked about the old days. Surprise, surprise, she was going through a divorce. Anyhow, we ended up having sex a couple of times that same night, and the next morning. The following weeks she came over once or twice a week, at which time we initiated sex immediately, and only after did other stuff.

At that time I was also banging a Brazilian girl, about whom I also posted a thread. This relationship ended in a clusterf*ck, as described in said thread. Point being, at that time I told her we shouldn't have sex anymore cause I was really hitting it of with the Brazilian girl.

Now, we didn't stop seeing each other, we kept in touch and saw each other about once every two, three weeks, on a friendly basis. She found a guy she likes and they start dating. I didn't mind, a was seeing the other girl and I wanted her to be happy. My relationship with the Brazilian girl ended this summer and the high school girlfriend and I still see each other sometimes, again, on a friendly basis. I don't have a large social circle so having access to hers was kinda the reason I kept her around. At no point did I make any move.

Fast forward to 8 weeks ago. She invited herself over to my place at midnight on a Friday, I of course knows what she is coming over for and we bang the sh!t out of each other. She said she is in love with me, finds me extremely attractive.

She is a busy girl, has her own company, has three kids. We don't see each other often, about once every 8-9 days, but when we do there is always hot rough sex. She still dates the before mentioned guy.

About two weeks ago she has a change of heart, and thinks cheating with me is no basis for continuing her relation with other guy. I tell her ok bye bye, but seeing how I kinda got the feels, I send her a text the next day telling her how I feel and that I want us to continue, but only am willing to do so if she breaks of with him. She invites me over the same evening, tells me she didn't realize how I felt and is sorry. And again got some sweet loving.

This Tuesday I spend the night again, and the next morning the other guy rings. She actually looks at her telephone screen, says "it's ****, I don't want to take this now". I ask her about it and she didn't end it with him.

One more peace of information that makes this confusing, she does let me sleep over when the kids are in the house, although not often. So they are aware, at least on some level, what we are up to. The other guy never sleeps there when kids are with her, and they only see him very rarely. On the other hand, he goes to all the official family stuff, i.e. Christmas and such.

Needless to say, this has to come to a resolution. I'm not gonna stick around with him in the picture. I really like her and enjoy spending time with her and her kids. And I don't want to lose her, but I also need to protect myself from some serious heart ache. I rather end it now then in three months. How do I come out on top of this one? Or is it lost? Or should I dump her seeing how she cheated on both her then husband, and now boy friend (even tho it was me she cheated with)? I already gave her an ultimatum, do I repeat and enforce? Or say nothing and make myself scarce and create a distance. What do you guys advise?

 

[Billtx49]

You come out on top for You by ending it asap, rather than waiting in the wings to see which man SHE chooses…

 

[bcude]

Three kids, rarely got time for you? You're starting to catch feelings?
Okay for banging but sounds like it's time to run since you want to protect yourself from heartache and already say you don't want to lose her, which is dangerous territory.
The last thing you want to do is having to breakup with her and crush three kids hearts in the process.

Invest your time in something with more potential.

 

[Black Widow Void]

What a tough spot to be in. I tip my hat because you were able to revisit an old high school gal (we have all thought about this).

Any time I meet a successful married couple, I always ask them how they beat the odds. The most reasonable explanation I've heard is a common sharing of morals and ethics.

The gal you've mentioned:
is cheating on her boyfriend
is probably confusing her children/not setting a great example (having two different men in her lives)

I don't know your background, but if the two above examples do not mesh with your 'personal code' , it's something to think about.

This isn't going to be easy, but the best advice I can offer is to break away. If nothing more, you can look back ... knowing that she must think you're quite the stallion.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

So my high school girl friend reached back out to me. This happened about 14-15 months ago. She emailed an organization where I did some volunteering when I was younger, and they still had my contact information so they forwarded her email to me. We decided to meet up for a couple of beers, and talked about the old days. Surprise, surprise, she was going through a divorce. Anyhow, we ended up having sex a couple of times that same night, and the next morning. The following weeks she came over once or twice a week, at which time we initiated sex immediately, and only after did other stuff.

At that time I was also banging a Brazilian girl, about whom I also posted a thread. This relationship ended in a clusterf*ck, as described in said thread. Point being, at that time I told her we shouldn't have sex anymore cause I was really hitting it of with the Brazilian girl.

Now, we didn't stop seeing each other, we kept in touch and saw each other about once every two, three weeks, on a friendly basis. She found a guy she likes and they start dating. I didn't mind, a was seeing the other girl and I wanted her to be happy. My relationship with the Brazilian girl ended this summer and the high school girlfriend and I still see each other sometimes, again, on a friendly basis. I don't have a large social circle so having access to hers was kinda the reason I kept her around. At no point did I make any move.

Fast forward to 8 weeks ago. She invited herself over to my place at midnight on a Friday, I of course knows what she is coming over for and we bang the sh!t out of each other. She said she is in love with me, finds me extremely attractive.

She is a busy girl, has her own company, has three kids. We don't see each other often, about once every 8-9 days, but when we do there is always hot rough sex. She still dates the before mentioned guy.

About two weeks ago she has a change of heart, and thinks cheating with me is no basis for continuing her relation with other guy. I tell her ok bye bye, but seeing how I kinda got the feels, I send her a text the next day telling her how I feel and that I want us to continue, but only am willing to do so if she breaks of with him. She invites me over the same evening, tells me she didn't realize how I felt and is sorry. And again got some sweet loving.

This Tuesday I spend the night again, and the next morning the other guy rings. She actually looks at her telephone screen, says "it's ****, I don't want to take this now". I ask her about it and she didn't end it with him.

One more peace of information that makes this confusing, she does let me sleep over when the kids are in the house, although not often. So they are aware, at least on some level, what we are up to. The other guy never sleeps there when kids are with her, and they only see him very rarely. On the other hand, he goes to all the official family stuff, i.e. Christmas and such.

Needless to say, this has to come to a resolution. I'm not gonna stick around with him in the picture. I really like her and enjoy spending time with her and her kids. And I don't want to lose her, but I also need to protect myself from some serious heart ache. I rather end it now then in three months. How do I come out on top of this one? Or is it lost? Or should I dump her seeing how she cheated on both her then husband, and now boy friend (even tho it was me she cheated with)? I already gave her an ultimatum, do I repeat and enforce? Or say nothing and make myself scarce and create a distance. What do you guys advise?

If you're not sure of something don't do it. Your hesitation will infect your execution. In this case be indirect, it's much easier and more powerful. Simply get busy with other women. Stop going over to her place and be less available. You obviously feel disrespected and you can't force her to change, so disengage, quit trying to tie down a woman that doesn't respect you. Directly telling her you're done makes it seem like this has been a super important thing in your life, when all you've been doing is hooking up. Indirectly disengage and see if she starts putting in an effort. Either she'll start respecting you more and submit, or she'll disappear. You only focus on women up to your standards so you win either way. Either she falls in line or you find someone that does.

As a man you lead yourself with conviction. Everything you do, everything you feel, everything you think, and everything that happens to you, you own it, completely. It ain't sheet because you know you can handle it, that's the mindset that'll attract women. Complete confidence in one's own abilities and limitations.

If a woman likes you she'll follow. As she follows you she'll be inspired to change into your ideal partner. If she ever loses interest in that or starts impeding on your self respect it's your duty to let her go. You simply lead yourself and mold/inspire the people that follow you. No trying to convince her to stay or get serious, no bringing up taking the relationship to the next level, let her do all that and then really think about it pragmatically before agreeing. All your decisions should be rooted in calm logic, not irrational emotions.

Your attention and time have value, invest them wisely. Have a king mindset and watch as people begin treating you like one. Believe that everything you want will come to you in time(because you trust in your own abilities) and people will start believing it too.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

Bang em both til it all blows up in your face someday.

 

[samspade]

I met my old lover on the street last night
She seemed so glad to see me, I just smiled
And we talked about some old times
And we drank ourselves some beers
Still crazy after all these years

- Paul Simon

 

[Epic Days]

Unbelievable. Lol

 

[Poonstra]

For those that care, I talked to her today and broke it off. Back to tinder for me.

 

[Poonani Maker]

My brother, after 2 divorces, married his hs sweetheart after she Somehow found him and reached out to him in a phone call. She sure as sh!t found out he was a high roller, the social/monetary bases covered as well as looks though he's always had a weight problem (he's all about his Brain not his body).

 

[Desdinova]

And I don't want to lose her, but I also need to protect myself from some serious heart ache.

That's why you don't go back to exes that you were previously attracted to. Your best bet is to drop her because all she's doing now is having her cake and eating it too. Why should she be stuck with only one man when she can have two!