My heart is broken

[Lightning50]

Hey. I just wanted some advice. There's this one girl I met about 7 months ago through work. I talked to her a bit, and we kinda flirted. But I asked her out and she said no. I just couldn't believe it. This isn't just another girl. I think about her all the time. I'd say no more than 30 seconds goes by where I don't think about her. It sucks because I'm not attracted emotionally to many girls, even if they're really pretty. It's like every hot girl I've seen before I think "Yeah, she's really hot, but there's no chemistry". This girl changed everything. And she doesn't feel the same way. How long do you guys think this will last? Will it go away any time soon? It hurts so bad.

And another thing. Why aren't any of my friends feeling this way? This woman is beautiful and she has the personality. They always talk about how they'd "bang her", etc. But I'm curious as to why none of them feel any emotional attachment to her. I don't get it. None of my friends have even remotely talked about any emotional attachment to any girls, or if they'd be jealous if they were dating someone else. Those sort of things. It's always puzzled me.

 

[xhikari]

I smell AFC in the AIR

 

[Lightning50]

Wow, that helped. Thanks @$$hole.

 

[HHloser2]

Originally posted by xhikari
I smell AFC in the AIR

lol.

Dude you have to read the bible. The way i see it you need to see more gals to get over her.

 

[Desdinova]

But I asked her out and she said no. I just couldn't believe it.

You're crushed because you got rejected by one woman? If you go to a job interview and they don't hire you, do you go home and sulk? NO! You go and put more resumes out until you find a job that will hire you.

If you think this is "real love", you're very mistaken. Love is a two way street. The problem is you allowed yourself to become emotionally involved with a woman when there wasn't even a relationship to speak of.

Also, you cannot start a relationship of any kind on pure emotion. Emotion should come when a man and a woman have been dating for a while and have started an exclusive relationship. If you focus on having fun with women before focusing on "love", you're going to have much better success.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Desdinova
Also, you cannot start a relationship of any kind on pure emotion. Emotion should come when a man and a woman have been dating for a while and have started an exclusive relationship. If you focus on having fun with women before focusing on "love", you're going to have much better success.

Exactly.

Don't build a romantic relationship and then try to fit the girl into it. No woman wants that. Instead, just hang out with her and let "love" develop on its own.

 

[jprjrjr]

Originally posted by Lightning50
Wow, that helped. Thanks @$$hole.

Why is he an a-hole? Because he pointed out that you shouldn't get all bent out of shape becaue one chick rejected you? You're the kind of guy that makes it hard for other guys. She didn't like you, so what? There are 3 billion other women on the planet. Don't wast your time with someone who doesn't like you.

 

[earthshyne]

If this is as close as you'll come to a broken heart, then consider yourself extremely lucky. No offence intended, but IMHO (which, of course, isn't quite that H) broken hearts are reserved for those who have lost their love due to circumstances completely beyond their control. It's not the fact that the partner is gone, it's the fact that there isn't any meaning to the loss.

Trust me on this. I know whereof I speak. And I'm not gonna say anymore about it.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

dont sweet it, some of us have bigger problens then that! I just checked and the scones have been left out and gone dry! That sux! i love scones! to me that is worse then any girl rejecting me!

 

[DrSoSuave]

Originally posted by squirrels
Exactly.

Don't build a romantic relationship and then try to fit the girl into it. No woman wants that. Instead, just hang out with her and let "love" develop on its own.

Good advice. There are a lot of women in my mind that I place fantasy romantic relationships with... but alas she is taken or isn't interested in me. A good rule is to only think of her in the romantic sense when you are there with her, not when you aren't.

 

[00Kevin]

keep your sheild up until she breaks down emotionally or until she proves herself to you.

I don't take a girl seriously until I hear a girl call me her boyfriend infront of her friends.

 

[Flea]

Been there, done that

I've been in your situation for a while now, but thanks largely to the article linked below, have finally figured out how to deal with it. You HAVE to quit obsessing. As the article states, it will suck the life out of you and you become a Blithering Blob of Insecurity.

The bottom line - she has not earned the right to mess with your emotions or hurt your feelings. So don't let her. Take control of your own emotions.

Read this article, and when those thoughts of her start creeping in your head - ball them up, throw them on the ground and stomp them out.

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/kiss.htm


The Kiss of Death

 

[ShizamDaMan]

Originally posted by Lightning50
Wow, that helped. Thanks @$$hole.

"You know, you acting like a little ***** aight?"

-Dave Chappelle

But seriously, grow a pair and then get your act together. It's no wonder she won't go out with you.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

I've been gradually slipping back into this oneitus situation with a girl at College.

Fortunately I've been sensible enough to take immeidiate action and go out on Friday night and get myself a few digits.

Don't ever let your emotions be affected by the actions of one girl because girls are emotional, unbalanced creatures, if you allow your mood to be affected by her actions then you'll become one as well.

 

[diman]

How long do you guys think this will last? Will it go away any time soon? It hurts so bad.

It could last for a very very long time, even more than a year

The best solution is to get with some real women. Gradually it will go away.

read this article for an answer to your other questions
www.sosuave.com/articles/infatuation.htm

 

[baracus]

This thread belongs on Queer eye for the Straight Guy.

 

[englishman]

Originally posted by Lightning50
Wow, that helped. Thanks @$$hole.

lol......that didnt sound afc......put that fire into how you handle yourself around women.....

 

[xhikari]

Originally posted by Lightning50
Wow, that helped. Thanks @$$hole.

such heroic phrase...try those on ur girl and not me....or perhaps u might turn into tangible "tofu" again when u see her???